stay in Sibu

My stay in Sibu is... how should I put it. Tiring? Yeah. Although I hate to admit that, it's true. Tiring.

I spent whole day at the site, or outside, running all over the places.

That includes flying. On a helicopter. Sounds cool? Yeah. Cool. In between the heli rides and dining at expensive exclusive places, being able to order absolutely anything I want at whim, and getting to know all the VIPs out there, it amaze me how upset still I am.

I'm still upset that they haven't given me the laptop and mobile phone and car that they'd promised me.

As angry and pissed as I am with this, I still manage to suppress my anger somewhat (miraculously) because I found out the reason why they were unable to do that. My God. *slaps forehead*

Everything is in such a mess. No wonder they are willing to hire me at such high price. They expect me to just swing my wand and poof! All the problems are solved. Gone into thin air. Vanished!

Ma-deh. As if that is possible. And to think that I have to give 3 months notice to resign. To be honest, I'm close to resigning. Again. I hate this miserable "chess" game. Either you lose or you win. Such bloody tiring game.

Patience. Patience. I need them now. Patience. Loads. More than you can imagine.

I'm wee bit close to calling my boss and bombed him this morning. Yeah. Those of you who knows me in person KNOWS that I'll do that whenever I'm pissed and that I won't give a fuck who's at the receiving end. And yeah. I woke up at the wrong side of the bed. I woke up angry. I woke up upset. And super pissed after making several important deciding calls back to HQ in Kuching.

FUCK! The first big four lettered foul word of the day. It's my word of the day.

Kanneh comes 2nd.

Cheebye comes 3rd.

As much as I want to curse, I hate to admit that my vocabulary on foul words are super limited.

Conclusion is : I'm not even good in cursing. Loser. Lame. Tiu.

So, instead of going to the site, I've locked myself inside the hotel room, enjoying the air cond, the coffee, the tv, the music, and the joy of surfing and blogging all in one go. Oh, with great Sibu town scenery too.

Have I mentioned that I bought a laptop? It's mine. Not the company ones. I've been wanting to buy one for quite some time now. Finally got it. Everything's fabulous. Except the bloody keyboard though. It's not responsive. I can't repeatedly type two continuous letter at one go. The letters just won't come out. So it's kinda annoying for me cause I type super fast. Average 70-80 words per minute. If the keyboard is nice and to my liking, I can easily reach 90 words per minute with 100% accuracy rate.

You don't believe me? Think I'm bluffing? Ask my friends. They'll smack your head and tell you "What? You don't fucking believe her? Try and have a competition with her then you MORON!"

*double whacks*

The speakers are awesome. The display is splendid. Oh. It's an Acer by the way. Aspire 4520. Cheap and fast unit. The shell is black in colour and after a while staring at it, I begin to like it. I didn't like it at first. The shape's slightly different. A little on the oval egg shape. Has curves on every corner. Everything's good and dandy. I've always liked Acer for a while now. Compared to Toshiba and NEC and Twinhead. But this unit has lousy keyboard. Fuck. Everything's good except the goddamn keyboard. Do you think I can have the keyboard changed? Better still, I'll go get a good keyboard. Kanneh.

I know. I'm babbling. Rambling. Ranting. Whatever.

I'm not in the mood to work. I'm bored. I'm pissed. I'm upset. I'm dizzy. The combination of all these produces:-

bored + pissed + upset + dizzy = bad mood

When I'm in a bad mood, it means I'm suicidal. Aggressive. Super sensitive. Every little thing is wrong for me. Right now I feel like flinging the 21" tv set in my hotel room out of the huge window panes behind me.

It'll be fun to watch it crash all the way down. It'll be better if the damn stupid box managed to claim some lives down there.

I miss my water gun. If I have it now, I'll fill it up with acid and go about on a crazy shooting spree. I'm on high mood to do some massive torturing activities.

That way I'll feel better. If I feel better, I'll cool down. If I'm cool, I'll calm down. If I'm calm, then perhaps, I'll be normal. Yeah. Right now, I'm far from normal.

Looking back, I've always been in angry mood. Way too frequently. At the rate I'm going, I won't be able to make it past 35. I'll be dead before I reach mid thirties.

I'll go out for a quick survey. Then I'll come back to brood further. Maybe I'll write more later too.