Please lar Streamyx, RIP!!! No one will miss you!

I woke up in confusion this morning because some morons disrupt my sleep 8++ in the morning. The first thing I saw when I opened my front door is the TM's van. Then realization hit me : Uh.. so there wasn't any prob with the port?

You see, last night I couldn't browse at all. I was connected but cannot browse. My modemn was fine but browser showed Loading loading loading... Tried for several hours still cannot load, then eventually I called 100 to complain. The lady in charge checked things for me and then confirmed that my port was down. I suspected it was the port because I checked with my friends who live within the vicinity and they do not have browsing problem. Ok. Port prob verified. Here's what ensued from the conversation with the TM's customer service 'officer' :-

Me: So it's a port prob?
TM: Yes. Your port is down. That's why you cannot surf.
Me: When can they fix it?
TM: I'll send technicians over tomorrow to check. It's too late now, cannot check.
Me: Check port ka?
TM: Yeah. Port.
Me: Where's the port?
TM: Kuching.
Me: Kuching where?
TM: ...
Me: Where's THE port?
TM: Erm..

(By this time, I was so irked, I understand how 'ignorant' people can be, so I kindly supplied an EXAMPLE)

Me: My house??
TM: No no no. Not your house.
Me: This port prob, is it my prob or TM's prob?
TM: TM's prob. Port is inside the server. Server is TM's, so it's TM prob.
Me: How long would it take?
TM: ...
Me: When can I use my internet???
TM: Cannot say.
Me: ... !@%#@%%&%#%$#@%!!!!!!!
TM: Anything else?
Me: Please fix it, otherwise I potong line lar. Tulan!

You'd think that's the end of the story right? Nope. The technician came, without calling, no appointments, no manner, acting as if I owed them a lifetime of debt. They were on their way into my house when I stopped them and asked them:-

Me: You checked the port already?
TM technician: What port?
Me: What are you here for?
TM technician: Check your stuffs.
Me: The lady last nite told me she'll send you guys to check the port. Have you checked the port?
TM technician: Check your house first then we go check port lar.
Me: I cannot let you in.
TM technician: Then we go lar.

Aiyah... go lar go lar. Ma cheebye. Come uninvited still wanna act macho and heroic. Bo-kah-see some more. Ptui!!!!!

I called 100 again and this time, the lady in charge (damn sombong some more) insisted that their technicians are the best when I complained about their competencies in their jobs. She couldn't answer me when I asked her why were they at my house and not checking the port at their server. She couldn't answer me regarding the procedures in these matter. She couldn't answer me anything. And she had the nerve to ask me what else I want. I want you damn assholes at TM to do your fucking job!

I tried browsing after that and luckily I could browse. Went to streamyx website, read on their troubleshooting shits, customer services shits and Fair Usage Policy shits. When I tried to summit a complaint, the site won't budge. So I e-mailed them the following. Guess what. I did not get a reply from them and my line works beautifully throughout the day without interruptions whatsoever. Kanneh Streamyx. You really enjoy being tiaw huh????

******************************************
PORT problem (URGENT)

From: "xxxxxxxxxxxxx"

To: complaints@tm.com.my

Cc: help@tm.com.my
~~~~~~~~~~~

I went here http://www.tm.com.my/contact/forms/complaint.asp
just now and filled in the form and found that I cannot summit it. Can you tell me why I cannot summit it??? So I resorted to e-mail.

11/9/2009
Sender's Full Name
Sender's Full IC No.
Sender's e-mail address
Sender's landline No.

Complaints :

I've been having problem browsing internet for several months and lately, it was so ridiculous I cannot stand it anymore. I checked your troubleshooting site and found that I have no problem with faulty telephone lines (my line is good), wrong hardware set up (my hardware is set up properly cause it can definitely browse), modemn (cause I'm not having connection prob, my prob is I cannot browse!!), OS network configuring system (my Primary DNS: 202.188.0.133 and Secondary DNS: 202.188.1.5 which are both correct), antivirus/anti-spyware/anti-adware software from time to time (my antivirus & anti-spyware are up to date), incorrect browser configuration (no proxy setting and no default dialler), invalid login id or password (my id and password are working just fine).

It took me ages (few mins to few hours) just to load a page at times. I cannot check e-mails too or login to facebook.

I suspect the prob is a port prob so I called 100 last nite to check and the lady verified that the port at TM's server was down. I asked her why is it down she said dunno. I asked whether that is prob at MY side or SERVER side she said Server. Said she'll send technicians to check on the port the next morning.

Since it is obviously the port prob, then your technician should work on the port at your server. But no, they came early this morning, without calling whatsoever and demanded to check my house system. When I asked whether they have checked the port, they said they wanna check my house FIRST before checking the port. Since it was confirmed through your system checking at 100 last nite that your port was down, why don't you go check on your port first? Is TM trying to be funny in providing its services? Or are your technicians trying to be funny? I refused them entrance into my house because I do not trust them.

I am very disappointed with the way TM handles this. You do not solve problem but instead beat around the bush and try to do it the long winding difficult ways that inconvenienced the customers.

What Fair Usage Policy? I can't browse at all most of the times. Let alone download things.

Please bear in mind I'm not having connection prob. I AM CONNECTED. I just cannot load pages. CANNOT BROWSE. Just blanks. Sometimes can browse (half an hour or 1 to 2 hours, then cannot load at all. If I get lucky, I can browse, but VERY VERY VERY SLOW. SLOWER than dial-up connection!). Don't try to be funny with me : I know you can check everything from your server so go and do your work. I've checked everything so why don't you do your share. Go check your port please. Fix it. I'm paying every month to browse. I do not pay NOT TO browse. Get it? If you cannot solve this, forget it. I'll close account. End of story!

p/s : Your customer service at 100 was lousy. You think keeping quiet can solve prob? That your prob will disappear into thin air? And she insisted that the technicians are the best. If best then why give funny story? She just said need to check check check. By the time you finish checking when would that be? Months???? They don't know why the port is down and they wanna check my end? They cannot tell me why the port is down but they are the best technicians? What a great service. You have something funnier to tell me?? I can't wait. Enlighten me. I wanna see your reply.

