Cactus...

I bought some cactus that caught my attention at the pasar tamu near Satok yesterday. I am delighted at the uniqueness of these cactus.. so much so that I bought 6 of them one go... You can see them here:-








I'm gonna transfer them over to new bigger pots tonite. I hope they can survive well under my care. Muahahaha *evil grins*

ICT Fair at OneTJ

Went to ICT Fair at OneTJ around noon time just now. The fair started on 29 July - 2 Aug, I think.. cause I just glanced through the newspaper this morning(didn't really paid much attention to details). Anyway, the duration of the fair is... somewhat weird. A normal PC fair ususally takes 3 days, no more no less. At least that's the way it is here. So, why advertise in the paper on the third day and not the first? Or before?

I found out later on how empty OneTJ is, even with an ongoing so called ICT Fair. As usual, they throw in some cheap stuffs - memory card reader at RM1.90 and A4 Tech mouse at RM9.90. So hurry up before it runs out! The rest are just the usual stuffs, LCD monitors, speakers and whatnots. The card reader is restricted to 1 perchase per customer and is only available to the first 100 buyers. Latecomers will get the usual price, I think they are set at RM9.90. Anyway, I bought 2 of them for my sisters, and yeah, you guessed it right, the mouse is for my sis as well. I found her mini-mouse's wheel somewhat not functioning properly. But being the poor chap I am, I can only afford a 9.90 mouse for her. T_T

Actually, I was worried that we won't be able to buy those card readers. They were sold out like hot cakes during the previous PC fair and since I reckoned today is the 3rd day of the ICT Fair, chances of me getting them is slim. But hell, instead of 1, I got 2. Unbelievable.

Since they are so cheap, I just grab them without even looking much. Upon closer scrutiny at home though, I found that the card readers are of Tecom brand. My heart sank cuz I DO NOT believe in Tecom brands. They suck and they break like within days of using them.

I ever used a mouse and keyboard of Tecom made - supplied by the silly management who entrusted the job of purchasing to a bunch of sly foxes who cheats at every chances that they got - the mouse went bonkers within 3 days of usage and the keyboard only lasted 5 days.

Having said all that, I hope the damn cheap card reader will survive longer than its worth of money. Sheesh!

This is life...

Warning - emo post. You'll be getting lotsa emo posts as of late. I can't hold them in anymore.

~~~

I popped back up again. And this time for good reason. During my absence, I've noticed several followers tagging me. Being a bit blur myself, I am unsure to the reason why they tagged me, because most of them are from twitter. I remember removing twitter box from my blog due to some problems (I can't remember exactly what, oh dear). Then I found out that I added my blog address to my twitter, so I figured whoever added me must have noticed my blog somehow. I'm a klutz. I don't even remember doing that. But people are still reading my blog, albeit the number is somewhat small.

Life has been EXTREMELY rough this year. In fact, the Golden Ox year is the worst year in my whole life (no kidding). I've been through so much, the experiences are making me numb to the very core.

I had wanted to blog about them, but I'm not ready yet. Right now, I'm ready to blog again, but I won't talk about them till I'm ready. What this literally means is that I'll be blogging about anything else but these until I am ready. Hmm... this is confusing, no?

I used to think that life is useless, meaningless existence. You're born into this world, eat, play and sleep, grows up, studied half dead, then worked your ass off only to find that suddenly you're an old, dried up wrinkled raisin that's equivalent to being dead. So you played, worked, lived and died. And along came pain, anger, sadness, happiness, and all those craps in between. So what?

At the tender age of 10, my conclusion of life is that human kinds are better off dead, this world totally wiped out, leaving a total darkness to befall this empty space. That spells peace, somehow. Right?

10 years later I found a new meaning to life. No words can describe that.

Another 10 years later, I am like : Oh fuck, everybody is better off dead anyway, including me. There's just too much pain. Damn.

Perhaps I am being too emotional. Oh yeah, I am sensitive. Straightforward. I said the truth even when it hurts. But hell, who the fuck appreciates that. =.=''

I hope God's new kingdom comes quick. At this point, the Humans are beyond help. The Ga-Men is corrupt. The Politeeshens are idiots and law exists to protect the bad people. Mou Ngan Tai.

Life SUCKS!!!

Hypocrites

Dictionary.com defines Hypocrite as...

