HLCO - Still searching...

Blogger gone bonkers?

2011-05-14T01:17:00.002+08:00

Couldn't post anything at all in blogger today, until 5 mins ago that is.

Then I found out that I lost 2 of my previous posts. So I copy pasted them and reposted them.

Ain't that weird? Losing posts straight after blogger's supposedly better maintenance or whatever they wanna call it.

SIGH

To make things worse, I am sleepy but I can't sleep.

Oh dearrrr...Gonna be one damn long niteee..

How to handle subordinates??? Part 1

2011-05-14T01:15:00.000+08:00

One thing I noticed recently is that the increase in traffic flow into my blog has one thing in common. They are all related to the title listed above:- How to handle subordinates???

Have you guys ever take note on how subordinates behave? Is that the norm really? Or have we failed to notice it until our recent promotion to a Managerial post? Let's face it. We don't really care until we are in the position of a Manager or Leader. That's when we notice things like that. Because we are in the position to lead, we need to manage people. That's when we realized how difficult human beings can be. And I assure you, the most difficult thing to manage in a Project (regardless of what form of business you do) is humans. Time is a factor, yes. We cannot turn back time. BUT we can manage time because time doesn't have a behavior. It just goes on and on and waits for no man. Time doesn't stop. Time doesn't swing right or cuts to the left when you least expects it. Time just keeps moving forward even if the sky falls apart. So, we can divide time up into small chunks. We can race against time. Think up methods how to beat time. But humans are not time. Unlike time, humans can pose to be the most challenging and demanding creatures. If you know how to deal with them, or even pat them into submission, then you are a winner.

But if you are in the position where you need to submit to their demands, complaints, whining... all those miserable squabbles, then you are ... erm... you still have a long way to go. But you will get there, eventually.

Being the boss/Manager/Leader is no easy task. Do you have the natural talents to be a leader? Does people acknowledge you? Are they willing to follow your lead? Are they willing to die for you? Whoa! That's dramatic! Walk on broken glasses and through fire with you? Just where do you stand? What qualities do you have? You need to do a lot of self assessments before you can even talk about handling subordinates. There are lots of soul searching to do here. Do you have what it takes to manage people and lead them?

Once you know yourself well, then, only then you can start assessing other people. In this case, your subordinates. Rule number 1 here is : Judge yourself first. Determine your strengths and weaknesses. Where do you stand? Are you pragmatic? Fair? Do you pick and choose? Stern? Do you plan things out?

Why are these important? Subordinates bicker when they feel that you are not qualified to lead or manage them. They will show disrespect, throw tantrums like kids, trying to be difficult and unreasonable. Of course. Nobody is perfect, not you, not them. All you can do is improvise. How you improvise and when and where is another different issue. The question is : Are you willing to do what it takes to improve? Are you willing to trudge along, to observe and learn? Handling subordinates is a long winding journey. It takes a lot of patience, observation, trial and error before you can get it right, or at least, get the hang of it.

I'll stop here for today. For those of you who has questions, do feel free to pose them here. Assist you I shall. ;P Hope this helps.

Posted Thursday May 12, 2011

Fast and Furious 5 - Just another movie...

2011-05-14T01:13:00.000+08:00

Just came back from The Spring. Watched Fast and Furious 5. ;)

Was good. At least it was worth the RM11 I paid, but the first 5 mins was soooo fake. Wait, was it the first 5 mins? Ok, minus that and some unbelievably over-exaggerated scenes (like how you can get two sport cars to pull an over 10 Tonnes bank security vault all over the places, while using it as a weapon, leaving a long trail of destruction in its wake). Come on, that was sooo ridiculous and downright fake. Duh... but it's enjoyable while it lasted... at least it got me glued to my seat despite my urges to pee...

Noticed the resemblance of the scenes of Rio with the cartoon movie, Rio. Wait, it IS the same place!!! Wow. I thought I was dreaming.... tralalalala..

Loves..

Vin Diesel - the killer voice, the smirk, the muscles *shrieks*
The Rock - what was his real name again?
the speeding, screeching, engines roaring...
the thrills, AANNNDDD..
the absurdity of everything,

Heck... half of the movie feel so unrealistic ---> fake, fake, fake

B.U.T.

it was still a good watch.

The way how they killed the bad guy was such a joke. Wham! Dead. So lame! Duh.

The fighting scenes where Vin Diesel wrestles The Rock is awesome. Haha..

So, if you're looking for some time to kill, be ready to get amused. This is one of those unbelievable shits that miraculously smells nice...

I rate this 8/10. Yeah..

Posted Thursday May 12, 2011

Another battle...

2011-05-06T21:16:00.002+08:00

Feels kinda contented today. And relieved. Yeah, relief and contentment. Contented cause I still have it. Could still pull it off. I haven't lost my touch. Not at all. I'm still good at doing what I do best.

*paused to think*

Is that even possible? Feeling relieved and contented at the same time?

I attended a Coordination Meeting with the Main-Con today. The room was jam-packed with Sub-Cons and PMT [Project Management Team] staffs consisting of Engineers, Site Supervisors, Project Manager, bla bla bla yadda yadda yadda - you get the drill.

Anyway, the Meeting wasn't pleasing. It was far from that. It was ugly and downright nasty. Confrontations, accusations, disputes, squabbles... How much worse can it get? And I took major part in it. Tried every "nice" moves in my 'dictionary'. Tried to be diplomatic, respectful, sincere, heck, even pragmatic but none of them worked cause one asshole of a Sub-Con kept pestering me with accusations and insults.

Well... I tried to be civilized, but oh well, he wanted it the bad, hardcore way. Guys can be such an asshole, chauvinist pig.

I resorted to intimidation. Disrespect. Even ridiculed his command of English. He asked for it. And he deserved it. Deserves it still. Will give him TONNES of it if he doesn't back off. He got so pissed... or was it humiliated? I can't really tell and honestly I don't give a damn. He walked out in the middle of the meeting. And the rest of the people in the Meeting room smiled and shook their heads. Whoa!

The Meeting proceeded without much problems from then onwards. It really proves who the real troublemakers are. I got what I went there for. And for that, I am glad, relieved, and contented. Tonight, I'm sure I can sleep better. That's one huge weight off my shoulder!

Is that really me?

2011-04-30T20:52:00.002+08:00

Hello again world. It has been ages since I last dropped by. So much has changed then, it never really occurs to me that whatever I posted once a long long time ago here, was - no, IS still here, really.

Spent the last few hours reading my own blog. Just surfing randomly. A jump here, and a little peeking there. I gotta say, I barely recognize this fellow. I barely recognize myself.

She sounds like a stranger to me. In fact, I'm not even sure if I can ever write as good as I could, as she could. Perhaps I have changed. Perhaps time has changed me. Perhaps circumstances changed me. Perhaps...

I have grown up.

Why? I worry about different things now. I think about different things now. I do things differently now too. I changed the way I talked, my thinking processes, my dreams, my desires.

Even the way I write is different now. I'm pretty sure they are not as creative, imaginative, emotional, wild and as intriguing as before. There is a high possibility that they actually sound quite boring.

Do I care about that? Not really. Just stating the obvious. Does it bother me? Nah, it doesn't. Why should it?

I've changed. I've matured - maybe just a tad bit. But right now, that's enough.

Would I take up blogging again? Maybe yes, maybe no. No promises there. I may come back here in another 3 years time and exclaimed, Man! I totally forgot about this blog!

Thought about posting some articles here once in a while. I admit, I do miss the good ol' days.. blogging, thinking about home sweet home, missing my family and all that. Don't get me wrong, I still love my family. I miss my mum and sisters whenever I go traveling, and I do miss my late Father the most, but there's nothing much I can do about that. Life goes on. I have to move on. But I will always hold him dear in my heart. Promise. *pinky shakes*

A-haks. That's a bit of the child in me poking up. Maybe I am still her after all. d^___^b

Won't post much now. Have to work. QS job really. The truth is, I hate calculating materials. I prefer to have the QS do that, but I have not been able to find a reliable one at the moment. So, I have to do the calculations myself. It's a pain in the ass because I have been running all over the place, daily. I wish I have as much stamina as I did before. Age is catching up to me.