Thank you.

From,
Very Irritated Customer
******************************************

Screwed!!!

OMG!!!! My Page Element has gone nuts!!! What am I to do??!!!??? What happened to it during my absence? I can't even re-arrange anything!!!!

Are they morons or what?

I took some time off to accompany my mum to the bank today. We went to MayBank, since it's the nearest bank to our house. I've been wanting to open a savings account for my mum since AGES ago. Among the reasons are:-

• my dad has MayBank account
• my sisters have MayBank accounts
• I have MayBank account
• easier transactions (especially when my dad and I are travelling)
• it's a pain in the ass giving money to mum. Just bank it in, then she can't protest anymore, can she?
• to save money lor. What the heck. It's for saving purposes, right?

Guess what? The ah moi in charge of opening the savings account for my mum asked us several irrelevant, unbelievably stupid questions:-

Stupid ah moi : Why are you opening a savings account?
Me : o.O
Mum : O.O
Me : I beg your pardon?
Stupid ah moi : Why are you opening a savings account? (She has this bizarre shocked look on her stupid face)
Me : (With a very straight face) Answer me honestly please. What ELSE can you do with a savings account??!
Stupid ah moi : Errm... transferring commission you earned or something?
Me : How the hell does that make your question relevant??! Can we open the #$%#@ SAVINGS account or what?
Stupid ah moi : Yes of course.
Me : Then ? What's your problem?

My mum chastised me for answering the lady so rudely. The point is, MY POINT is.. what the fuck is she asking? Of course you open a savings account to save your money. Doesn't the name implies that?? What other fucking thing can you do with it? Fuck it with money?!

Really. I can't believe the ways those geniuses think. They must have short-circuited or something. Kanneh. This is like asking people "Eh, why do you breath ar?" Oii tolol. If I don't breath I'll die what. Kanneh. Where's your fucking brain? You eat shit and you shit rice is it???!!

--------------

The above incident reminded me of my experience with the stupid bankers in UK back in my Uni years. One of them is this:-

Me : I want to close my savings account. Here are the documents.
Stupid moron banker : Do you want to take out all your money?

And he proceeded to stare at me lovingly. Which sent my blood boiling over 100 degrees. And all hell broke loose. Volcanoes erupted and the goddamn jerk was blown into thin air.

Me : OF COURSE I'M TAKING OUT ALL OF MY MONEY. WHO WOULDN'T WHEN THEY CLOSE THEIR BANK ACCOUNTS? ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? YOU FUCKED UP OR SOMETHING??? ARE YOU HIGH ON DRUGS?????

I remembered myself asking him those questions very very loudly and that earned me surprised looks from all the people inside the bank.

Stupid moron banker : Hey chill. I'm just asking okay...
Me : That's a FUCKING STUPID QUESTION okay! Do I look like an idiot??! Do you even know how to do the paperworks? Are you qualified to handle the job??!!

That embarrassed him no end. His face brightened to a shade of red brick and his supervisor was on his way over when he hurriedly went over and convinced him that everything is under control.

Shit.

Seriously. I believe they grow up eating shit, and when they shit, they shit out gold. What a wonderful world!

losing respect in guys, especially engineers

I just got back an hour ago from a site visit. The very much promised site visit with my company's constractor. The moment I reached the site though, I felt nothing but a pang of disappointment. I totally lost respect for the Engineer (let's call him EJ) who's supposed to man the site there.

What? I've gone to take care of other sites (fully relieved that the EJ is going to take care of the site here) for two weeks and I came back to a total ruins.

The things (some called it Scope of Work) that EJ's supposed to cover on the site has been totally neglected.

The site looked worse than before. Before that it looked okay. Acceptable. Now? *shakes head*

And a reliable source reported to me that EJ has not gone to the site for close to a week.

I confirmed this too because whenever I called him for the past few days and asked him where was he, the answer is always "At home...".

Either that, or he never answers my phone calls. Never replied my sms.

*rolls eyes*

I asked him why didn't he go to site or office and I get the silent treatment. No explanation. No excuses. No reasons. Just silence.

THAT's one of the reason why I can't accept Engineers as my boyfriend (not that I want him to be my bf, he's old, he's dark, he's ugly, and he's married . As friend (to a certain extend) yes, but boyfried - no. Potential husband? BIG NO NO!

MOST of them are NOT gentlement in ANY way. They excelled in being totally irresponsible and can score 101% in cheating, lying and boasting competition.

Number 1 male chauvinist pigs. Yeah they are always right. Yeah nobody can prove them wrong. And yeah, they have the ultimate say.

*S-P-A-T!!*

If they are none of the above, then they are plain plain stupid.

Only a precious 3% of them are the kind, nice, gentlements that they are. Fully responsible, friendly, easily adapting to surroundings and very cooperative...

Back to reality though,...

AND he dares to tell everybody that it's my job to be full time on site. He stated ever so loudly that HIS job is to sit in the office.

O.o

OMG! OMG! OMFG!!!!!

Guys. Tidak tahu malu punye binatang (translate : animals who know no shame). So bloody thick faced.

Should I send him back to Philippine?? Because other than lazing around, boasting and pushing reponsibilities to every possible directions, I don't see him doing anything worth mentioning. At all.

*breathes in deeply... deeply... deeper still...*

Oooo... a challenge eh?

*evil grins*

It's about time. I've been bored half dead without any interesting "happenings".

Hn. I'm contemplating two things :

1) write formal letter to his boss and cc to mine, or

2) write a full length report and submit them to my boss and his boss and then cc to anybody else with enough perks / interests to read...

... spicy... should be. Right?

It's HIS job to take care of the site. Transfer of technology so as to speak. He knows all the specification. Supposedly. I've been told he's the expert. He's supposed to help us setup the site. So, how can you setup the site by being absent from it?