hyp⋅o⋅crite

–noun

1.	a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

2.	a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

---

Origin:
1175–1225; ME ipocrite < class="ital-inline">hypocrita < class="ital-inline">hypokrits a stage actor, hence one who pretends to be what he is not, equiv. to hypokr(nesthai) (see hypocrisy ) + -tēs agent suffix

Related forms:

hyp⋅o⋅crit⋅i⋅cal, adjective

hyp⋅o⋅crit⋅i⋅cal⋅ly, adverb

Synonyms:
deceiver, dissembler, pretender, pharisee.

If you ask me, I'd say that hypocrites are the most despicable people in this world. The goody-two-shoes, the self-acclaimed righteous person who never acts or do what they preach. The people who thought that they are better and on higher grounds when in actual fact, they belong to the deepest-rock-bottom-pit-of-hell.

The best example I can give here are those people who chided me for cussing. Allright, I do cuss, I swear, I curse - in multiple languages in fact. So what?! At least I am honest, straightforward and direct. I don't pretend, I don't tell lies, I don't act nice at the front and then go and stab people at their backs, killing them off silently, like cowards. I don't kiss asses, I don't lick boots, and no, I don't angkat pelir. I'm 101% sure I'm better than those bitches who NEVER swear or curse but expertly manipulates people and situations into their advantages, back-stab people and "friends" alike, tell lies and God-knows how many tonnes of other horrible stuffs.

I'm proud to say that I cuss because I'm angered by the injustices that I see in daily lives. I am upset by the way some people behaves. I am perturbed that the society nowadays has degraded to such inconsiderable behaviours. I stand high and tall and I do not waver just because I called an asshole ASSHOLE and a bitch BITCH because they are what I called them, precisely.

You don't like me just because I cuss?

Then go bang your silly-mutated-retarded-sorry-excuse of a head to the wall and die already. Like FUCK I care.

Hurry up and go rot in some corner of the hell, cuz that's exactly where you belong. Geez!!!

Long absence.. and lonnnggg story...

Whoa... that's a super long absence! I'm surprised that my blog is still here.

*peeks*

By now I'd have expect it to just disappear into thin air - as most things did after a while of inactivity. Besides, it has been so long.

Well, my blogging brain is up and running again so I guess I'll start blogging, again.

I do wonder though... how long is it gonna stay this time?

What do you think? ~___^

Hopeless...

Today is probably one of the worst day of my life. Never in my life had I ever felt so hopeless. So mad. So pissed off. So speechless. So dumbfounded. Bewildered. Unbelievable.

OH MY GOD.

If only I was the one in charge.
If only I was the one in authority.
If only I was there.
If only I was given the mandate.
If only I was given the chance!

Why can't they perform?
Why can't they deliver?
Why can't they just DO what they claimed they can do?
Why can't they solve meagre, insignificant, peanut, chicken feet problems?
Why can't they think?
Why don't they think?
Why is it that they never think?
Why don't they just USE their BRAINS?!

Geeez.. someone please point a gun at me and SHOOT ME DEAD. I really mou-ngan-tai. I can't bear to see all these nonsense. Shit.

Seriously, I sincerely believe that even snails crawl faster and have better brains than these bunch of morons. UGH!!!!

My Laptop is dead...

I'm sad to announce the death of my beloved laptop. It's barely 2 years old. It has worked very very hard for me. Thus the tragic ending. =P Well.. actually it was attacked by spywares, blaster worms AND trojans. Seriously I'm still quite 'blur' about the origin of all these attacks. I've been visitting my favourite sites (paultan.org and gsmarena, among a few) when my poor poor lappy was attacked viciously by all these slimes. T_T

My poor lappy stopped breathing last night. I was really sad cause of the huge collection of anime that died together with it. Oh well, maybe I'll get it opened up tomorrow.

Am blogging thru my pda. At least I can still manage. Otherwise I'll feel really handicapped. hahaha

Blocked again?

I've got a problem. I think. I'm having problem thinking up the title for the post I'm making. Is that a sign that my brain is slacking or am I just being plain plain lazy?

=P

I don't know. I hope someone will tell me. I'd appreciate that very very much.

How's your day today? Mine is... hectic. It's frustrating to realize that no matter how tired I am, I just can't afford to divert my eyes elsewhere for even a nanosecond cuz everything starts falling apart the moment I took a breather.