Oh yeah. Latest update. I have been busy since April last year. It started off at a good pace, and slowly ride up a thunderstorm. Working on several projects right now. Formed my own construction company too. Being a boss is not - I repeat, NOT easy!!! Problems pop up every now and then which really saps every remaining energy I have in my mind and body. Everyday.

Note to self : n.e.e.d...a...b.r.e.a.k.

Unfortunately, I won't be getting that anytime soon.

Gotta wake up super early tomorrow for a Labour Day's function on my site. *sigh* It's gonna be another long morning.

Well, here's to hoping that you will see me here again, soon!

KiBiKiBi - signing out ;P

Histats.com in Spanish????

2009-11-09T22:28:00.002+08:00

Whatever happened to Histats.com??? Why has it defaulted to Spanish instead of English??? Hello you dungheads at histats.com, in case you are not aware of this, I do not speak, read nor write in Spanish so... why would I continue using Histats in Spanish??? When I first installed it, it was in English!!! Seriously, don't you people have brains??? Like, brain cells that really, truly works??? Do you sincerely believe that I speak, read and write in Spanish?

Wait. Don't tell me. You do.

*deep breath*

Ok. I get it. My bad. I'll change. Don't need Histats anymore.

*note to self : Remove unnecessary stuffs written by morons for morons*

That reminds me. Gotta remove that dang Microsoft Office 2007. *BIG SIGH*

Please lar Streamyx, RIP!!! No one will miss you!

2009-11-09T16:22:00.004+08:00

I woke up in confusion this morning because some morons disrupt my sleep 8++ in the morning. The first thing I saw when I opened my front door is the TM's van. Then realization hit me : Uh.. so there wasn't any prob with the port?

You see, last night I couldn't browse at all. I was connected but cannot browse. My modemn was fine but browser showed Loading loading loading... Tried for several hours still cannot load, then eventually I called 100 to complain. The lady in charge checked things for me and then confirmed that my port was down. I suspected it was the port because I checked with my friends who live within the vicinity and they do not have browsing problem. Ok. Port prob verified. Here's what ensued from the conversation with the TM's customer service 'officer' :-

Me: So it's a port prob?
TM: Yes. Your port is down. That's why you cannot surf.
Me: When can they fix it?
TM: I'll send technicians over tomorrow to check. It's too late now, cannot check.
Me: Check port ka?
TM: Yeah. Port.
Me: Where's the port?
TM: Kuching.
Me: Kuching where?
TM: ...
Me: Where's THE port?
TM: Erm..

(By this time, I was so irked, I understand how 'ignorant' people can be, so I kindly supplied an EXAMPLE)

Me: My house??
TM: No no no. Not your house.
Me: This port prob, is it my prob or TM's prob?
TM: TM's prob. Port is inside the server. Server is TM's, so it's TM prob.
Me: How long would it take?
TM: ...
Me: When can I use my internet???
TM: Cannot say.
Me: ... !@%#@%%&%#%$#@%!!!!!!!
TM: Anything else?
Me: Please fix it, otherwise I potong line lar. Tulan!

You'd think that's the end of the story right? Nope. The technician came, without calling, no appointments, no manner, acting as if I owed them a lifetime of debt. They were on their way into my house when I stopped them and asked them:-

Me: You checked the port already?
TM technician: What port?
Me: What are you here for?
TM technician: Check your stuffs.
Me: The lady last nite told me she'll send you guys to check the port. Have you checked the port?
TM technician: Check your house first then we go check port lar.
Me: I cannot let you in.
TM technician: Then we go lar.

Aiyah... go lar go lar. Ma cheebye. Come uninvited still wanna act macho and heroic. Bo-kah-see some more. Ptui!!!!!

I called 100 again and this time, the lady in charge (damn sombong some more) insisted that their technicians are the best when I complained about their competencies in their jobs. She couldn't answer me when I asked her why were they at my house and not checking the port at their server. She couldn't answer me regarding the procedures in these matter. She couldn't answer me anything. And she had the nerve to ask me what else I want. I want you damn assholes at TM to do your fucking job!

I tried browsing after that and luckily I could browse. Went to streamyx website, read on their troubleshooting shits, customer services shits and Fair Usage Policy shits. When I tried to summit a complaint, the site won't budge. So I e-mailed them the following. Guess what. I did not get a reply from them and my line works beautifully throughout the day without interruptions whatsoever. Kanneh Streamyx. You really enjoy being tiaw huh????

******************************************
PORT problem (URGENT)

From: "xxxxxxxxxxxxx"