My job? My job is to check on him. To make sure he's not slacking off. That he's really giving us the very much needed input. My job is to tell him the norms of how we get things done here. The procedures. The proper channels to go for in order to get things done. The various government departments and agencies involved. My job is to prepare the countless paper works and frigging documentations needed to get the goddamn things done.

His job? Providing input. And he has the audacity to tell people that I should be on site? Do I need to be on site if I can't give input? It's his job! HIS job! To teach my underlings how to get things done. To train them. My job is to monitor them!

Fuck him. All of them got their priorities wrong - including his moron of a boss and his colleagues. They got their pictures, their BIG PICTURES painted upside down!

I'm sooo tempted to start a full fledge war. It'll be interesting to see their reactions. I can't wait. And even as I'm typing now, I can't help but thinking and considering the things that I should put in the report. *giddy*

Yeah. I'm bad. That much I admit. So don't fucking mess with me!

p/s : An advice from me to all guys out there. If you don't know how to do your things, don't act as if you know. And even if you know your stuffs, don't EVER end up bullying girls. Because only low life losers and filthy sscums do that. Where's your honor as a man huh? Where the fuck is it?! Fucking losers. Yeah. You're one mother fucking loser if you've ever done any of those stuffs mentioned above. Pushing responsibilities away. Lying. Cheating. Double standards. Biased. Acting that you're always right. Never admiting your mistakes. (Gosh!The damn list is endless! Grrr..)

stupid questions...

My aunt called at 5 PM just now when I was sleeping in the hotel.

*mobile phone rings*

Me : Hello? *VERY sleepy voice*

Aunt : Hello?! Eh, where are you?

Me : In the hotel. Sleeping.

Aunt : Oh. What are you doing there?

Me : -___-'' Sleeepppiinnngggg...

Aunt : Oh. Why you didn't come today? You told me you'd come today.

Me : All my activities were cancelled. No transport. Can't go. I'll call you once I rescheduled everything, kay...

Aunt : Oh... Where are you ar?

Me : ....

Truth be told, I was sooo goddamn pissed. Annoyed. All of a sudden, I didn't feel sleepy at all. I was wide awake. Her questions pissed me off. I was sooo bloody prompted... no, TEMPTED to ask her

Wei!!! Your ears got stuck inside your assholes issit?!!! Why the fuck you can't listen properly??!

But no. Instead, I told her in a slightly annoyed voice ...

Me : Aiyahhhh... told you liao I'm in the hotel sleeeeping!

Aunt : Okokok. Bye..

You say lar. You say lar. Stupid or not? I fucking can't stand them. I hate answering stupid questions. Kanneh. I so wanna cut them fucking lines! Tiu niamah!

Boring day : Cancelled meeting, rescheduled site visit...

Today sucks. The meeting's been cancelled. Even the site visit (my only survival hope from total boredom) was cancelled at the last minute too because the contractor went missing. I'm freaking pissed of calling anybody today. Most of my calls today either went unanswered or went straight into voice mails. Fuck voice mails. And fuck them for not answering. And fuck them for their busy tones.

And fuck blogger too. It took me two fucking days just to log on. Goddamn it. What the fuck is going on? Practically everything went wrong. Geezzz. Fuck!

There aren't any movies worth watching showing in the cinema too.

My friends are all busy busy busy. Working. Jaga anak. Traveling. Attending courses.

For those who aren't busy, I'm damn paiseh in calling them out. Later on ppl salah faham. Then all hell break lose. Tiu.

So, with my blood boiling all over my body, I went to bed. Slept myself dizzy. Until my aunt woke me up, with a stupid phone call. Asking loads of stupid questions that irritate me further.

What's the matter with people nowadays? And what's the matter with me? Have I gone nuts?

I'm bored out of my life and I simply can't stand conversing with total idiots. They ruin my day. They fucking ruin my day. AND... talking about idiots, I had the miserable misfortune of talking with a downright jerk last week. The conversation goes like this:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me : Help me to buy two cartons of milk. Got special offer now. RM2.99 per carton. Normal price RM3.20.

Idiot : What flavour?

Me : Milk. Fernleaf. Yellow box. Neh, the ones I bought together with you that day one aaa...

Idiot : What flavour?

Me : ... Milk lar!

Idiot : I know. What flavour you want? Got two flavour you know.

Me : Of coz I know! The other is chocolate. I want milk. MILK!

Idiot : What flavour??

Me : KNN CCB you fucking moron!!! I told you I want milk. MILK! Which part of that you didn't fucking understand?!!!! Are you of the Ma decendants or what? MCB why the fuck are you so stupid!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have many many many experiences with idiots. Dunce. I'll write and post them up if blogger behaves later on. Go and find them up at Dialogue. If you want to read them that is.

For now, I'll just stay in the hotel and eat cheese cakes, drink lotsa heavily caffeined coffee, watch the stupid box, listen to jerks screaming their lungs out and try to sleep.

Conclusion of today : Sucks. Horrible. I've had better days. I've seen better days. Geezzz...

Bad day...

Today is one of those days most people dread the most. At least, I do. Dread them days like this.

It started off beautifully. So beautiful that you'd think to yourself... I love being alive...

Then, bad things started pouring in one after another. Nah, it's a beautiful day. I don't mind one or two bad things.

Then more and more shits started pouring in and it's actually aimed at your face. Fuck *starts to lose patience*

Next came the biggest, worst, slimiest shits you'd ever imagined in that slimy small tight head of yours. Then you'd go OMG... fuck fuck fuck

Fuck (multiply that by 1000 to the power of eternity)

I felt like I've just fell down from the top of Mount Everest and landed on a huge pile of cow dung. Ugh!!!

Ok ok. The story is this. I accomplished something major tasks today and I felt good about it. I was on cloud 9. I felt useful. I felt great. Awesome.