T_T

That is just so so so dreadful. Wei.. I'm not a robot. I'm human also. Why can't I rest? Why can't things just fall into place for just even once? Why is it that I always have to be at the heart of things???

If I have to keep doing all those things I've been doing all these while non-stop, I'm sure my heart will stop beating at the tender age of 30s.

Both my mobile phones batteries went flat before I even reach home today. Too many calls, too many sms-es, too many updates. Does that mean I better go buy another phone? You know, to act as backup. And I have to keep at least 5 pieces of RM50 reload cards in my wallet. I once reloaded RM130 on the spot and it was still not enough. Oh dear. My pocket is emptying fast. I'll start eating grass very very soon. T_T . If my deal is not sealed. Soon. *sigh*

One of my deal is getting really close to being sealed. I hope it seals tonight. Then I can relax for a bit and maybe try and get back to my normal sleeping pattern. Damn deal is killing me. Shhh.. sorry, can't tell you what deal it is about but I assure you.. it's definitely not drugs. Hahaha.. it is a legal deal and I'm just being a bitch for not telling you. At the same time, I want to experience for myself the thrills of keeping secrets. I used to be very transparent, honest and trustworthy. The thing is, I always have to keep secrets for my friends and not the other way around. I don't have much secrets to keep anyway cause I always tell people things but at least, this time, I want to keep this a secret.

Are you dying to know what's the secret deal now?

Kekeke..

I

AM

NOT

telling

you...

^___~

Hello World II

Hi everyone. It's been a while. I mean, it's been ages. I almost forgot the existence of this blog all together. That's mean of me eh? *sigh*

Well, life has been tough. Very tough. I've been so busy working, I hardly get enough sleep anymore (do you call 3 hours sleep a day enough?) and I'm starting to feel like a zombie.

*looks back and slaps head*

I need my life back!!!

Haven't gone to cinema in a while. What's currently showing?

I think the latest movie I've watched is Wall-E. Nope. I didn't watch it in the cinema. It's not shown here yet, right? Or have I missed it? Anyway, Wall-E is cute, adorable and a romantic at heart. He sounds kinda ancient, looks ancient and feels ancient to me. But I like him for the way he is. Awww...

So, let me update you on the latest happenings in my life, kay?

• I moved to a new house. Me and my whole family. It's a huge semi-d with a huge compound. Each of us got a room of our own, except for my parents, haha. They have to share. Kekeke... Has always been a dream of ours to have a house with large compound mainly to park all those cars that we have. I ended up buying a Viva cuz my old house compound can only house 2 cars at best. Really can't imagine buying a Honda Civic just to have it parked outside. My heart will be torn into two and I'll be constantly worrying about its wellbeing. Awww...
• I quit my job. It's affecting my life cause I was so stressed and my instincts warned me that the unnecessary built-up pressure is really not worth working my ass off day in and day out. The job demand is crazy and totally impossible (only superman can do it). If I can make it possible then I may as well go open my own company. Aiseh...
• Hahaha. Talk about opening my own company! Does that mean that I can actually do what's expected of me but I didn't do it because I just don't feel like doing it? Meanie! Hahaha.. Actually I did plan to setup some sort of business. My calculations told me that the amount of time I spent slaving myself to some big boss is not worth anything because when you compare the profit margin earned by the company/big boss to the salary that they pay you, it is so meager and does not play any significance at all. If that is the case, I wanna be the boss too! I finally setup my company with a business partner. Finding a business partner is SO HARD! And I am especially happy with the Company Number cause it has all the *p.r.o.s.p.e.r.i.t.y* number inside. I hope the company really prospers. Hahaha..
• Since I setup my company I have been working on numerous deals but alas, none of them has materialized, yet. Some looks very promising but there are various other factors that control and determine the nasib of the ending. All I can do is just work hard, do my best and leave the rest to God. Hahaha.. God! Please help!!!

So, those are the major updates of my life. They seem to be nothing much but they mean a whole lot to me. Quitting my job and setting up a company is considered a very big deal to me so I'm really surprised that I actually had the guts to proceed when everything else seems so dark and uncertain. The darkness is there but I hope that whatever torchlight and candles that I bring with me is enough to guide me till the end of the tunnel. Nothing comes easy and it is even more true that nothing is free. Only God's love is free and unconditional. I mean, how many of us here can do things unconditionally? None. There is none. If you can, please enlighten me. ^___^

This post doesn't sound like me at all, eh? I'm all serious and work now. Had always been like this but didn't show much when I socialize cause I'd still show my crazy personality. Now? It's time for change. Change is good, no?