To: complaints@tm.com.my

Cc: help@tm.com.my
~~~~~~~~~~~

I went here http://www.tm.com.my/contact/forms/complaint.asp
just now and filled in the form and found that I cannot summit it. Can you tell me why I cannot summit it??? So I resorted to e-mail.

11/9/2009
Sender's Full Name
Sender's Full IC No.
Sender's e-mail address
Sender's landline No.

Complaints :

I've been having problem browsing internet for several months and lately, it was so ridiculous I cannot stand it anymore. I checked your troubleshooting site and found that I have no problem with faulty telephone lines (my line is good), wrong hardware set up (my hardware is set up properly cause it can definitely browse), modemn (cause I'm not having connection prob, my prob is I cannot browse!!), OS network configuring system (my Primary DNS: 202.188.0.133 and Secondary DNS: 202.188.1.5 which are both correct), antivirus/anti-spyware/anti-adware software from time to time (my antivirus & anti-spyware are up to date), incorrect browser configuration (no proxy setting and no default dialler), invalid login id or password (my id and password are working just fine).

It took me ages (few mins to few hours) just to load a page at times. I cannot check e-mails too or login to facebook.

I suspect the prob is a port prob so I called 100 last nite to check and the lady verified that the port at TM's server was down. I asked her why is it down she said dunno. I asked whether that is prob at MY side or SERVER side she said Server. Said she'll send technicians to check on the port the next morning.

Since it is obviously the port prob, then your technician should work on the port at your server. But no, they came early this morning, without calling whatsoever and demanded to check my house system. When I asked whether they have checked the port, they said they wanna check my house FIRST before checking the port. Since it was confirmed through your system checking at 100 last nite that your port was down, why don't you go check on your port first? Is TM trying to be funny in providing its services? Or are your technicians trying to be funny? I refused them entrance into my house because I do not trust them.

I am very disappointed with the way TM handles this. You do not solve problem but instead beat around the bush and try to do it the long winding difficult ways that inconvenienced the customers.

What Fair Usage Policy? I can't browse at all most of the times. Let alone download things.

Please bear in mind I'm not having connection prob. I AM CONNECTED. I just cannot load pages. CANNOT BROWSE. Just blanks. Sometimes can browse (half an hour or 1 to 2 hours, then cannot load at all. If I get lucky, I can browse, but VERY VERY VERY SLOW. SLOWER than dial-up connection!). Don't try to be funny with me : I know you can check everything from your server so go and do your work. I've checked everything so why don't you do your share. Go check your port please. Fix it. I'm paying every month to browse. I do not pay NOT TO browse. Get it? If you cannot solve this, forget it. I'll close account. End of story!

p/s : Your customer service at 100 was lousy. You think keeping quiet can solve prob? That your prob will disappear into thin air? And she insisted that the technicians are the best. If best then why give funny story? She just said need to check check check. By the time you finish checking when would that be? Months???? They don't know why the port is down and they wanna check my end? They cannot tell me why the port is down but they are the best technicians? What a great service. You have something funnier to tell me?? I can't wait. Enlighten me. I wanna see your reply.

Thank you.

From,
Very Irritated Customer
******************************************

Screwed!!!

2009-11-07T20:09:00.001+08:00

OMG!!!! My Page Element has gone nuts!!! What am I to do??!!!??? What happened to it during my absence? I can't even re-arrange anything!!!!

Future plans

2009-11-07T15:07:00.003+08:00

I'm a bit kay-poh lately so just let me release my stim and rant to my satisfaction, ok?

If you are a frequent reader, you would have realized by now that this year spells disaster for me. I'm jobless, penniless, useless, helpless, hopeless, partner-less, fruitless and yes. The list goes on. You can add on whatever '-less' ending word that you can think of. I believe they will suit me just fine.

The last blow was the departure of my Daddy to be with God. Awww. And before I realized it, I have more or less learn to accept this great lost, all within the span of 1 year. Am I just damn strong and tough or am I just heartless?

Frankly, I don't know the answer. But one thing I do know is that I have to move on. It pains me not being able to contribute to my family in this time of dire needs. My joy of eating has dissipated (whatever left of my appetite is just mere shows to cover up my heartache) and I have shed off the plumpness from my body. My mind is always filled with money money money. Hence, the silly money post just now, ahaks!

I need a job where I can be close to my family and be there for Mum 24/7. I cannot do outstation jobs and I do believe I've turned down more than enough share of jobs to get my name blacklisted in the market. Problem is, most developments are done in rural areas and that spells o-u-t-s-t-a-t-i-o-n. That's kind of a taboo word for Mum cause Daddy used to do outstation jobs thus didn't spend much time with us. Plus, I have the same profession as Daddy so practically speaking, that is like adding salt to open wounds. Mummy cried again this morning when signing the name transfer of properties documents. T_T

While searching for a job, I reckon it would be good to get back to writing. My blog is kinda messy after months upon months of neglect. I do hope it can generate an income sufficient to get me by, at least for the moment while I work on stuffs.

By now I'm already so dehydrated watching with my own eyes how all of my hard work went down the drain. It's high time for a change.

Still, changing is difficult, especially in the midst of ... well, hell? By the very least, I can truly enjoy blogging. I love writing but I've noticed how darkly my writings were as of late. I can't really help it, what with all those unfortunate shits happening in my life and all. But I'm trying to tone things down and focus on more, educational stuffs.

I'd probably sign up with nuffnang too. And go back to reading blogs. I haven't read blogs in ages. When was the last time I read a blog? 4 or 5 months ago? I did drop by michaelooi.net cause his blog uploads fast without pictures. And his posts certainly entertained me.

Currently trying to decide whether to do Master in Business Administration, or Master in Management, Master in Project Management or Master in Science or Master in Engineering. Then there's the University selection process to ponder on.

*smiles*

I'm really trying to get my life back on track. Believe me. Picking up all the broken pieces and stitching them up together is no easy task. First task is trying to cry less. In my case, it's more or less accomplished, except for the occasional burst of tears. I wish I could rip out my tear ducts. That way, nobody can tell that I'm crying. Or had been crying. Haha

Well, if you have any tips on how to make money from home then do let me know. I do need the cash badly and I'm sure you can judge from my writings that I am, capable of writing! ;P

Where's my moolah??

2009-11-07T14:04:00.002+08:00

Moolah? What's moolah?

Aiyer. Like that also don't know meh? Money lar, what else.

Money? Moolah is money? Err.. Why don't they just call it money?

Ok. Here's why. Moolah is a slang for money. Why use slang when you can say money? Maybe they just wanna 'spice up' the word? Add more feel and coolness to it? Increase ones mojo? There are people out there who feels damn special for being able to spew cool, alien words to their moronic bunch of 'so called friends'. But then again, sometimes this may not seem to be the case. Perhaps the word has gone through extensive-fast-forward revolution. Like the word 'google'. Google was a search engine, don't get me wrong, it IS still a search engine, but nowadays, people tell you to 'Google for it' instead of 'Go to Google and search for it'. Instead of a noun it has now become a verb. Awesome huh?

On the other hand, perhaps some people perceive money or the sign $$$ as a taboo word. I, for instance hate money. Why? I associate money with problems. Money is the cause of all the crimes and bad things in the world. People kill for money. Rob banks for money. Fight for money, worry about money, quarrel over money and disputes over money. Sold their lives, bodies, souls and dignities for money. Do everything for money. Just take a look at the Fear Factor shows. They'd eat tarantulas, scorpions (alive man!!!) and even shit for money. Heck, they'd swallow stuffs people vomit out just for money. Kill babies for money (Google for melamine if you don't know what this mean *rolls eyes*) and sell fake eggs (in China, fake eggs are mass produced using chemical substances and sold for as low as 0.05 yuan compared to a real, fresh egg that costs over 1 yuan each). Is that how much humanity is worth??

You don't believe this? Let's say I'm a crazy multi-billionaire and I told you I'd give you 1 million dollars if you'd just let me cut off your pinky, study your reaction and then have my personal surgeon re-attach your pinky back for you. And you can do this over and over again. I'll just pay you up with cold hard cash at the end of each session. And countless people can join up. It's for my special studies. I'll publish it, make money out of it. And guess what, there will be viewers. Who wouldn't want to watch that? Now, the question is : Would you do that? Let me cut your pinky. After all, it's just a pinky. You certainly won't die. Right? You get 1 million dollars cash each time you cut off your pinky wor! Guaranteed wor! Would you or would you not do it? I bet thousands of people would queue up from Kuching all the way to Singapore JUST to have their pinkies cut off and then re-attached back. And they get paid 1 million each. Why not?

Too bad I'm not a billionaire. Maybe this is a good thing. If I were a billionaire, imagine all the sick ideas I have that I can actually do. OMG! This is so sick!!! I'm damn sure I can beat Fear Factor. Damn. Where's my moolah??? Come quick lar. I wait till knees kejang already!