Before I had enough time to soak in my accomplishments though, I get one after another weird calls. All meant trouble. Suddenly, problems just popped out of nowhere and they kept coming in fast.

I didn't have enough ears to listen to the laments of these poor souls and of course, I don't have enough mouth to calm or soothe them or provide solutions for them and DAMN RIGHT I only have one brain and I can't think or listen to 3 phone calls at the same time, process all the frigging problems and come up with a solution for each of those goddamn problems as if I'm some awesome professor working at one of the most prestigious Universities in the world.

WHAT . A . FUCKING. DAY.

I'm beat. I feel totally useless. I wish I'm Superman or Wonder Woman. Just so I can fix things on my own without needing any other assholes help or support or cooperation. Fuck team work!

I hate works that need team members. I hate depending on people. I hate those goddamn mother-fuckers who dunno their roles and can't differentiate a dick from a boob.

I hate morons.

AND...

I hate today.

stay in Sibu

My stay in Sibu is... how should I put it. Tiring? Yeah. Although I hate to admit that, it's true. Tiring.

I spent whole day at the site, or outside, running all over the places.

That includes flying. On a helicopter. Sounds cool? Yeah. Cool. In between the heli rides and dining at expensive exclusive places, being able to order absolutely anything I want at whim, and getting to know all the VIPs out there, it amaze me how upset still I am.

I'm still upset that they haven't given me the laptop and mobile phone and car that they'd promised me.

As angry and pissed as I am with this, I still manage to suppress my anger somewhat (miraculously) because I found out the reason why they were unable to do that. My God. *slaps forehead*

Everything is in such a mess. No wonder they are willing to hire me at such high price. They expect me to just swing my wand and poof! All the problems are solved. Gone into thin air. Vanished!

Ma-deh. As if that is possible. And to think that I have to give 3 months notice to resign. To be honest, I'm close to resigning. Again. I hate this miserable "chess" game. Either you lose or you win. Such bloody tiring game.

Patience. Patience. I need them now. Patience. Loads. More than you can imagine.

I'm wee bit close to calling my boss and bombed him this morning. Yeah. Those of you who knows me in person KNOWS that I'll do that whenever I'm pissed and that I won't give a fuck who's at the receiving end. And yeah. I woke up at the wrong side of the bed. I woke up angry. I woke up upset. And super pissed after making several important deciding calls back to HQ in Kuching.

FUCK! The first big four lettered foul word of the day. It's my word of the day.

Kanneh comes 2nd.

Cheebye comes 3rd.

As much as I want to curse, I hate to admit that my vocabulary on foul words are super limited.

Conclusion is : I'm not even good in cursing. Loser. Lame. Tiu.

So, instead of going to the site, I've locked myself inside the hotel room, enjoying the air cond, the coffee, the tv, the music, and the joy of surfing and blogging all in one go. Oh, with great Sibu town scenery too.

Have I mentioned that I bought a laptop? It's mine. Not the company ones. I've been wanting to buy one for quite some time now. Finally got it. Everything's fabulous. Except the bloody keyboard though. It's not responsive. I can't repeatedly type two continuous letter at one go. The letters just won't come out. So it's kinda annoying for me cause I type super fast. Average 70-80 words per minute. If the keyboard is nice and to my liking, I can easily reach 90 words per minute with 100% accuracy rate.

You don't believe me? Think I'm bluffing? Ask my friends. They'll smack your head and tell you "What? You don't fucking believe her? Try and have a competition with her then you MORON!"

*double whacks*

The speakers are awesome. The display is splendid. Oh. It's an Acer by the way. Aspire 4520. Cheap and fast unit. The shell is black in colour and after a while staring at it, I begin to like it. I didn't like it at first. The shape's slightly different. A little on the oval egg shape. Has curves on every corner. Everything's good and dandy. I've always liked Acer for a while now. Compared to Toshiba and NEC and Twinhead. But this unit has lousy keyboard. Fuck. Everything's good except the goddamn keyboard. Do you think I can have the keyboard changed? Better still, I'll go get a good keyboard. Kanneh.

I know. I'm babbling. Rambling. Ranting. Whatever.

I'm not in the mood to work. I'm bored. I'm pissed. I'm upset. I'm dizzy. The combination of all these produces:-

bored + pissed + upset + dizzy = bad mood

When I'm in a bad mood, it means I'm suicidal. Aggressive. Super sensitive. Every little thing is wrong for me. Right now I feel like flinging the 21" tv set in my hotel room out of the huge window panes behind me.

It'll be fun to watch it crash all the way down. It'll be better if the damn stupid box managed to claim some lives down there.

I miss my water gun. If I have it now, I'll fill it up with acid and go about on a crazy shooting spree. I'm on high mood to do some massive torturing activities.

That way I'll feel better. If I feel better, I'll cool down. If I'm cool, I'll calm down. If I'm calm, then perhaps, I'll be normal. Yeah. Right now, I'm far from normal.

Looking back, I've always been in angry mood. Way too frequently. At the rate I'm going, I won't be able to make it past 35. I'll be dead before I reach mid thirties.

I'll go out for a quick survey. Then I'll come back to brood further. Maybe I'll write more later too.

mister again...

Got a phone call 2 mins ago. Another dumbass called :

Dumbass : Hello?

Me : Hello.

Dumbass : Is this Mr. [my full name]?

Me : (irritated) It's a Miss. MISS not mister!!!

Dumbass : Oh. It's Ms. [my full name] ar? Miss not Mister ar?

Me : ... Yes! Where are you calling from?
(I swear if she's in front of me, I'll strangle and shake her!!! I don't even sound like a guy!!!)

Dumbass : From the hotel they book for you. You're coming tomorrow, yes?

Me : Yes.

Dumbass : Ok. Thank youuu.

Somebody kill me quick. This world is not worth living in. It's full with idiots. First, the sub-con my Manager introduced to me called me Mr. [my surname].

Then, some of the staffs here accidentally called me Mr. They said tersasul wor.