Hot spell in Kuching

Jeezzz... it has been so HOT for the past two weeks. If I pray hard enough, if all of us pray hard enough, can we have snow here please?

*bats eyes*

Purreetttyyy puuuleeeezzzzeee??

Why is it so hot???

*looks around*

Ohh.. some retards are doing open burning, AGAIN.

They never learn do they?

On the other hand, what has the enforcers do about this? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

No fines. All talk no work.

Same ol' shit.

D-y-s-f-u-n-c-t-i-o-n-a-l.

I-n-e-f-f-i-c-i-e-n-t.

I-n-c-o-m-p-e-t-e-n-t.

L-a-z-y-b-u-m-s.

R-e-t-a-r-d-s.

A-s-s-h-o-l-e-s.

Ptfff.

...

Tax : Is it worth paying?

I hate tax. I hate paying them. I mean what for? Just open your eyes wide wide and see what the government is using our hard earned money for.

Do they spend them wisely? No.

Paying hundred of millions just to buy the stupid ink from India all for the sake of a just election? Well, just my ass. I don't even see it used here. Haha. That's right. I voted and I didn't get my fingers/hands inked just to prove that I've voted. I wonder where did all those money go to???

One of the other reason that makes me so tu-lan is by sending monkey Ma into space. A so called astronut. What a waste of our damn money.

Look all around you. Do you see sampah bersepah all over the city/town? Yes. It's not clean at all. It's not presentable. Is the council doing their jobs? I saw how they do their jobs. Especially those sweepers. Instead of sweeping up the rubbish and tree leaves and whatnots, they swept it into the drainage holes by the roadside. Rubbish, leaves and everything. Don't they know that they are clogging the drains?? Nope. They have no brain cells. Their brain cells are either dead, half dead, damaged beyond repair, malfunctioned or MIA (Missing In Action). The least we can do is sympathize at them.

Instead, what did the government do when there's flash flood? What exactly did our leaders say when asked for comments about those floods?

*opens ears wide wide*

*turns volume up loud loud*

The engineers should do a better job at designing the road.

Oh sweet Lord. Please bury some wisdom into those half-brained assholes, even if it is just a speck of dust. Obviously, they are retards. I have no respects for retards. I can't, for the life of me, respect people with monkey brains, donkey brains and whatever it is that they have in their brains. Perhaps they are showing early symptoms of Parkinson disease? Brain damage at birth?

Shouldn't they be looking at those smart sweepers, or the so-called council workers? Why don't they go and dig out all those rubbish that they have plugged into the holes. Why don't they go and check if the road has been constructed in accordance to approved engineering drawings or not? Why don't they go and check whether the job was actually awarded to qualified Contractors who actually know their shits or not? Why don't they go and check and see with their own shit-plastered-eyes what exactly is going on?

Tell me again, why on earth do I have to pay tax that will be used to ensure that these fucked-up-pieces-of-good-for-nothings stay alive through the hardest and darkest moments of their pathetic lives???

I am no saint. And I refuse to be a saint for them donkeys. But rules are rules. Although it is very tempting to break them. Shall I?

Oh damn it. I still haven't fill in that forsaken Tax form. The root of all evil. Evil things are done because they know that there are money. Money comes from citizen. Whether it is hard earned or robbed, it is still money. And money is the root of all evil. Why can't they issue the fucking rule that ensures robbers to fill in the goddamn Tax form too? Robber is a form of profession. Come on dude, they did their jobs too. So why the fuck aren't they taxed? They live here, they breath the same air we do, they do their jobs, they get their money, and yet they are roaming free out there, spending as they wish, enjoying their motherfucking lives much more than we do, and they don't even have to pay the cheebye tax.

And even if they managed to get caught, the government is using our tax money to feed these motherfuckers in jail. Yep. Free nasi kari + drinks + room + transport. And whether the fuel price goes up or not, they are still fed.

