Hopeless...

Today is probably one of the worst day of my life. Never in my life had I ever felt so hopeless. So mad. So pissed off. So speechless. So dumbfounded. Bewildered. Unbelievable.

OH MY GOD.

If only I was the one in charge.
If only I was the one in authority.
If only I was there.
If only I was given the mandate.
If only I was given the chance!

Why can't they perform?
Why can't they deliver?
Why can't they just DO what they claimed they can do?
Why can't they solve meagre, insignificant, peanut, chicken feet problems?
Why can't they think?
Why don't they think?
Why is it that they never think?
Why don't they just USE their BRAINS?!

Geeez.. someone please point a gun at me and SHOOT ME DEAD. I really mou-ngan-tai. I can't bear to see all these nonsense. Shit.

Seriously, I sincerely believe that even snails crawl faster and have better brains than these bunch of morons. UGH!!!!

My Laptop is dead...

I'm sad to announce the death of my beloved laptop. It's barely 2 years old. It has worked very very hard for me. Thus the tragic ending. =P Well.. actually it was attacked by spywares, blaster worms AND trojans. Seriously I'm still quite 'blur' about the origin of all these attacks. I've been visitting my favourite sites (paultan.org and gsmarena, among a few) when my poor poor lappy was attacked viciously by all these slimes. T_T

My poor lappy stopped breathing last night. I was really sad cause of the huge collection of anime that died together with it. Oh well, maybe I'll get it opened up tomorrow.

Am blogging thru my pda. At least I can still manage. Otherwise I'll feel really handicapped. hahaha

Blocked again?

I've got a problem. I think. I'm having problem thinking up the title for the post I'm making. Is that a sign that my brain is slacking or am I just being plain plain lazy?

=P

I don't know. I hope someone will tell me. I'd appreciate that very very much.

How's your day today? Mine is... hectic. It's frustrating to realize that no matter how tired I am, I just can't afford to divert my eyes elsewhere for even a nanosecond cuz everything starts falling apart the moment I took a breather.

T_T

That is just so so so dreadful. Wei.. I'm not a robot. I'm human also. Why can't I rest? Why can't things just fall into place for just even once? Why is it that I always have to be at the heart of things???

If I have to keep doing all those things I've been doing all these while non-stop, I'm sure my heart will stop beating at the tender age of 30s.

Both my mobile phones batteries went flat before I even reach home today. Too many calls, too many sms-es, too many updates. Does that mean I better go buy another phone? You know, to act as backup. And I have to keep at least 5 pieces of RM50 reload cards in my wallet. I once reloaded RM130 on the spot and it was still not enough. Oh dear. My pocket is emptying fast. I'll start eating grass very very soon. T_T . If my deal is not sealed. Soon. *sigh*

One of my deal is getting really close to being sealed. I hope it seals tonight. Then I can relax for a bit and maybe try and get back to my normal sleeping pattern. Damn deal is killing me. Shhh.. sorry, can't tell you what deal it is about but I assure you.. it's definitely not drugs. Hahaha.. it is a legal deal and I'm just being a bitch for not telling you. At the same time, I want to experience for myself the thrills of keeping secrets. I used to be very transparent, honest and trustworthy. The thing is, I always have to keep secrets for my friends and not the other way around. I don't have much secrets to keep anyway cause I always tell people things but at least, this time, I want to keep this a secret.

Are you dying to know what's the secret deal now?

Kekeke..

I

AM

NOT

telling

you...

^___~

Hello World II

Hi everyone. It's been a while. I mean, it's been ages. I almost forgot the existence of this blog all together. That's mean of me eh? *sigh*

Well, life has been tough. Very tough. I've been so busy working, I hardly get enough sleep anymore (do you call 3 hours sleep a day enough?) and I'm starting to feel like a zombie.

*looks back and slaps head*

I need my life back!!!

Haven't gone to cinema in a while. What's currently showing?

I think the latest movie I've watched is Wall-E. Nope. I didn't watch it in the cinema. It's not shown here yet, right? Or have I missed it? Anyway, Wall-E is cute, adorable and a romantic at heart. He sounds kinda ancient, looks ancient and feels ancient to me. But I like him for the way he is. Awww...

So, let me update you on the latest happenings in my life, kay?

• I moved to a new house. Me and my whole family. It's a huge semi-d with a huge compound. Each of us got a room of our own, except for my parents, haha. They have to share. Kekeke... Has always been a dream of ours to have a house with large compound mainly to park all those cars that we have. I ended up buying a Viva cuz my old house compound can only house 2 cars at best. Really can't imagine buying a Honda Civic just to have it parked outside. My heart will be torn into two and I'll be constantly worrying about its wellbeing. Awww...
• I quit my job. It's affecting my life cause I was so stressed and my instincts warned me that the unnecessary built-up pressure is really not worth working my ass off day in and day out. The job demand is crazy and totally impossible (only superman can do it). If I can make it possible then I may as well go open my own company. Aiseh...
• Hahaha. Talk about opening my own company! Does that mean that I can actually do what's expected of me but I didn't do it because I just don't feel like doing it? Meanie! Hahaha.. Actually I did plan to setup some sort of business. My calculations told me that the amount of time I spent slaving myself to some big boss is not worth anything because when you compare the profit margin earned by the company/big boss to the salary that they pay you, it is so meager and does not play any significance at all. If that is the case, I wanna be the boss too! I finally setup my company with a business partner. Finding a business partner is SO HARD! And I am especially happy with the Company Number cause it has all the *p.r.o.s.p.e.r.i.t.y* number inside. I hope the company really prospers. Hahaha..
• Since I setup my company I have been working on numerous deals but alas, none of them has materialized, yet. Some looks very promising but there are various other factors that control and determine the nasib of the ending. All I can do is just work hard, do my best and leave the rest to God. Hahaha.. God! Please help!!!

So, those are the major updates of my life. They seem to be nothing much but they mean a whole lot to me. Quitting my job and setting up a company is considered a very big deal to me so I'm really surprised that I actually had the guts to proceed when everything else seems so dark and uncertain. The darkness is there but I hope that whatever torchlight and candles that I bring with me is enough to guide me till the end of the tunnel. Nothing comes easy and it is even more true that nothing is free. Only God's love is free and unconditional. I mean, how many of us here can do things unconditionally? None. There is none. If you can, please enlighten me. ^___^

This post doesn't sound like me at all, eh? I'm all serious and work now. Had always been like this but didn't show much when I socialize cause I'd still show my crazy personality. Now? It's time for change. Change is good, no?