If you can't beat them, join them

Yeah. You read that right. I really need to surrender when it comes to driving in Sarikei. Each time I'm on the road, I either curse non-stop or I nearly got a heart attack. For goodness sake, peps here drive as if they are blindfolded and as if their damn parents own the fucking road. I lost count of the number of times I nearly ran over one of those jerks on the road. Be it pedestrians, motorcyclist or motorist. My conclusion after being in Sarikei for nearly 1 year is this : If you can't beat them, join them.

You see, I'm just a mere human. I can't change the way they behave. I can't force them to behave. I can't change the world. But what I can do is change myself. So change myself I will.

If you can't beat them, JOIN them!!!

Hell yeah. To extend my life span and to save me more energy & saliva for future use, I'm now determined to BLEND IN with them folks. How? That's easy. Just DO what THEY DO lar! Sap sap sui lar. So let's open your eyes wide wide and read on!!!

These are the things they do (okok... not EVERYONE of them do these but MAJORITY of them do wokay!) and DO THEM I SHALL!!!

1. Drive at 30 kmh in the town
2. Drive at 10 kmh or less than that when turning at junctions (the slower the better)
   
3. Drive at 40-50 kmh when over-taking another vehicle (NEVER go above 60 kmh!!)
   
4. When turning from a 'small' road into a 'big' road, just SQUEEZE your way in even when there is a car coming from the straight main road because they are SUPPOSED to give way to you (see? Smart eh? The cars at the main road are supposed to give way to those coming out from 'small' roads wor. Nice right?) Warning : Do NOT drive like this in big cities (such as Kuching or KL) because this rule only, I repeat, ONLY APPLIES in small town. Got that?! Why? If you drive like that in big cities, you'd be a goner in less than 5 mins!!!
   
5. When you see a vacant parking space, STEP on that accelerator pad hard hard!!! It doesn't matter if other ppl spotted it first, it doesn't matter if they switched their signal lights on first, what matters is "WHO GETS THERE FIRST!!"
6. You can stop in the middle of the road just to answer phone calls
7. Motorcyclist can listen to phone calls while riding their bikes WITH THEIR HELMET ON
8. You can turn right or left WHENEVER you feel like it without putting any signal lights on
9. If you spotted your good friend while driving, it's OKAY for you to hit brake IMMEDIATELY and start chatting heartily away (dun worry, the cars or motorbikes behind ya won't honk at ya cuz they will give way CUZ you're an old ah pek or ah mu and you look as if you're very near death gate already so they should all do their parts being the good citizen they should be and GIVE WAY TO YOU)
10. At night, make sure you drive with your high light on. Never use low light, cause you can't see very far one. Surely end up in longkang one. Other road users won't marah one. Peps here are very understanding one you know!

Hmmm... I think I've covered almost all of them. And guess what? I put them into good use while cruising the town just now and IT'S VERY ENJOYABLE!!! Damn shiok I tell you. Bear in mind tho, you can only do that here.

Welcome to Sarikei.