We paid so much, and yet we don't feel safe. Crime rate is shooting up like there's no tomorrow. Everyday, people suffers and some dies. Murder cases. Amok cases. Robberies and rape cases.

Do you see our good policemen patrolling the cities and residential areas? Nope. I see them at kopitiam-s. Minum kopi. Taking their sweet time enjoying the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Or I see them hiding at some dark corners of the road. You and I both know what they are up to lar. Especially if it's near the mid or end of the month.

And before I forget, the numbers of fake policeman are rising as well. It doesn't matter if you know law or not. It doesn't matter if you know your rights or not. All it takes is for them to round you up, and scare you shitless into giving them whatever it is that they want, and they will escape, unhurt. Roaming around, freerer than birds. The same won't happen to you though. You'll be lucky if you're not hurt in the process. The law doesn't give a damn even if you get hurt in such cases. And if you hurt them(the baddies) in self defense, somehow the law will manage to come back and bite you at your butt faster than the law can go bite their nuts. Why? There is no justice lar. Justice my ass. You nailed them in self defense, then they will later on come back and haunt you: How come you have this in your house? Then you'll be facing charges of "mempunyai senjata berbahaya" shitty stories. And then your butt will be chewed and chewed till there is no more to chew and then they will move to your bones.

And oh, this is a bit out of topic, but I really can't help but marvel at paikia-s. Sometimes. I believe they are doing better jobs than police. I believe that they can do better jobs than police. Esp in terms of people tracking and investigation works. You won't believe their networkings man. And they are better equipped and more knowledgeable than the law enforcers.

Man. The world is indeed fucked up. Our government is fucked up. Our leaders are fucked up. Our systems are fucked up. Did I miss anything? What else are fucked up? What else aren't?

Tu-lan nye. Ma-deh.

-___-''

Maybe I should change my profession. Perhaps I should quit. Join mafia is better. Anything with power is better. Aiii...

Damn sien. I'm seriously disappointed. Words can't even begin to describe how I actually feel right now.

Pttfff...

Nim's Island

Just came back from watching Nim's Island. It's entertaining all right, but to be really frank, this could have been better if it's fully animated instead of being done ala live action movie. Has it been done otherwise, I'm sure the magic and charm will work its way into the hearts of the viewers and leave a longer, lasting impressions than... what it currently does now.

But...

But but but... I really enjoyed the animals' cute, adorable AND funny behaviours! I especially love Fred (the lizard or was it iguana? Okok, I think it's a lizard; It's cheeky, kay-poh demeanor really adds a twist of fun in whatever situation it is in..) and the turtle (I'm a BIG fan of turtles, don't ask me why.) I also luv the scene where Fred climbed onto the turtle's head (at the opening of the movie) which irritates the turtle so much *snickers*

Oh, you'll hear Nim's (Abigail Breslin) voice narrating about how those two enjoyed irritating one another. Haha

Ok. Back on track. I concentrated too much on the animals. I mean, it's not everyday you see a sea lion that knows how to play football, a lizard that enjoys being catapulted into the enemy's zone, trying to act like a flying dragon, and a pelican by the name of Galileo, that happens to know just about everything a person needs in every situation. Yep. Sounds too good to be true eh?

The real story of Nim's Island is this : It's a secluded world, secretly owned (or at least they swear that they owned it) by only Nim and her father, Jack Rusoe (Gerard Butler) - a famous scientist or a marine microbiologist to be exact, who's so crazy about the one celled microorganism (I forgot what it's called) that his life revolves around it. It appears that he loses interest in whatever thing that has more than one cell (except his deceased wife and Nim). He's also a writer who occassionally writes in National Geographic about his fantastic little volcano in that tiny little island of his.

They built this amazing hut-like home, complete with electricity (solar powered) and internet connection (satellite linked). Nim grows up there learning everything about the nature through her own observations and interactions with the animals, and anything else (science, history and fictions) through endless supplies of books and internet and from her father. Her close friends includes Fred (the lizard), Galileo (the pelican) and ummm.. what's-its-name? (the sea lion).

And oh, they got their supplies of food and whatnots from a monthly supply ship, which I suppose is the ONLY ship that knows the exact location of the island.