Next, my air ticket was booked as Mr. [my full name].

Now, the fucking hotel dumbass called me Mr. [my full name] to confirm my bookings.

FUCK!!!!

Stupid conversations...stupid people...

I hate stupid conversations. AND those people without brains. With ALL my heart. Here are some examples :

Case 1

Me : Where do you wanna go for lunch?

A : Anywhere lar...

Me : What do you wanna eat?

A : Cincai lar...

Me : ...

Hello???! What's the point of talking here? It's the same as if I didn't talk/ask at all...

Case 2

Me : How much is this item?

B : RM900 something...

Me : RM900 something??? How much exactly???

B : RM900 something lar...

Me : Umm... RM900.90 also RM900 something. RM999.99 also RM900 something. So your RM900 something is how much EXACTLY ??!!!!

B : ... RM900 something lor...

Me : Do you REALLY KNOW the price OR NOT???

B : Errr... I go check

Me : ....

It doesn't make a difference whether I asked or not. I still don't get the answer to the questions I posed. What's the point of asking?


Case 3

Me : When do you want me to send you to airport?

C : Before 12.30 PM lar...

Me : ... *SIGH* Be more precise please...

C : Anytime before 12.30 PM is okay lar... (how the fuck is that more precise???)

Me : Fuck! 5 AM also before 12.30 PM. 12.29 PM also before 12.30 PM. Just gimme a fucking precise time is that SO HARD??? Do you remember that I work from 8 AM - 12.30 PM??? What the fuck is wrong with you people???!!!!


Case 4

I walked past the make-up section (or whatever shitty section you guys call it) inside a shopping complex. And I totally despice those sales promoters. They'll all come swarming you, asking you to buy their products lar, promotion that lar, this lar. There are only two scenarios for me when it encountering them.

First scenario

Sales promoter : Miss, what products are you looking for? Body shampoo? Lotion? Perfume? Hair shampoo? Lipstick? We sell everything you need here. Got promotion bla bla bla...

Me : I'm just passsssing by... (walked by without a glance)

Sales promoter : ......

Second scenario

Sales promoter : Miss, what are you looking for?

Me : I'm looking for [brand name]. Do you have it?

Sales promoter : Oh. We have the same product by different brand which is on promotion right now. Do you wanna try? It's very good bla bla bla (goes on to praise the goddamn product)...

Me : DO.YOU.HAVE.[brand name].OR.NOT? Yes or no will do!

Sales promoter : Err... nope.

Me : Fuck. Waste of my time.

Sales promoter : ...

Case 5

At a petrol station...

I was using VISA card to pay. Once I got the receipt from the petrol kiosk, I showed it to the person in charge there in order to get the Entry Form for their promotion/competition right now. Each RM30 of fuel pumped gives you a Form in return. I pumped RM70 so I'm entitled to two of those Entry Forms.

Me : (showed her my Visa receipt) I'd like to have those Entry Forms please..

Stupid gal : Oh... (scribbled hastily on a receipt and handed it to me)

Me : ...

Stupid gal : You want receipt right?

Me : No. I want those Entry Forms.

Stupid gal : Oh... ok. Here (stared at my receipt for a minute before she gave me two of those Forms)

Me : ...

If she listened, REALLY listened, she would have known what I said. It's like you're asking for a plate of chicken rice, and they give you a plate of satay instead. Totally bizarre.

Are they stupid or just plain ignorant? And I'm so bloody pissed because I see and talk to such fools on everyday basis. It's wrecking havoc with my nerves!!!

CHEEBYE GMAIL!!!!!!

I AM SO TOTALLY SUPER-DUPER-GODDAMN-FUCKING-
FRIGGING-UNBELIEVABLY PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT APPEARS THAT GMAIL IS PRODUCED BY MOTHERFUCKERS RETARDS OF THE MILENNIUM ASSHOLES+MORONS+JERKS+GODDAMNRETARDS!!!

THEY CLAIM THAT YOU CAN USE GMAIL TO SAVE STUFFS. BLOODY EFFECTIVE.

WELL EFFECTIVE MY ASS!!

I JUST LOST MY ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING DRAFT!!!

CUZ I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED DISCARD. THE DAMN DISCARD BUTTON WAS NEXT TO THE SAVE BUTTON. GRRRR!!!

NORMALLY, YOU'D BE ABLE TO RETRIEVE WHATEVER SHIT YOU ACCIDENTALLY DELETED.

I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO FIND IT IN TRASH THEN.

IT'S NOT IN THE TRASH. IT'S A PERMANENT DISCARD. PERMANENT DELETE. AND NO FUCKING POP UP MENU WARNING YOU THAT IT'LL BE DISCARDED PERMANENTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CIBAI LANCIAO GMAIL GO FUCK YOURSELF SILLY KNN CCB.

MADEH!!!!!! PUUUIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bad mood

I'm in quite a bad mood today.

It rained very heavily this morning and afternoon.

The weather's so cold my wounds (from my blasted fractured right foot) ache non-stop.

Every little thing pissed me off.

People riding on a motorbike while listening to their handphones INSIDE their helmets.

The idiots who drove 20 kmh in front of me + On a straight main road some more!!!

Those darn dogs that howled and cried non-stop in the frigging rain. Maybe they'd just been castrated and were looking for their balls in the middle of the fucking rain?

The fact that it's so hard for me to open my own comment box sends me in a fit of anger.

Streamyx on and off, on and off, on and off the very same way human breath in and out, in and out, in and out. TU-LAN.

Government servants salary raise up to 30% or was it 35%? Why the fuck do they get raises when they give lousy services to us taxpayers (remember the black, sour, long faces WITH NO SMILE AND arrogant retorts and comments to our queries), who paid their fucking salaries with our HARD EARNED tax money??? Not to mention the fact that they are so damn bloody I N C O M P E T E N T in their works, thus causing queues as long as dragons in every possible counter??? On top of that, they get house loans, car loans, loan this loan that. Pui!!! (Ok ok. Not all of them, but MOST of them are like that!!!)

