Future plans

I'm a bit kay-poh lately so just let me release my stim and rant to my satisfaction, ok?

If you are a frequent reader, you would have realized by now that this year spells disaster for me. I'm jobless, penniless, useless, helpless, hopeless, partner-less, fruitless and yes. The list goes on. You can add on whatever '-less' ending word that you can think of. I believe they will suit me just fine.

The last blow was the departure of my Daddy to be with God. Awww. And before I realized it, I have more or less learn to accept this great lost, all within the span of 1 year. Am I just damn strong and tough or am I just heartless?

Frankly, I don't know the answer. But one thing I do know is that I have to move on. It pains me not being able to contribute to my family in this time of dire needs. My joy of eating has dissipated (whatever left of my appetite is just mere shows to cover up my heartache) and I have shed off the plumpness from my body. My mind is always filled with money money money. Hence, the silly money post just now, ahaks!

I need a job where I can be close to my family and be there for Mum 24/7. I cannot do outstation jobs and I do believe I've turned down more than enough share of jobs to get my name blacklisted in the market. Problem is, most developments are done in rural areas and that spells o-u-t-s-t-a-t-i-o-n. That's kind of a taboo word for Mum cause Daddy used to do outstation jobs thus didn't spend much time with us. Plus, I have the same profession as Daddy so practically speaking, that is like adding salt to open wounds. Mummy cried again this morning when signing the name transfer of properties documents. T_T

While searching for a job, I reckon it would be good to get back to writing. My blog is kinda messy after months upon months of neglect. I do hope it can generate an income sufficient to get me by, at least for the moment while I work on stuffs.

By now I'm already so dehydrated watching with my own eyes how all of my hard work went down the drain. It's high time for a change.

Still, changing is difficult, especially in the midst of ... well, hell? By the very least, I can truly enjoy blogging. I love writing but I've noticed how darkly my writings were as of late. I can't really help it, what with all those unfortunate shits happening in my life and all. But I'm trying to tone things down and focus on more, educational stuffs.

I'd probably sign up with nuffnang too. And go back to reading blogs. I haven't read blogs in ages. When was the last time I read a blog? 4 or 5 months ago? I did drop by michaelooi.net cause his blog uploads fast without pictures. And his posts certainly entertained me.

Currently trying to decide whether to do Master in Business Administration, or Master in Management, Master in Project Management or Master in Science or Master in Engineering. Then there's the University selection process to ponder on.

*smiles*

I'm really trying to get my life back on track. Believe me. Picking up all the broken pieces and stitching them up together is no easy task. First task is trying to cry less. In my case, it's more or less accomplished, except for the occasional burst of tears. I wish I could rip out my tear ducts. That way, nobody can tell that I'm crying. Or had been crying. Haha

Well, if you have any tips on how to make money from home then do let me know. I do need the cash badly and I'm sure you can judge from my writings that I am, capable of writing! ;P