Disclaimer : Nobody has been harmed in the production of this article. The so-called facts written here are based on rumors flying in the air at current time of publishing. If you wanna believe what you read, believe. If you don't believe, then don't believe. The writer or this blog never forces anything down your throat or into your mind. So read, laugh and admire. Or fuck off. Or whatever.

Better days ahead?

2009-11-06T15:42:00.004+08:00

Lately I have been more complacent. Is that the right adjective to use? I'm not sure. Maybe it is wrong to say that I'm 100% complacent, but I did say I have been more complacent. That surely counts as an improvement, no?

Why did I say this? Well, I used to brood over every little things that upset me. I had so much pent up stress, I believe it is enough to explode and cover half of Sarawak with hot, molten lava. Yes, I miss Daddy very much and yes, I have so many regrets. So many things not accomplished. I haven't got a bf, get engaged, get married, have kids, build a family. My career has not reached its peak at all. I have not given Daddy the happiness of having a son-in-law or grandchildren. And I'll never have that chance. I'll never see him smiling at me ever, telling me how proud he is of me and how everything will turn out right and okay. I'll never hear him sigh again, or how excitedly he tells all of us about his latest purchase of Rolex watches, antiques, DSLR cameras, binoculars or even telescopes. I'll never hear his laughter or devilish chuckle of delight against our antics. I'll never talk to him, hug him or tell him how much I love him. I'll never get to tell him to just let go of his work and come home sooner, quicker and more frequently. I'll never get to call him and complaint about everything. I'll never have someone like him to ask about advice or anything ever. I really miss him. And tears rolled down my face even as I'm typing this.

But now it's different. There is peace from within. There is no anger nor sadness. Just longing and acceptance. Regrets I'll learn to live with. And I will be stronger. I'm deeply comforted that Daddy did not suffer while departing from this world. I'm somewhat glad that we did not see this coming at all. Life is such a mystery. We never know what we had until we have lost it. We always took things for granted. Never cherishing them while they are still there. How can we be so ignorant?

Recently I've watched TV, youtube, anime and countless of movies. I've dug up all of my mp3 collections and listened to them, remembering why I loved those songs, and love them still now. I'm marvelled at how much feelings I had then, for music and anime. How much I treasured letters, and tiny little gifts friends give me. I never threw them away. My room is packed mostly with books and stuffs dating back to my childhood days. I still have the RC car that Daddy bought me for my 4 year old birthday. If I can find the battery that suits it and plug it in, it'll definitely run like it was brand new. I still had drawings I drew when I was 14. I never wanted to throw them away. To me they were precious. I cannot bear losing them, not seeing them ever again.

That sounds silly doesn't it? How many people does that anyway? It's such a waste of time and room area. Pua Chu Kang's wife Rosie once scolded him, 'Keep keep keep! Can turn into gold meh?'. That phrase rang so true. Sure, these things won't turn into gold, but it is the feelings engraved that makes it priceless. It is the memories that makes things meaningfull. It is the song that was playing at that particular moment that brings back the memories of yesteryears. Somehow you can't help but being transported back into that time, that moment, that place. Somehow you cannot help but remembering all of your feelings, senses, thoughts and wishes then. It was magical.

For me, I'll always carry all these wonderful memories with me. I may curse and scream and shout and threaten to kill every morons in the world that gets in my way but the truth is, I am a softy at heart. I get angry easily because I'm sensitive. I feel so much, so strongly that it is unbearable not to show any response whatsoever. Over the years though, I've learned to keep things to myself. Things no one would understand. I stopped expecting anyone to understand. I stopped hoping someone would. It is better to let go and move on. Life seems easier that way. I can breath more easily. Not some laboured breath clouded with disgust that no one seems to understand.

So what now? I wanna live life to its fullest. I don't stop living just because something bad happened. I'm tough. And I will go on writing. Come to think of it, I haven't written much in the past few years. I read some of my earlier postings years back and I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of my postings. Some of them were so angry and dark, but surprisingly funny in its own little manner. I longed for the time when I used to write about cute, happy stuffs. I miss those times when nothing seems to worry me and troubles would just go away if I wished for them hard enough. I will survive. Somehow.

Am I comforting myself? In a way, perhaps I am. And for those who has ever felt the way I felt, take heed - if you can live through this, then you shall emerge stronger. We are molded, trained into stronger beings through various life experiences. Someday, we'll make those who meant a lot to us proud. This is life. The better days are yet to come. I'll wait till that day comes. Would you?

p/s: Pa, I love you and always will be. You are the greatest Dad alive and if I'm ever given the chance to choose, I'll always want you to be my Daddy, thousands of lifetimes over. No one can replace you. That's how precious you are to me. So rest in peace and don't worry about us. Luv ya!

Official Cactus Killer

2009-11-06T14:32:00.003+08:00

Oh dear. Remember the cactus that I so proudly presented last month? Uh.. they all died. All except two. In fact, those two survived cause my sisters saved them. Yeap - my two youngest sisters. Every last bit of cactus that fell prey into my hands died a miserable, insignificant death.

Please forgive me minna. I killed you. Yes. I'm a murderer. A cold hearted one at that.

And strangely, I do not feel... horrified. I do not feel sorry at all. Sad yes. Sorry? Nope.

Did I deliberately do that? *evil grin*

Maybe yes. Maybe no. They aren't tough. That's why they died. Not my fault. Right?

My youngest sis would probably accused me of killing them. On purpose.

'You didn't water them for one whole month!!!'

'Hmmm. I thought cactus do not need that much water. They ARE cactus, not ordinary plants lar.. they'll survive..'

'They still need water!!! Baka!'

O__O

Maybe she's right. I'm such a baka. Either that, or I simply don't care at all.

I'll probably sneak into her room to take pic of her baby cacti. It has sprouted cute tentacle-like shoots on its top. It looks like a snail's head to me.

Alas, internet connection has been slower than snails. Pictures up soon. I mean, as soon as I could upload them. If not, you'll just hafta keep waiting!

Wahahahaa!

2009's nightmares... (Part 1)

2009-09-24T13:57:00.008+08:00

Warning : Very long and emo post. Get lost now if you can't deal with it.

Just got back from a week long trip to Sibu with my family and Uncle. It was supposed to be a vacation of some sort. Turns out that it pumps more pressure into my system or perhaps I was on the verge of explosion.

The trunk road was packed full of morons who drive recklessly, as if the whole stretch of the bloody road belongs to their idiotic parents. You wondering why I called them morons and idiots? Who the fuck drove 30 or 40 km per hour on a highway road? And yeap, they have 13 cars following them up closely, each of them having cooked up enough temperatures to melt a steel! I am one of those who had boiling blood. And I would have just run down those sorry excuses of assholes if I was driving a 20 foot trailers to boot. The morons always switch ON my anger button. Without fail. Ptuiiii!

Maybe I've gone crazy due to over-depression or disappointments. Nothing seems right. Everything has gone wrong. Everything that looks promising, good and feasible has gone terribly wrong. My disappointments gave birth to suicidal thoughts. Funnily enough, I actually considered, seriously, considering the idea of committing suicide; should I hang myself? swallow 1000 tablets of pills? drink pesticide? but pesticides are yucky, so I most probably won't do that. jump off a cliff? or river? or building? would Wisma Sanyan be high enough to give me the last few seconds of exhilarating joy of killing myself? maybe an accident is better, but then I don't want to drag other innocent people into my mess.. perhaps driving a car off the cliff? Too costly. Damn. I can't even decide on methods of committing suicide, let alone the act of committing suicide. Dang!

By now you must have asked yourself, what is the matter with this girl? What could be so bad that she can't handle it? Hmm.. since I haven't been blogging much, perhaps I should list them here, just for the heck of it.

1. Several deals I worked on has gone rotten.
Oookay... that's no biggie, rite? Rite. I thought so myself. I can always work on new deals. Better deals. Improvise. Yeap. I can do that.

2. Business kanasai (means like shit!).
This one's peanut also. No biggie. The economy is really bad now and many people out there are either just recently retrenched, fired, or un-employed. I am currently considered un-employed too. Never mind lar. Won't die what. Right? Right.

3. Mum slipped and fractured her right wrist.
Shit. This is terrible. The fracture was so bad, she needed an operation. To make things worse, it was on her right wrist - she's right handed and that means she uses her right hands a lot. To top that up, it was costly. Normal fractures requires internal fixation. Simply explained, you re-attach all the fractured bones together, screw them up with bolts and nuts or whatever it is that the surgeons use, and voila it would hold and on the way to recovery. Not in my mother's case. At this stage, we found out that she had osteoporosis. =.='' If the above-mentioned procedure is carried out, her bones would fracture into smaller fragments due to extreme porosity. T_T So, external fixation must be done, and it is more expensive and painful but heals faster.

