end of dilemma

Howdie folks! I'm back back back. *chuckles*

I've made up my mind. It's the end of my dilemma. I'm not gonna resign from my current job. *sigh*

Is that silly? Nay. I don't know how to explain this, but I personally feel that this is not a fight I should back out from.

I love challenges. But the challenges depend on the risks involved. The consequences of my decisions and actions. The commitments I've assigned to myself.

I spent close to one week of sleepless nights, tossing around in my bed. Wide eyed. My brain cells were working overtime and they are slowing to a halt. Almost. *paiseh* I think I worked them to the point of death. ^^;; Aaa... bad me bad me. =P

I've also taken what Crizzy said into consideration. Thanks for the pointers dude! =)

1. Will u be happy in the new environment compared to the old one?

I've worked with this boss before, so I'm certain of what the new environment would be. But I'm not really bothered with the environment. I'm more concerned of human interactions and relationships. I can work in the worse of environments, but if human interaction sucks, I don't think I can live with that. I have close to 0% endurance level. ^^;;

2. Were u be fairly remunerated for the amount of hard work you have put in? Of course get more from the new company if they are so desperate to get hold of you. The bargaining power is in your hand. Do not go too low. Ask for a higher salary and negotiate with them. Who knows, they migt just approve your requirement.

Definitely no. There's no such thing as fair when it comes to working your ass off. I don't even own the damn company. Why work so hard and earn so little when the damn thing does not even belong to you? I'll call it totally, wholly, utterly unfair. Yes. The bargaining power is in my hand, but does the Boss realize that? Maybe he does, and hence tried every possible way to win me over. eg. sweet-talking me, bluffing me, luring me. -___-'' Again, I've been treated like a 3 year old kid. Sien!

For me, the negotiation period is over. Thank God I'm not easily influenced. Crap all you want, I'll just laugh heartily away. Muahahaha! =D

3. Compare the 2 companies. Which of this 2 can give u better job promotion?

Hn. Better job promotion? Both has good aspects. Both are big companies; one local and one semi-international type. Both has awesome organizational setups. Both are capable of giving good job promotions. Both are good stepping stones - if you're aiming for higher, better working environment and remuneration. Both are extremely competitive. Both has their respective pros and cons. If I were to weight them out, the results would be a very close match. That's why it's so difficult to decide.

4. Will this new job affect your life, relationship, etc?

Life? Hmm. Me got no life one lar. Everyday mah work work work like crazy and then sleep sleep sleep like a pig lor. So I'm not worried about life. I'm not in any relationship at all so that's another thing out of the list to worry about. But hor, I do worry about being home-sick. Both jobs require me to travel a lot and be far far away from my home sweet home wor. I think the things I worry the most are:-

• food (bad food turns me off, and gimme bad mood. Really!)
  
• internet connection (can't imagine living without surfing and downloads)
  
• air-cond (I sweat a lot on site but if you want me to sweat while sleeping then I may as well no need to sleep liao!!!)
  
• transportation (to cabut anytime lor)
• salary + allowance = reasonable??? (I can be easily appeased if I'm satisfied here. LOL. Who doesn't eh? Muahahaha!)
• career advancement (if can't advance then I may as well quit now lor, why so bodoh wanna trudge your way through?)
  

This is what another reader commented:-

Ken said...

Honestly, you sound like you want to take it but just afraid of the change...

Just my opinion though. As what Criz said.. just follow your heart and make yourself happy. We only live once.

Hmm. Maybe yes. Maybe no. I am afraid, but not of the changes. I'm more afraid of the consequences of my actions. What if I made a wrong decision?! What if I threw away the best opportunity I already had in my hands, just to get a rotten deal? What if I screw up?! So many what if(s). Aiyor. Headache lor.

A call from my ex-boss helped me to decide. On the spot actually. He mentioned something about getting lotsa projects from all over the place. I asked him whether he has any intention of sending me over to those places and appoint me as representative there. The answer? A bellowing Yes! To my great disappointment. Not that I wasn't expecting it, mind you, but with the type of work loads he expected me to do, he's giving me a lousy salary - one which he thinks is VERY high already.

That's it. Game over. End of story. I'm not joining him. Bleh. Bu-bye. Sayonara.

I'm bad, no? An advice from me to you. Never show any sympathy to ANY of your boss ok? They so bloody dun deserve it! And what? You think they will pity you if, one day you're rendered useless? Wake up deary! They won't even buy you coffin if you died on the spot! No matter how much you deserve it. And no. I'm being very serious here.

I'm cunning, no? If I don't get what I want then I make sure you don't get what you want also. Fair or not? No? Eeee... your brain functioning or not ar? =P

I'm heartless, no? Wei, if I'm heart-ful then I mah very busy lor, no? Where got time to look after myself if I keep kay-poh-ing about other ppl's welfare? Haiya!

I'll try my best to concentrate on my work now and just strive to do better and better and gain more and more knowledge with each passing day. No matter what, you just have to climb that ladder. Otherwise, you'd never now what's up there!

Looking back now, I feel so stupid worrying myself silly over such trivial matters. Such things are considered trivial once you're over them. The moment you haven't decide though, it feels like it's the whole world you'd ever had. Pathetic hor? *shakes head*

Ta-Pen-Dan! (translate : Big stupid egg) No wonder my head felt like splitting!

*slaps forehead*

*scurries off to watch Anime*
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p/s : Crizzy and Ken. Thanks for your comments and thanks for reading. I really appreciate them. They helped immensely. =)

p/s 2 : Thanks to all the readers who's been frequenting my blog, reading everything that I spewed out in the darkest moments of my life. Your presence somehow soothes me. The numbers of visitors visiting my blog comforts me. Thank you all for your support. I mean it. Really. Arigato! =^___^=