My mum who NEVER gets what I'm talking about, and when she DOES GET what I mean, she's more worried over trivial things instead of the fucking BIG PROBLEM looming over me!

Why can't mothers just SEE the big picture?! Instead, they spotted the tiny speckle of dust near the bloody frame and fuss over that. Yeah, dusts that can be wiped off and be gone just at the snap of your fingers.

I'm contemplating the very idea of staying mute for at least one month. I'm fed up of talking. With morons. Especially! And I'm fed up of repeating myself over and over and over and over and over and over... *infinity loop*

Maybe I should get those punching sand bag and a pair of gloves. Each time I'm pissed I'll just go beat the pulp out of that bag.

I'm also thinking of how nice it would be if I could just get a baseball bat and send the stupid irritating dogs OUT OF FIELD. Or maybe out of life seems MUCH BETTER.

Have I mentioned that I hate kids/toddlers who cries and cries and cries and cries...

KNN. How the hell did they do that? Crying WHOLE DAY long. I hope they grow up blind from the excessive crying that they had. They so fucking deserve it. Cheebye kia.

If that damn kid is in front of me, I'll slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap his face till he stops crying. If not, I'll feed him lots and lots and lots of chillies till his lips are totally swollen. He likes to cry mar. I'll let him cry PUAS-PUAS!!! And if he screams so much till I damn tu-lan, I'll just slit his throat open wide wide and sapu lotsa salt onto his wounds and end his bloody misery. There. Habis cerita. End of story. Game over. Cipet.

Today is just so fucking lame. It's worse than Mondays. *cradles head*

Thursday please come quick! I need Thursday to save me!!!


Disclaimer : No child was harmed in the production of this post. The same applies to the dogs too. Whatever stated here was merely a fraction of the writer's WILD and totally DARK imagination which has NEVER BEEN PRACTICED in reality.

bad movie experience

Perhaps I was born to have bad luck most of the times. I sincerely believe that. Everywhere I go, things always go wrong for me. It was NEVER smooth-sailing. Not even once. If it is, then something extremely bad would be waiting at the end of it all.

Today was no exception. Well, yesterday actually. Last night to be exact. I went to watch Spiderman 3 at 9.15 PM. The movie was great, in fact it was the second time I went watching. The first time I went with my Aunt in Sibu, the second with my sisters (yeah, I'm in Kuching right now till Gawai Hols are over). I don't mind watching a good movie more than once. Especially when my sisters were so hyped about watching Spiderman 3. =)

Everything was great until we went into the cinema. To be honest with you guys, I hate kids. Remember all my posts about those blasted neighbours' kids that I so wanted to kill with my bare hands? Well, I hate it even more when I go to cinema and found kids sitting either in front of me, at my back, to my left or right. 9 out of 10 times I'd scold the stupid, rude, unethical parents for ignoring their kids naughty antics and unbearable behaviour. I mean, what's the point of bringing your kids to the cinema if they can't even behave properly? And disturbing all the other cinema goers who has every intention to just ENJOY the movie?? Parents : What do you have to say about this???

I scolded a mother sitting behind me just now. She had a kid sitting on her lap who took great joy into kicking the back of my chair. It went on for a good half hour before I finally snapped and told her off. Before that, I kept looking behind, sorta like giving her hints or warnings, hoping that she'd get the hints and somehow control her kids (she had like 3 other kids at varying ages).

Did she get the signs?

NOPE. THAT DUMBASS. And what pissed me off even more is the way she talked to her sons in English, mimicking the Ang-mohs and talking so loudly some more.

I bombed her with English just now. Loudly too.

COULD YOU PLEASE STOP HIM FROM KICKING MY CHAIR ALL THE TIME??!! YOU ARE DISTURBING PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW THAT??!! IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL OR MAKE YOUR KIDS BEHAVE, THEN YOU MAY AS WELL JUST GO OUT! AND BRING THEM WITH YOU!

She apologized and then unbelievably, her kids behaved themselves throughout the rest of the movie.

Like you have to really embarrass and humiliate them (the parents) enough to make them start taking initiative in controlling their kids? Come on lar. What's the matter with parents nowadays? Why can't you take the effort to discipline your kids? So difficult meh?

To all parents who never care to discipline their kids now : I hope the day comes when you're old and your kids are all grown up like the hantu that you raised them to be and that they'll ill-treat you and leave you to rot in the old folks home because you so goddamn deserve it!

p/s : Not all kids are bad. I noticed a little girl in the cinema just now sitting at the row right in front of me. It's obvious she has been disciplined and well taught by her parents because she was so well behaved. So nice! So sweet! So obedient! There was no sound from her, no tantrums at all. So guai!!! So much so that I asked God : Why can't all kids be like her? And why can't all parents be like her parents? I noticed from the way her parents communicate that they are ethical people. Not like some morons who behave like samseng/paikia. Geez!

FED UP : SNAP!!!

I'll be frank here and tell you this.

I'm near the edge already. I almost snap. You know. Snap.

I'm fed up of being nice and kind to people when they dun give a damn.
Imagine those same morons coming to you complaining that you didn't take good care of them, that you've neglected them, that you're being so inconsiderate etc etc. Like wtf?! What is their fucking definition of being nice and kind huh? Niamah!

I'm fed up of being misunderstood all the time.
Why oh why do I always get stuck with idiots???!!! I give concise, precise, straight to the point, VERY detailed instructions/sentences. No hanky panky. No beating around the bushes. MACIBAI ARE YOU REALLY SO STUUUPIDDD OR WHAT? KNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm fed up of being blamed for things I wasn't even involved with in the first place.
Oi you macipet! Do you even know what the fuck you're talking about or not? HUH?!!! Wait. Lemme go get my cangkul (translate : hoe). I'll fucking dig up your measly brain out of your asshole! Bend over! Now!!! ^$#$@!%%!!!