I will blog about the operation in other posts so I'll cut the story short here. Since the operation she needed 6 weeks time for the bones to grow back and to have the external fixation released. In that 6 weeks time, we took turn taking care of her. I stayed with her most of the time cause I wasn't working full time and my time is more flexible. She needed help bathing, changing clothes, grooming and everything else in between that you can think of. I paid the bills, water the plants, ran errands, became her driver and did some of the house chores. My sisters took care of the rest house chores. During those time, we grew extremely tired and she, extremely agitated. She cried a lot, because she was in great pain and her hand was so swollen it hardly resembled a hand. I drove her practically everywhere to 'makan angin' cause Mum loves it and I enjoyed doing it. It took her mind away, just for a while.

6 weeks after the operation it was time to have the external fixation removed. It was such an ordeal I could not help but wince each time she grimaced from the pain. Out came the tears and blood (from her wound). I felt like my heart was out in my hands. The removal was done without any anesthetic and Mum said she could feel the steel grinding with her bones before being removed.

Then came the physiotherapy which is even more painful than before. Since Mum had not moved her right hand and wrist in 6 weeks time, it has gone really stiff and weak. She could not even hold a spoon to feed herself. Physiotherapy is needed to get it back to its normal functions. Again, lots of emo-ing and tears came pouring out and I accompanied her in and out of hospital on weekly basis. The physiotherapy sessions was done twice a week and each of them lasting about 1 to 1.5 hours. It was complete torture and my mum dreaded it.

If you think that's the end, my answer is no. More is to come. Read on.

4. My savings dried up.
By this time, a huge hole has burnt through my savings account. I bought a new pc cuz my laptop died on me and I still have to pay for my car installments. By this time I had only enough to sustain my car's installment. I don't have to pay the loan anymore in another few months time. Petrol is a killer nowadays. I need cash flow terribly. My dad offered financial support several times but I stubbornly turned him down. I can manage on my own, I told him. But deep inside, I was touched with his generosity and compassion. He may disagree with me on many issues, but he supported my decisions in silence and somehow, from deep within, I know he's somewhat proud of me. I'm like a son to him.

5. Friends kanasai (means like shit!).
I have several retard of a 'friends' who insisted that I buy branded presents for them even though they knew I wasn't earning anything. They thought that just because I wasn't working, I'm rich. Dang!

6. Trembling fingers...
My fingers swells on and off with great pain. Sometimes they tremble uncontrollably on their own accord, as if they had just been electrocuted. Using chopsticks became a nuisance. I could not carry heavy things. a 2kg bag feels like 20kg to me. Deep inside, I was greatly depressed. The disappointments and failures upon failures were chopping me, slicing me up deeply, without mercy. I grew tired of hoping, of believing that everything will be all right. It feels like I'm never entitled to success. By then, I couldn't even help my mum in her physiotherapy sessions. I couldn't massage her hand and fingers because doing so inflict similar pains in my own hands. I felt so useless.

7. My dad... passed away suddenly.
This... came as an utter shock. Dad was in good health. He was working, breathing, very much alive. I was getting ready to fetch him from the airport when I got a call from him. I thought it was him. It wasn't. It was a call from his colleague, informing us of the terrible truth. That was the shocking news. He had left us. For the first time in my life, my heart stopped beating. I stopped breathing. Time stopped. No God. No. Not now. Not yet. Why???

My mind could not comprehend. I drove numbly back home while consoling my mum in the car. She was already crying. Bad things happened one after another. Before it was her, now it's Daddy. Maybe it's a prank. Maybe they made a mistake. Maybe it's someone else. Maybe his phone got stolen. Maybe maybe maybes...

I did not shed a tear until the confirmation came. Yes. He had left us to be with Lord. I refused to acknowledge it. I refused to accept it. We packed in a frenzy. I gathered all of my sisters, and drove to Sarikei, regardless of my swollen, burning, painful fingers. That was the worse day of my life.

8. Ex-employer(s) kanasai (means like shit!).
Not long after Daddy's funeral, I received news of employment. My ex-employer seemed to be in favour of hiring me. I thought this was the light at the end of the dark, treacherous tunnel. Perhaps, the cloud will finally part ways and allow the ray of light, of hope to enter my life again. That, wasn't the case.

I found out soon enough that there were conflicts in the employment process. Dark, untrue rumors threatened to ruin my reputation, and they did. I can only pray that God will avenge me for these people had wronged me. They blamed me for their mistakes and incompetence and lost of profit. They created untrue stories, lies upon lies to cover up their ugly truths. The job slipped through my fingers.

9. Relatives kanasai (means like shit!).
Daddy's brothers had the nerve to tell us that we should simply buy the cheapest casket cause he's dead anyway so no point in wasting so much money. We refused and insisted on the best. It was our last chance to buy things for Daddy, our last chance to pay our respects, his last resting place. He had given us so much and we were told to give him as little as possible upon his departure? I could not do that. Not even with a gun pointed at my head. My sisters refused too. Mum wanted the best for Daddy and we all agreed.

Straight after Daddy's funeral ceremony, we headed home. As I had mentioned in one of my previous blog, we had just recently moved into a new house. It is a double storey semi detached house, newly renovated with modern designs and landscaped garden. Not only that, the rest of Daddy's brothers and their families had moved into new houses respectively due to a newly developed piece of land that grants each of them a new house. When they reached our house though, two of my Uncles rushed all over the house inspecting it. Then they rushed upstairs to look at the bedrooms, totally ignoring our dumbfounded looks. They did not even asked for permission to go upstairs. How could they do this? Is this the time for house watching? Don't they care how we feel? Are we statues? Their actions revolted me greatly. I do not want to have anything to do with them in the future.

Those incidents above really burn me alive. Until now, I have not settled down. Life was tough, but this feels like it's climbing a never-ending tough stairs. My mind is still a ball of huge, entangled messy ball with everything jumbled up, packed and highly compressed together. I cannot see straight, think straight. My mind is a raging ocean, the winds are howling, it was cold and dark. I was groping around. I have lost my way, my grip. Everyday was lifeless. This is difficult. I hate this year. I hate the year of golden ox. I'll never forget this fucked up year. I wish I could teleport myself out of this place, this time, this instance. This year sucks and everything in it sucks. When will I see a glimpse of hope? I do not know. I cannot concentrate on anything, and yet I need to settle down. Tell me, what should I do? I feel like such a moron myself for asking that question. Perhaps I have uttered the phrase way too many times, it has somehow etched itself into my life. Maybe I should start asking for a miracle instead, but I doubt that will happen. This is the beauty of life, it is ugly. And one can only knows the meaning of beauty AFTER you have known ugly, because without knowing ugly, there is no way for you to recognize beauty even when you see one. Am I making sense or am I not? This is how my brain looks like right now. Kanasai!

To be continued...

Cactus...

2009-09-14T16:41:00.004+08:00

I bought some cactus that caught my attention at the pasar tamu near Satok yesterday. I am delighted at the uniqueness of these cactus.. so much so that I bought 6 of them one go... You can see them here:-

I'm gonna transfer them over to new bigger pots tonite. I hope they can survive well under my care. Muahahaha *evil grins*

ICT Fair at OneTJ

2009-07-31T17:08:00.002+08:00

Went to ICT Fair at OneTJ around noon time just now. The fair started on 29 July - 2 Aug, I think.. cause I just glanced through the newspaper this morning(didn't really paid much attention to details). Anyway, the duration of the fair is... somewhat weird. A normal PC fair ususally takes 3 days, no more no less. At least that's the way it is here. So, why advertise in the paper on the third day and not the first? Or before?

I found out later on how empty OneTJ is, even with an ongoing so called ICT Fair. As usual, they throw in some cheap stuffs - memory card reader at RM1.90 and A4 Tech mouse at RM9.90. So hurry up before it runs out! The rest are just the usual stuffs, LCD monitors, speakers and whatnots. The card reader is restricted to 1 perchase per customer and is only available to the first 100 buyers. Latecomers will get the usual price, I think they are set at RM9.90. Anyway, I bought 2 of them for my sisters, and yeah, you guessed it right, the mouse is for my sis as well. I found her mini-mouse's wheel somewhat not functioning properly. But being the poor chap I am, I can only afford a 9.90 mouse for her. T_T

Actually, I was worried that we won't be able to buy those card readers. They were sold out like hot cakes during the previous PC fair and since I reckoned today is the 3rd day of the ICT Fair, chances of me getting them is slim. But hell, instead of 1, I got 2. Unbelievable.

Since they are so cheap, I just grab them without even looking much. Upon closer scrutiny at home though, I found that the card readers are of Tecom brand. My heart sank cuz I DO NOT believe in Tecom brands. They suck and they break like within days of using them.

I ever used a mouse and keyboard of Tecom made - supplied by the silly management who entrusted the job of purchasing to a bunch of sly foxes who cheats at every chances that they got - the mouse went bonkers within 3 days of usage and the keyboard only lasted 5 days.

Having said all that, I hope the damn cheap card reader will survive longer than its worth of money. Sheesh!

This is life...

2009-07-29T13:47:00.002+08:00

Warning - emo post. You'll be getting lotsa emo posts as of late. I can't hold them in anymore.