Nim adores and worships Alex Rover, a hero who's very Indiana Jones-alike, born from Alexandra Rover's (Jodie Foster) wild figment of imagination. Alexandra Rover is one helpless agoraphobic writer who excels in writing. Does that make sense? Oh. In case you don't know, agoraphobic means she's agoraphobia : an abnormal fear of being in crowds, public places, or open areas, sometimes accompanied by anxiety attacks. She can't even get herself to open her apartment's door into the outside world. My goodness. Perhaps her confinement in her apartment gives birth to such vivid, wild and wonderful-totally out of this world imagination? Perhaps that's why she can write so well, express herself so well. She's so successful that she has her novels being translated into 62 (did I get it right?) different languages, sold worldwide. So successful, and yet so weird?

I can't help but shaking my head in disbelief among the fits of laughter while watching Jodie Foster's frantic, murderously dangerous comedy acts. Never has it crossed my mind that she can do comedy. And believe me, it doesn't sit well in my mind. I'm so used to her doing the full action-packed movies that watching her doing comedy is like watching Jim Carrey fully transforming himself into a Terminator. It's just way too opposite.

Oh well. To cut a long story short, Alex Rover found out that she has indeed been exchanging emails with a 11-year old Nim, whom she's mistaken to be Jack Rusoe's assistant, who's left all alone in the island when her father went out in search of his one celled microorganism and was stranded somewhere with a badly damaged boat and constantly being helped out by Galileo, the pelican. Alex somehow embarked on a journey to go and save Nim, only to be turned away when Nim found out that she's a woman instead of a he. By the way, Nim's the one who saved Alex when she's about to drown.

Jack somehow managed to go back to Nim safely. He met Alex, it's love at first sight, and the rest is left to your imagination. How does that sound to you?

My verdict? It's an okay movie. At least, it's better than Jumper. At least, I'm enthralled by the animals antics and Abigail Breslin's wonderful performance. I can't believe she's born in 1996. She's so petite and well, I really believed she's a 11-year old. Gerard Butler did a somewhat okay job as Jack Rusoe and also Alex Rover. I must be so blur because I didn't know both roles were done by him until I checked and double checked just now. Jodie Foster? I like her better in anything other than comedy. Her comedy acts are laughable, but it's just so unlike her. THAT just won't sit still in my mind no matter how much I adore her.

My ratings? I give it a 7 out of 10. If you are an adult with a childlike imagination, you'll somehow enjoy this movie. Old folks too will enjoy it, I believe. If you're a kid, you'll definitely enjoy it. If you're a pure adult, then this movie will probably sucks big time so you better not be heading to the cinema to buy the tickets for this movie.

Pssttt. Don't blame me if you don't like the movie. I'm just being frank, ok?

Worries worries worries

I hate it when my phone rings. I hate it more when it rings at odd hours. I hate it even more if the number seems suspicious.

If I ignored it, would the ringing stop?

If I ignored it, would it stop whatever godforsaken news the caller bear from reaching me?

It's just a matter of time isn't it? Whether the news is bad or good, comes late or early, I'll still have to deal with it, right?

And yep. It's bad news all right. Whatever I don't wanna hear is bad news for me. Whatever I don't welcome IS bad news for me.

Did I make the wrong decision back then? Should I take them back?

I wouldn't.

Should I turn back time, unwind everything and undone everything?

What for?

Have I screwed up big time? Did I? OMFG!!! What the hell am I supposed to do? And to think that I did, actually, spent the whole night pacing up and down in my room, without sleep till morning came. I made my decision then. I was firm with it. I refused to back down.

That you certainly did.

Has it come back to haunt me?

Perhaps...

Shit.

I wish I have some lady luck with me. I need it. No kidding.

I wish I have some support. Some advice.

I wish someone or somebody would comfort me. Console me. Be with me. By my side. Assure me that everything will be okay.

Everything will be all right...

It's not your fault. It never was... so be strong...

But what if I really made the wrong choice? At such bad timing?! Pffftt!! Things couldn't get worse than this. Wait. Maybe they could. Oh fuck.

I hate dilemmas. I hate problems. I hate being strong. I hate being tough. I hate being in control. Cause that means making decisions. And if I made the wrong decisions, I'm seriously as good as dead.

What's the use of being the best troubleshooter if I can't solve my own damn problems?

*hopelessness*

*emptiness*

The darkness is all around me. Sometimes, I feel like falling apart. Perhaps permanent malfunction sounds like a good idea after all.