I'm fed up of ppl backstabbing me.
Oh. You think you're so smart huh? Hafta use backstabbing huh? Ma-deh! If you so smart and pandai mah come fight with me one on one lar! What?! You think I'm scared of you hah? Macipet come try lar. I'll castrate you cilaka!

I'm fed up of ppl acting smart around me.
Oiii! I tau lar you tu bodoh! Tolol! Bacul! Bahlul! No need to advertise and tunjuk to me how stooopid you really are lar aiyah! I know liao! Quick quick go tidy up your tent liao lar KNN!

Translation :
tau = means know in Malay
bodoh = means stupid in Malay
tolol = means stupid in Malay also
bacul = means cowardly in Malay
bahlul = means silly in Malay
tunjuk = means show in Malay

I'm fed up of ppl who ALWAYS think that I'm HARMLESS!
Ta-ma-deh! Me HARMLESS? Think again wei. Lemme relocate your brain into the dustbin. Now think harder. Am I Harmless? Still? Huh?! Oh ma-deh! I forgot. You don't have brain!

I'm fed up of ppl who ALWAYS try to intimidate me the first time they met me.
Like I'm some 3 year old kid who can be easily intimidated. Cheebye! Oh well. They always got it back ten folds and much more. They so fucking deserve it.

I'm fed up of ppl who conceals information and think that by doing that then they should be ahead of me.
May whatever God you worship bless you dearies. You mah conceal as much as you can lor. I can dig them up elsewhere. You think only got one source of info meh? Stupiak!

I'm fed up of ppl calling me whenever they are in trouble.
Like I'm the fucking 911 hot-line or something. FOC some more. Celaka. No wonder I'm always boiling. Blood boiling lar. Tiu!

I'm fed up of ppl for NOT calling me whenever they are not in trouble.
Do you get what I'm saying or not? If yes, then you're okay. Maybe smart. Even. If not, then go bang your head to the nearest wall. You're one of those cheebye stupid morons who has brain the size of insect's shit! Now, do you understand how stupid you are?

I'm fed up of being the troubleshooter in EVERY goddamn thing.
Please lar. I beg you okay? Can or not? Try and use your brain lar. Do I have to tell you every goddamn fucking thing step by step word by word alphabet by alphabet???!!! Where's your BRAIN for crying out loud? Neh! Those white thing like the toothpaste when you squeeze them out oneee???

I'm fed up of always giving and giving and giving and giving!
KNN! I don't see anybody giving me anything ler tiu! Why the fuck do I always have to give give give give give give give?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm fed up of always communicating with jerks!
JERKS!!!! YOU KNOW? JERKS STUPID FOOLS MORONS DUMBASS DICKHEAD WHO HAS NO IDEA WHAT GRAMMAR MEANS, WHO DUNNO SHIT ABOUT SPELLINGS AND HAS 0% OF COMPREHENSION. AND EVEN WHEN YOU TALK TO THEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES THEY STILL CAN DO THINGS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! ##%$#^$#@!!!

GODDAMN IT!!! GO AHEAD STRIKE ME WITH LIGHTNING AND LEMME DIE AND FUCKING GO TO HELL OR HEAVEN OR WHATEVER. I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!!!!!!!!!! ANYMORE!!!

Niamah! Blind stupid driver!

Warning : This post is full of cussing and ill-wishes. Don't say I didn't warn ya!

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

I'm in a bloody foul mood right now.

Just came back and my mum already summoned me downstairs to have a look at our Avanza.

Mum : Look at that! *points at the rear left bumper of our Avanza*

*There were several deep ugly lines of scratches at the said spot. My Avanza's blue paint was scraped off and in its place was ugly deep stretches of grayish white. Can even see the metal color underneath. Tiu!*

Me : *gasp* OMG WTF KNNCCB!!!! WHO THE FUCK DID THIS?
Mum : Did you knock into anything when driving just now?
Me : *greatly insulted* You dunno how I drive meh? I've never knocked the car all my life of driving ok! Just now did you notice me knocking into anything or not? *pissed*
Mum : Hmm. Then must have gotten it while we parked at the parking space there lor.
Me : *scrutinized the damages* Oh! It's that fucking stupid Kelisa lady driver who parked to the left of our car izzit?
Mum : Yes!
Me : Ma-deh! I did re-reverse and reparked our car further away from her car! There was a gap of like 3 feet (close to 1 metre) in between our car! Ma-deh! Like that also can knock meh? Such a huge gap!
Mum : She doesn't seem skilled enough to notice that. She might have knocked our car while reversing and turning her car.
Me : Grrrr... *body temperature shoots up, blood set to boil* Like that also can? Wtf did she get her driving license? Macipet her eyes must be stucked all the way up her asshole or something!
Mum : Choy! Dun cuss ppl like that ar. Not good you know!
Me : So what do you want me to say? Wah! So pandai ar? Like that also can knock ar? I wonder who passed her driving license hor? Her father ar?
Mum : Wei, dun talk bad bad of other people lar.
Me : Ma-deh. She knocked into our car liao you still prevent me from cussing her. She so bloody deserves it! I hope her whole family gets involved in accident or some gila people just set her bloody car on fire or that her car is vandalized tonite!
Mum : Wei. Told you to stop cussing liao! Not good you know! Haiya!
Me : *smoke comes out from my ears liao*

I'm fuming. Some fucking retard knocked into my Avanza's left rear bumper when reversing out from the parking lots. My digicam battery flat and I didn't take my charger back with me so no pics for this post. But boy am I pissed! The car color coincides with the color of the blasted Kelisa as well. When parking just now, my mum noticed the way she drove and so requested me to repark our car further away from her. But still...

So damn TU-LAN! Grrr...

To that blardy stooopid lady driver :

I wish you get whatever you did to my car today a thousand folds! You one cheebye blind macipet KNNCCB lanciao bin! I hope you crashed tonite and died on the spot! PUI!!!!