~~~

I popped back up again. And this time for good reason. During my absence, I've noticed several followers tagging me. Being a bit blur myself, I am unsure to the reason why they tagged me, because most of them are from twitter. I remember removing twitter box from my blog due to some problems (I can't remember exactly what, oh dear). Then I found out that I added my blog address to my twitter, so I figured whoever added me must have noticed my blog somehow. I'm a klutz. I don't even remember doing that. But people are still reading my blog, albeit the number is somewhat small.

Life has been EXTREMELY rough this year. In fact, the Golden Ox year is the worst year in my whole life (no kidding). I've been through so much, the experiences are making me numb to the very core.

I had wanted to blog about them, but I'm not ready yet. Right now, I'm ready to blog again, but I won't talk about them till I'm ready. What this literally means is that I'll be blogging about anything else but these until I am ready. Hmm... this is confusing, no?

I used to think that life is useless, meaningless existence. You're born into this world, eat, play and sleep, grows up, studied half dead, then worked your ass off only to find that suddenly you're an old, dried up wrinkled raisin that's equivalent to being dead. So you played, worked, lived and died. And along came pain, anger, sadness, happiness, and all those craps in between. So what?

At the tender age of 10, my conclusion of life is that human kinds are better off dead, this world totally wiped out, leaving a total darkness to befall this empty space. That spells peace, somehow. Right?

10 years later I found a new meaning to life. No words can describe that.

Another 10 years later, I am like : Oh fuck, everybody is better off dead anyway, including me. There's just too much pain. Damn.

Perhaps I am being too emotional. Oh yeah, I am sensitive. Straightforward. I said the truth even when it hurts. But hell, who the fuck appreciates that. =.=''

I hope God's new kingdom comes quick. At this point, the Humans are beyond help. The Ga-Men is corrupt. The Politeeshens are idiots and law exists to protect the bad people. Mou Ngan Tai.

Life SUCKS!!!

Hypocrites

2009-04-20T20:00:00.002+08:00

Dictionary.com defines Hypocrite as...

hyp⋅o⋅crite

–noun

1.	a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

2.	a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

Origin:
1175–1225; ME ipocrite < class="ital-inline">hypocrita < class="ital-inline">hypokrits a stage actor, hence one who pretends to be what he is not, equiv. to hypokr(nesthai) (see hypocrisy ) + -tēs agent suffix

Related forms:

hyp⋅o⋅crit⋅i⋅cal, adjective

hyp⋅o⋅crit⋅i⋅cal⋅ly, adverb

Synonyms:
deceiver, dissembler, pretender, pharisee.

If you ask me, I'd say that hypocrites are the most despicable people in this world. The goody-two-shoes, the self-acclaimed righteous person who never acts or do what they preach. The people who thought that they are better and on higher grounds when in actual fact, they belong to the deepest-rock-bottom-pit-of-hell.

The best example I can give here are those people who chided me for cussing. Allright, I do cuss, I swear, I curse - in multiple languages in fact. So what?! At least I am honest, straightforward and direct. I don't pretend, I don't tell lies, I don't act nice at the front and then go and stab people at their backs, killing them off silently, like cowards. I don't kiss asses, I don't lick boots, and no, I don't angkat pelir. I'm 101% sure I'm better than those bitches who NEVER swear or curse but expertly manipulates people and situations into their advantages, back-stab people and "friends" alike, tell lies and God-knows how many tonnes of other horrible stuffs.

I'm proud to say that I cuss because I'm angered by the injustices that I see in daily lives. I am upset by the way some people behaves. I am perturbed that the society nowadays has degraded to such inconsiderable behaviours. I stand high and tall and I do not waver just because I called an asshole ASSHOLE and a bitch BITCH because they are what I called them, precisely.

You don't like me just because I cuss?

Then go bang your silly-mutated-retarded-sorry-excuse of a head to the wall and die already. Like FUCK I care.

Hurry up and go rot in some corner of the hell, cuz that's exactly where you belong. Geez!!!

Long absence.. and lonnnggg story...

2009-04-19T16:45:00.002+08:00

Whoa... that's a super long absence! I'm surprised that my blog is still here.

*peeks*

By now I'd have expect it to just disappear into thin air - as most things did after a while of inactivity. Besides, it has been so long.

Well, my blogging brain is up and running again so I guess I'll start blogging, again.

I do wonder though... how long is it gonna stay this time?

What do you think? ~___^

Hopeless...

2008-08-27T00:22:00.000+08:00

Today is probably one of the worst day of my life. Never in my life had I ever felt so hopeless. So mad. So pissed off. So speechless. So dumbfounded. Bewildered. Unbelievable.

OH MY GOD.

If only I was the one in charge.
If only I was the one in authority.
If only I was there.
If only I was given the mandate.
If only I was given the chance!

Why can't they perform?
Why can't they deliver?
Why can't they just DO what they claimed they can do?
Why can't they solve meagre, insignificant, peanut, chicken feet problems?
Why can't they think?
Why don't they think?
Why is it that they never think?
Why don't they just USE their BRAINS?!

Geeez.. someone please point a gun at me and SHOOT ME DEAD. I really mou-ngan-tai. I can't bear to see all these nonsense. Shit.

Seriously, I sincerely believe that even snails crawl faster and have better brains than these bunch of morons. UGH!!!!

My Laptop is dead...

2008-08-25T21:04:00.000+08:00

I'm sad to announce the death of my beloved laptop. It's barely 2 years old. It has worked very very hard for me. Thus the tragic ending. =P Well.. actually it was attacked by spywares, blaster worms AND trojans. Seriously I'm still quite 'blur' about the origin of all these attacks. I've been visitting my favourite sites (paultan.org and gsmarena, among a few) when my poor poor lappy was attacked viciously by all these slimes. T_T

My poor lappy stopped breathing last night. I was really sad cause of the huge collection of anime that died together with it. Oh well, maybe I'll get it opened up tomorrow.

Am blogging thru my pda. At least I can still manage. Otherwise I'll feel really handicapped. hahaha

Blocked again?

2008-08-22T20:42:00.005+08:00

I've got a problem. I think. I'm having problem thinking up the title for the post I'm making. Is that a sign that my brain is slacking or am I just being plain plain lazy?

=P

I don't know. I hope someone will tell me. I'd appreciate that very very much.

How's your day today? Mine is... hectic. It's frustrating to realize that no matter how tired I am, I just can't afford to divert my eyes elsewhere for even a nanosecond cuz everything starts falling apart the moment I took a breather.

T_T

That is just so so so dreadful. Wei.. I'm not a robot. I'm human also. Why can't I rest? Why can't things just fall into place for just even once? Why is it that I always have to be at the heart of things???

If I have to keep doing all those things I've been doing all these while non-stop, I'm sure my heart will stop beating at the tender age of 30s.

Both my mobile phones batteries went flat before I even reach home today. Too many calls, too many sms-es, too many updates. Does that mean I better go buy another phone? You know, to act as backup. And I have to keep at least 5 pieces of RM50 reload cards in my wallet. I once reloaded RM130 on the spot and it was still not enough. Oh dear. My pocket is emptying fast. I'll start eating grass very very soon. T_T . If my deal is not sealed. Soon. *sigh*

One of my deal is getting really close to being sealed. I hope it seals tonight. Then I can relax for a bit and maybe try and get back to my normal sleeping pattern. Damn deal is killing me. Shhh.. sorry, can't tell you what deal it is about but I assure you.. it's definitely not drugs. Hahaha.. it is a legal deal and I'm just being a bitch for not telling you. At the same time, I want to experience for myself the thrills of keeping secrets. I used to be very transparent, honest and trustworthy. The thing is, I always have to keep secrets for my friends and not the other way around. I don't have much secrets to keep anyway cause I always tell people things but at least, this time, I want to keep this a secret.

Are you dying to know what's the secret deal now?

Kekeke..

I

AM

NOT

telling

you...

^___~

Hello World II

2008-08-21T21:38:00.005+08:00

Hi everyone. It's been a while. I mean, it's been ages. I almost forgot the existence of this blog all together. That's mean of me eh? *sigh*

Well, life has been tough. Very tough. I've been so busy working, I hardly get enough sleep anymore (do you call 3 hours sleep a day enough?) and I'm starting to feel like a zombie.

*looks back and slaps head*

I need my life back!!!

Haven't gone to cinema in a while. What's currently showing?

I think the latest movie I've watched is Wall-E. Nope. I didn't watch it in the cinema. It's not shown here yet, right? Or have I missed it? Anyway, Wall-E is cute, adorable and a romantic at heart. He sounds kinda ancient, looks ancient and feels ancient to me. But I like him for the way he is. Awww...

So, let me update you on the latest happenings in my life, kay?