But no. I'm too prideful for that. I'll never go down that path if I can help it.

But really, I'm so tired. So so tired. Tired of the struggles. Tired of works and relationships. Tired of the relentless squabbles, the stupidity of the people that I encounter and deal with, the endless arguments, the senseless talks, the unnecessary pressures from all directions, the sky high expectations. I'm tired of everything. Today, I feel like breaking down, letting the darkness and hopelessness swallowing me alive. Engulfing me in the never-ending suffocation. The feeling of utter helplessness. My energy is draining out. My flames nearly put out for good.

Dear God. What have I done to deserve such endless torrents of onslaught? Enough already. I'm at my limit. I can take no more.

Just let me rest, okay?

I hope tomorrow never comes...

*crawls into bed*

New Template!

I finally find myself a new template! I found it here. Oh I'm so happy! Zillion thanks to veerublog and infocreekblog. I'll put up the credits in my blog later on.

So, readers... what do you think of my blog's new look? Go on. Keep the comments coming in!

Are they morons or what?

I took some time off to accompany my mum to the bank today. We went to MayBank, since it's the nearest bank to our house. I've been wanting to open a savings account for my mum since AGES ago. Among the reasons are:-

• my dad has MayBank account
• my sisters have MayBank accounts
• I have MayBank account
• easier transactions (especially when my dad and I are travelling)
• it's a pain in the ass giving money to mum. Just bank it in, then she can't protest anymore, can she?
• to save money lor. What the heck. It's for saving purposes, right?

Guess what? The ah moi in charge of opening the savings account for my mum asked us several irrelevant, unbelievably stupid questions:-

Stupid ah moi : Why are you opening a savings account?
Me : o.O
Mum : O.O
Me : I beg your pardon?
Stupid ah moi : Why are you opening a savings account? (She has this bizarre shocked look on her stupid face)
Me : (With a very straight face) Answer me honestly please. What ELSE can you do with a savings account??!
Stupid ah moi : Errm... transferring commission you earned or something?
Me : How the hell does that make your question relevant??! Can we open the #$%#@ SAVINGS account or what?
Stupid ah moi : Yes of course.
Me : Then ? What's your problem?

My mum chastised me for answering the lady so rudely. The point is, MY POINT is.. what the fuck is she asking? Of course you open a savings account to save your money. Doesn't the name implies that?? What other fucking thing can you do with it? Fuck it with money?!

Really. I can't believe the ways those geniuses think. They must have short-circuited or something. Kanneh. This is like asking people "Eh, why do you breath ar?" Oii tolol. If I don't breath I'll die what. Kanneh. Where's your fucking brain? You eat shit and you shit rice is it???!!

--------------

The above incident reminded me of my experience with the stupid bankers in UK back in my Uni years. One of them is this:-

Me : I want to close my savings account. Here are the documents.
Stupid moron banker : Do you want to take out all your money?

And he proceeded to stare at me lovingly. Which sent my blood boiling over 100 degrees. And all hell broke loose. Volcanoes erupted and the goddamn jerk was blown into thin air.

Me : OF COURSE I'M TAKING OUT ALL OF MY MONEY. WHO WOULDN'T WHEN THEY CLOSE THEIR BANK ACCOUNTS? ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? YOU FUCKED UP OR SOMETHING??? ARE YOU HIGH ON DRUGS?????

I remembered myself asking him those questions very very loudly and that earned me surprised looks from all the people inside the bank.

Stupid moron banker : Hey chill. I'm just asking okay...
Me : That's a FUCKING STUPID QUESTION okay! Do I look like an idiot??! Do you even know how to do the paperworks? Are you qualified to handle the job??!!

That embarrassed him no end. His face brightened to a shade of red brick and his supervisor was on his way over when he hurriedly went over and convinced him that everything is under control.

Shit.

Seriously. I believe they grow up eating shit, and when they shit, they shit out gold. What a wonderful world!

Friends normally call their friends by their names. Mine calls me by my surname. Most if not all.

It doesn't matter how many times I told them to call me by my name. It applies to colleagues as well.

They always ended up calling me by my surname.

To be more precise, they call me "Miss [my surname]".

I've given up wondering why. I got fed up with it.

Am I unfriendly?

What? My name doesn't suit me?

Why is it so hard for them to call my name?

Am I so unapproachable?