SEE CHAR BOR WHO GROWS UP EATING SHIT AND SHITTING RICE!!! MA-DEH! SO DAMN TU-LAN!!!!!

p/s : I feel sorry for my mum. After all of her wasted efforts trying to prevent me from cussing the damn culprit, I retreated to cussing in my blog. *sigh* At least it's in writing and not verbally. Should be better gua. But still...

BITCH!!!!!!!! DAMN KAO TU-LAN-NYE!!!!!!!! GRRRR...

Disgusting Creatures called Spiders

Came across this goddamn creepy euuuuuuu story at cnn. This reminds me of a SCARY EXPERIENCE of mine which happened after I came back from UK in year 2003.

You're so NOT gonna believe this. If the two spiders in Jesse Courtney's left ear were both about the size of pencil eraser, mine was about the size of Malaysia's 20 cents coin.

For the Malaysians who are reading this : You can close your mouth now, thank you.
For all non-Malaysians : Go google up and find out how big is a Malaysia's 20 cents coin.

And instead of left ear, it's my right ear. It's nightmare I tell you. I woke up feeling like my right head is much much more heavier. Slightly tilted to the right okay. And my right ear felt numb. So I poked my pinky into it and I felt something scrambling further in!!!

I was totally frozen stiff I tell you. Celaka. Imagine something huge INSIDE your ear. MOVING INSIDE!

I didn't know it was a spider. But I knew something was inside. And I woke up in the middle of the night too, so there were no sane doctors to see at all. I switched on my table lamp, shone it into my right ear, and within 2 seconds, the blasted creature dashed out from my ear. Right now, I can still remember VIVIDLY how it clings to my right ear lobe and jumped to the floor. My room was carpeted and I could hear the 'thump' as the cheebye spider landed on it. Wah seh! I was so pissed, I hunted the damn thing for one half hour before I finally found it and squashed it flat flat by using rolled up newspapers.

You wonder how I found it? I switched on every light in my room and used torchlight to search for it. Spiders hate light mar. They like it dark dark mar.

I wasn't about to go to sleep with THAT thing roaming around in my room. It'll just crawl its way into my ear again you know.

Few days after that, I suddenly got this CRAZY idea that the damn spider was actually planning to lay eggs in my right ear. I mean of all the nooks and cranny, why go into my right ear right? So I dashed all the way to my family Doctor's clinic and begged him to do a thorough checkup of my right ear to make sure that there wasn't ANY spider eggs in it.

Can you imagine tiny baby spiders hatching inside your ear and then climbed all the way out and making themselves homey? I mean inside your ear? Euuuuuu!

FCUK! I so goddamn HATE SPIDERS!

My family Doc laughed himself silly and said that I was just being paranoid. Which lead me to demand for an explanation from him.

Doc : Do you clean your ears often?
Me : Yes. Why?
Doc : Ah. That could be a problem. See? Your ear canal is way too clean. Mrs.xxx, please come and take a look at your daughter's ear. See? No taik telinga at all. It doesn't look like an ear's canal. So the little spider might have mistaken it for a nice clean little hole for it to stay.
Me : O.o (KNNCCB. Like that also can? Tiu!!!)

The thing is : Spiders SOMEHOW likes me. I'll tell you sometime in the future about the huge spider (reads Golf ball size) that crawls from my shoulder all the way to the tip of my finger when I was sleeping in my bed in UK. KNNCCB! I was scared shitless! Ma-deh!

Can any genius out there tell me why spiders like me? I hate them so much! Peiiii!!!!! My family Doctor just smiled when I asked him why. TU-LAN!!!

fucking pissed

I'm pissed beyond description of words. I can't tell you what it is, but I'm just plain downright totally truly goddamn pissed.

My blood is boiling
It's raining heavily out there
The sound of vibrators used by the renovation workers opposite my house is annoyingly loud in the heavy rain

Am I developing some sort of sixth sense?

How can I remain so calm when I'm so goddamn fucking pissed?

I'm changing. In a weird way.

I'm contemplating the idea of starving myself to death when I get back to Sarikei.

How long do you think I can hold on without any food at all?

Yeah, right. Straight after you healed from that fucking goddamn gastric? Get a break.

On top of that, working my ass off sounds superbly wonderful right now.

How long do you think I can stay on working non-stop before I collapse and stop breathing?

I can also try denying myself any sleep at all till I developed these round puffy cute panda eyes. And collapse from the sheer tiredness of it all. Lapsing into comma sounds good too. Niiiccceeeeee....

How long do you think I can stand not having any sleep at all? 2 days straight? 3 days straight? Or maybe 1 week?

Or maybe I can try and drown myself with beer. Come to think of it, I've never got drunk you know? Maybe I should experiment a bit and see how I fare.

How many cans of beer do you think it takes to make me drunk?

Hoo. I really know how to torture my body don't I? This is what I call, my murderous thoughts. It's plain dark and ugly and unbearable. Normally I used all my energy to suppress it from rearing its ugly head from my deepest core. When I'm pissed though, I lost control of all those suppression and all hell breaks loose.

This is hell. At least, close to. No?

Maybe not.

Maybe I should try someting more drastic? Like cutting off my wrist maybe? That would be fun, no? Seeing warm colourful blood oozing out from my very own miserable wrist.

Wei. You siao ar you. What cut wrist?!

I wish I'm siao. Then I'd have license to kill. When I'm prosecuted, I'll just get these certificate or reports from siao Doctors proving that I'm indeed siao so that I don't have to go to jail or sentenced to death.

But then again, if I am to kill anybody, I figure I'll kill myself first. Then no need to bicara lar tiu. Straight go to hell already. Habis cerita. Mahai. This world is no place for me. Ptuiiiii!!!!!!

Where are you Kekkaishi?!

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting.

Where are you Kekkaishi?!

Where's your next episode?! When?!?!?!!!!

I'm stuck at ep 20 and I just can't bloody stand it!!!

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!