I moved to a new house. Me and my whole family. It's a huge semi-d with a huge compound. Each of us got a room of our own, except for my parents, haha. They have to share. Kekeke... Has always been a dream of ours to have a house with large compound mainly to park all those cars that we have. I ended up buying a Viva cuz my old house compound can only house 2 cars at best. Really can't imagine buying a Honda Civic just to have it parked outside. My heart will be torn into two and I'll be constantly worrying about its wellbeing. Awww...
I quit my job. It's affecting my life cause I was so stressed and my instincts warned me that the unnecessary built-up pressure is really not worth working my ass off day in and day out. The job demand is crazy and totally impossible (only superman can do it). If I can make it possible then I may as well go open my own company. Aiseh...
Hahaha. Talk about opening my own company! Does that mean that I can actually do what's expected of me but I didn't do it because I just don't feel like doing it? Meanie! Hahaha.. Actually I did plan to setup some sort of business. My calculations told me that the amount of time I spent slaving myself to some big boss is not worth anything because when you compare the profit margin earned by the company/big boss to the salary that they pay you, it is so meager and does not play any significance at all. If that is the case, I wanna be the boss too! I finally setup my company with a business partner. Finding a business partner is SO HARD! And I am especially happy with the Company Number cause it has all the *p.r.o.s.p.e.r.i.t.y* number inside. I hope the company really prospers. Hahaha..
Since I setup my company I have been working on numerous deals but alas, none of them has materialized, yet. Some looks very promising but there are various other factors that control and determine the nasib of the ending. All I can do is just work hard, do my best and leave the rest to God. Hahaha.. God! Please help!!!

So, those are the major updates of my life. They seem to be nothing much but they mean a whole lot to me. Quitting my job and setting up a company is considered a very big deal to me so I'm really surprised that I actually had the guts to proceed when everything else seems so dark and uncertain. The darkness is there but I hope that whatever torchlight and candles that I bring with me is enough to guide me till the end of the tunnel. Nothing comes easy and it is even more true that nothing is free. Only God's love is free and unconditional. I mean, how many of us here can do things unconditionally? None. There is none. If you can, please enlighten me. ^___^

This post doesn't sound like me at all, eh? I'm all serious and work now. Had always been like this but didn't show much when I socialize cause I'd still show my crazy personality. Now? It's time for change. Change is good, no?

Hot spell in Kuching

2008-05-20T20:17:00.002+08:00

Jeezzz... it has been so HOT for the past two weeks. If I pray hard enough, if all of us pray hard enough, can we have snow here please?

*bats eyes*

Purreetttyyy puuuleeeezzzzeee??

Why is it so hot???

*looks around*

Ohh.. some retards are doing open burning, AGAIN.

They never learn do they?

On the other hand, what has the enforcers do about this? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

No fines. All talk no work.

Same ol' shit.

D-y-s-f-u-n-c-t-i-o-n-a-l.

I-n-e-f-f-i-c-i-e-n-t.

I-n-c-o-m-p-e-t-e-n-t.

L-a-z-y-b-u-m-s.

R-e-t-a-r-d-s.

A-s-s-h-o-l-e-s.

Ptfff.

...

Tax : Is it worth paying?

2008-04-11T23:29:00.007+08:00

I hate tax. I hate paying them. I mean what for? Just open your eyes wide wide and see what the government is using our hard earned money for.

Do they spend them wisely? No.

Paying hundred of millions just to buy the stupid ink from India all for the sake of a just election? Well, just my ass. I don't even see it used here. Haha. That's right. I voted and I didn't get my fingers/hands inked just to prove that I've voted. I wonder where did all those money go to???

One of the other reason that makes me so tu-lan is by sending monkey Ma into space. A so called astronut. What a waste of our damn money.

Look all around you. Do you see sampah bersepah all over the city/town? Yes. It's not clean at all. It's not presentable. Is the council doing their jobs? I saw how they do their jobs. Especially those sweepers. Instead of sweeping up the rubbish and tree leaves and whatnots, they swept it into the drainage holes by the roadside. Rubbish, leaves and everything. Don't they know that they are clogging the drains?? Nope. They have no brain cells. Their brain cells are either dead, half dead, damaged beyond repair, malfunctioned or MIA (Missing In Action). The least we can do is sympathize at them.

Instead, what did the government do when there's flash flood? What exactly did our leaders say when asked for comments about those floods?

*opens ears wide wide*

*turns volume up loud loud*

The engineers should do a better job at designing the road.

Oh sweet Lord. Please bury some wisdom into those half-brained assholes, even if it is just a speck of dust. Obviously, they are retards. I have no respects for retards. I can't, for the life of me, respect people with monkey brains, donkey brains and whatever it is that they have in their brains. Perhaps they are showing early symptoms of Parkinson disease? Brain damage at birth?

Shouldn't they be looking at those smart sweepers, or the so-called council workers? Why don't they go and dig out all those rubbish that they have plugged into the holes. Why don't they go and check if the road has been constructed in accordance to approved engineering drawings or not? Why don't they go and check whether the job was actually awarded to qualified Contractors who actually know their shits or not? Why don't they go and check and see with their own shit-plastered-eyes what exactly is going on?

Tell me again, why on earth do I have to pay tax that will be used to ensure that these fucked-up-pieces-of-good-for-nothings stay alive through the hardest and darkest moments of their pathetic lives???

I am no saint. And I refuse to be a saint for them donkeys. But rules are rules. Although it is very tempting to break them. Shall I?

Oh damn it. I still haven't fill in that forsaken Tax form. The root of all evil. Evil things are done because they know that there are money. Money comes from citizen. Whether it is hard earned or robbed, it is still money. And money is the root of all evil. Why can't they issue the fucking rule that ensures robbers to fill in the goddamn Tax form too? Robber is a form of profession. Come on dude, they did their jobs too. So why the fuck aren't they taxed? They live here, they breath the same air we do, they do their jobs, they get their money, and yet they are roaming free out there, spending as they wish, enjoying their motherfucking lives much more than we do, and they don't even have to pay the cheebye tax.

And even if they managed to get caught, the government is using our tax money to feed these motherfuckers in jail. Yep. Free nasi kari + drinks + room + transport. And whether the fuel price goes up or not, they are still fed.

We paid so much, and yet we don't feel safe. Crime rate is shooting up like there's no tomorrow. Everyday, people suffers and some dies. Murder cases. Amok cases. Robberies and rape cases.

Do you see our good policemen patrolling the cities and residential areas? Nope. I see them at kopitiam-s. Minum kopi. Taking their sweet time enjoying the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Or I see them hiding at some dark corners of the road. You and I both know what they are up to lar. Especially if it's near the mid or end of the month.

And before I forget, the numbers of fake policeman are rising as well. It doesn't matter if you know law or not. It doesn't matter if you know your rights or not. All it takes is for them to round you up, and scare you shitless into giving them whatever it is that they want, and they will escape, unhurt. Roaming around, freerer than birds. The same won't happen to you though. You'll be lucky if you're not hurt in the process. The law doesn't give a damn even if you get hurt in such cases. And if you hurt them(the baddies) in self defense, somehow the law will manage to come back and bite you at your butt faster than the law can go bite their nuts. Why? There is no justice lar. Justice my ass. You nailed them in self defense, then they will later on come back and haunt you: How come you have this in your house? Then you'll be facing charges of "mempunyai senjata berbahaya" shitty stories. And then your butt will be chewed and chewed till there is no more to chew and then they will move to your bones.

And oh, this is a bit out of topic, but I really can't help but marvel at paikia-s. Sometimes. I believe they are doing better jobs than police. I believe that they can do better jobs than police. Esp in terms of people tracking and investigation works. You won't believe their networkings man. And they are better equipped and more knowledgeable than the law enforcers.

Man. The world is indeed fucked up. Our government is fucked up. Our leaders are fucked up. Our systems are fucked up. Did I miss anything? What else are fucked up? What else aren't?

Tu-lan nye. Ma-deh.

-___-''

Maybe I should change my profession. Perhaps I should quit. Join mafia is better. Anything with power is better. Aiii...

Damn sien. I'm seriously disappointed. Words can't even begin to describe how I actually feel right now.

Pttfff...

Nim's Island

2008-04-10T17:12:00.004+08:00

Just came back from watching Nim's Island. It's entertaining all right, but to be really frank, this could have been better if it's fully animated instead of being done ala live action movie. Has it been done otherwise, I'm sure the magic and charm will work its way into the hearts of the viewers and leave a longer, lasting impressions than... what it currently does now.