Do I bite?

Damn.

My Perfect Major

I find it hard to believe, but heck, I scored a 100% in Engineering. Does that mean I'd somehow, chosen the right path years ago?? >.<

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Philosophy You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence. Engineering 100% Philosophy 100% Mathematics 83% Linguistics 75% Anthropology 75% English 75% Psychology 75% Theater 75% Journalism 67% Art 67% Sociology 67% Dance 58% Chemistry 58% Biology 50%

Catching up or not??

Yo! Just popped in to tell you all that I'm still alive and kicking. ^_~

And yep. I do remember my promise on updating you guys on what happened during my absense. I'll just start writing and relate to them once in a while, okay?

And gosh! It's Tuesday already! One more day and it will be Public Holidays.

I can't wait for the holidays to arrive. With Thursday being Prophet Muhammad's birthday (did I get this right?) and Friday being a Good Friday, followed closely by Saturday and Sunday spells good news for me. Four straight days off work. I really can't wait.

I need my rest. Preeetttyyy badly.

I know I work too much. Too hard. Non-stop in fact. One flip of my diary and you'll notice that I have the entire month of March marked black, blue and red with pens and highlighters. That sounds bad enough? No it's not. I had it worse with all the bloody last minute cancellations by damn shitty clients. Cancellations, postpones, rebooking and all the hassle of rescheduling.

I beh tahan anymore.

Yesterday, I literally exploded over one petty issue. Yes. It's a petty issue. I won't dwell on the details, but the fact is, I can't stand ppl messing up on petty issues. It's so simple, there's no hassle, the person doing it doesn't have much work to do at all, and tell me please, how can they messed it up?

I can understand it if they messed up due to work overloads, but trust me, this fellow just sits there swinging her feet from side to side 7/24. I'm frigging amazed that she managed to screw up. And there she was, in my room, seeking empathy.

Guess what I did?

I opened fire.

Don't get me wrong ppl. If I empathized her, that won't be the last of it. There shall be 2nds, and thirds and more and more after that. I can't afford it, really.

Besides, whatever she does, it's slowing my progress and dragging me down. I hate that the most! I don't want my performance to be stalled by an incompetent fool who's wise enough to mess up especially at such a vital moment!

Aside from that, I had quite a good day yesterday. It was somebody's birthday and we ended up getting free lunch and dinner. The good food somehow calms me down emotionally but alas, in the dieting department it's really a big NO NO.

Oh by the way, have I told you that I managed to slim down? I'm not as fat as I used to be, but I still haven't reached my ideal weight and waistline of 2 years back. Gotta do more exercises.

Although I'd like to rant more, I guess I can't because my work is piling up. I'll probably peek in again tonight if I feel like it and my mood is good.

Till then, you'll have to go by with just these as updates. Have a good day everyone!

Happy Golden Rat Year

Happy New Year everyone! *burns firecrackers*

So, how's your CNY celebration this year? Meriah or not? Got lotsa Ang Pows or not? NICE or not?

Me? Sorry people. I've totally vaporized from the Blogosphere for close to half a year. Just one month short and it'll be cun cun half a year. Do you miss me? Did you? Hmmm... It's good to have one less person who complaints as much as I do in the world, right? At least, it won't spoil your mood at all. See? I played such an insignificant part in this world. *sigh*

But but but...!! I've decided to continue complaining/blogging again.. Ain't that a bad news? Hahaha!

I'll tell you what happened during my absence from the Blogosphere but let's save that part for later okay?

Till then, please enjoy your CNY. I'll blog more some other day.

Ciao!

no blog posts for a while

Hello everybody. This shall be a short announcement. I have decided to stop blogging for a while. I dunno for how long though. It could be days, weeks, months. It could be years.

Reasons being:-

- my gastric has worsened to the point that if I'm given a choice to make over life and death, I'll choose death
- I'm battling my overweight problem
- I'm tired all the time
- I can barely keep up, AND
- I'm hitting depression mode

So yeah, there won't be any updates for a while.

Not until I fixed myself.

*Runs all over the place hunting annoyingly noisy stray dogs and cats for massacre*

Ahhh... that feels better! *evil laughs*

Sorry for making you guys wait.

And thanks for your support all these while.

May God Bless Ya.

Amen.