But...

But but but... I really enjoyed the animals' cute, adorable AND funny behaviours! I especially love Fred (the lizard or was it iguana? Okok, I think it's a lizard; It's cheeky, kay-poh demeanor really adds a twist of fun in whatever situation it is in..) and the turtle (I'm a BIG fan of turtles, don't ask me why.) I also luv the scene where Fred climbed onto the turtle's head (at the opening of the movie) which irritates the turtle so much *snickers*

Oh, you'll hear Nim's (Abigail Breslin) voice narrating about how those two enjoyed irritating one another. Haha

Ok. Back on track. I concentrated too much on the animals. I mean, it's not everyday you see a sea lion that knows how to play football, a lizard that enjoys being catapulted into the enemy's zone, trying to act like a flying dragon, and a pelican by the name of Galileo, that happens to know just about everything a person needs in every situation. Yep. Sounds too good to be true eh?

The real story of Nim's Island is this : It's a secluded world, secretly owned (or at least they swear that they owned it) by only Nim and her father, Jack Rusoe (Gerard Butler) - a famous scientist or a marine microbiologist to be exact, who's so crazy about the one celled microorganism (I forgot what it's called) that his life revolves around it. It appears that he loses interest in whatever thing that has more than one cell (except his deceased wife and Nim). He's also a writer who occassionally writes in National Geographic about his fantastic little volcano in that tiny little island of his.

They built this amazing hut-like home, complete with electricity (solar powered) and internet connection (satellite linked). Nim grows up there learning everything about the nature through her own observations and interactions with the animals, and anything else (science, history and fictions) through endless supplies of books and internet and from her father. Her close friends includes Fred (the lizard), Galileo (the pelican) and ummm.. what's-its-name? (the sea lion).

And oh, they got their supplies of food and whatnots from a monthly supply ship, which I suppose is the ONLY ship that knows the exact location of the island.

Nim adores and worships Alex Rover, a hero who's very Indiana Jones-alike, born from Alexandra Rover's (Jodie Foster) wild figment of imagination. Alexandra Rover is one helpless agoraphobic writer who excels in writing. Does that make sense? Oh. In case you don't know, agoraphobic means she's agoraphobia : an abnormal fear of being in crowds, public places, or open areas, sometimes accompanied by anxiety attacks. She can't even get herself to open her apartment's door into the outside world. My goodness. Perhaps her confinement in her apartment gives birth to such vivid, wild and wonderful-totally out of this world imagination? Perhaps that's why she can write so well, express herself so well. She's so successful that she has her novels being translated into 62 (did I get it right?) different languages, sold worldwide. So successful, and yet so weird?

I can't help but shaking my head in disbelief among the fits of laughter while watching Jodie Foster's frantic, murderously dangerous comedy acts. Never has it crossed my mind that she can do comedy. And believe me, it doesn't sit well in my mind. I'm so used to her doing the full action-packed movies that watching her doing comedy is like watching Jim Carrey fully transforming himself into a Terminator. It's just way too opposite.

Oh well. To cut a long story short, Alex Rover found out that she has indeed been exchanging emails with a 11-year old Nim, whom she's mistaken to be Jack Rusoe's assistant, who's left all alone in the island when her father went out in search of his one celled microorganism and was stranded somewhere with a badly damaged boat and constantly being helped out by Galileo, the pelican. Alex somehow embarked on a journey to go and save Nim, only to be turned away when Nim found out that she's a woman instead of a he. By the way, Nim's the one who saved Alex when she's about to drown.

Jack somehow managed to go back to Nim safely. He met Alex, it's love at first sight, and the rest is left to your imagination. How does that sound to you?

My verdict? It's an okay movie. At least, it's better than Jumper. At least, I'm enthralled by the animals antics and Abigail Breslin's wonderful performance. I can't believe she's born in 1996. She's so petite and well, I really believed she's a 11-year old. Gerard Butler did a somewhat okay job as Jack Rusoe and also Alex Rover. I must be so blur because I didn't know both roles were done by him until I checked and double checked just now. Jodie Foster? I like her better in anything other than comedy. Her comedy acts are laughable, but it's just so unlike her. THAT just won't sit still in my mind no matter how much I adore her.

My ratings? I give it a 7 out of 10. If you are an adult with a childlike imagination, you'll somehow enjoy this movie. Old folks too will enjoy it, I believe. If you're a kid, you'll definitely enjoy it. If you're a pure adult, then this movie will probably sucks big time so you better not be heading to the cinema to buy the tickets for this movie.

Pssttt. Don't blame me if you don't like the movie. I'm just being frank, ok?

Worries worries worries

2008-04-09T21:36:00.006+08:00

I hate it when my phone rings. I hate it more when it rings at odd hours. I hate it even more if the number seems suspicious.

If I ignored it, would the ringing stop?

If I ignored it, would it stop whatever godforsaken news the caller bear from reaching me?

It's just a matter of time isn't it? Whether the news is bad or good, comes late or early, I'll still have to deal with it, right?

And yep. It's bad news all right. Whatever I don't wanna hear is bad news for me. Whatever I don't welcome IS bad news for me.

Did I make the wrong decision back then? Should I take them back?

I wouldn't.

Should I turn back time, unwind everything and undone everything?

What for?

Have I screwed up big time? Did I? OMFG!!! What the hell am I supposed to do? And to think that I did, actually, spent the whole night pacing up and down in my room, without sleep till morning came. I made my decision then. I was firm with it. I refused to back down.

That you certainly did.

Has it come back to haunt me?

Perhaps...

Shit.

I wish I have some lady luck with me. I need it. No kidding.

I wish I have some support. Some advice.

I wish someone or somebody would comfort me. Console me. Be with me. By my side. Assure me that everything will be okay.

Everything will be all right...

It's not your fault. It never was... so be strong...

But what if I really made the wrong choice? At such bad timing?! Pffftt!! Things couldn't get worse than this. Wait. Maybe they could. Oh fuck.

I hate dilemmas. I hate problems. I hate being strong. I hate being tough. I hate being in control. Cause that means making decisions. And if I made the wrong decisions, I'm seriously as good as dead.

What's the use of being the best troubleshooter if I can't solve my own damn problems?

*hopelessness*

*emptiness*

The darkness is all around me. Sometimes, I feel like falling apart. Perhaps permanent malfunction sounds like a good idea after all.

But no. I'm too prideful for that. I'll never go down that path if I can help it.

But really, I'm so tired. So so tired. Tired of the struggles. Tired of works and relationships. Tired of the relentless squabbles, the stupidity of the people that I encounter and deal with, the endless arguments, the senseless talks, the unnecessary pressures from all directions, the sky high expectations. I'm tired of everything. Today, I feel like breaking down, letting the darkness and hopelessness swallowing me alive. Engulfing me in the never-ending suffocation. The feeling of utter helplessness. My energy is draining out. My flames nearly put out for good.

Dear God. What have I done to deserve such endless torrents of onslaught? Enough already. I'm at my limit. I can take no more.

Just let me rest, okay?

I hope tomorrow never comes...

*crawls into bed*

New Template!

2008-04-09T15:46:00.002+08:00

I finally find myself a new template! I found it here. Oh I'm so happy! Zillion thanks to veerublog and infocreekblog. I'll put up the credits in my blog later on.

So, readers... what do you think of my blog's new look? Go on. Keep the comments coming in!

Are they morons or what?

2008-04-08T23:31:00.005+08:00

I took some time off to accompany my mum to the bank today. We went to MayBank, since it's the nearest bank to our house. I've been wanting to open a savings account for my mum since AGES ago. Among the reasons are:-

my dad has MayBank account
my sisters have MayBank accounts
I have MayBank account
easier transactions (especially when my dad and I are travelling)
it's a pain in the ass giving money to mum. Just bank it in, then she can't protest anymore, can she?
to save money lor. What the heck. It's for saving purposes, right?

Guess what? The ah moi in charge of opening the savings account for my mum asked us several irrelevant, unbelievably stupid questions:-

Stupid ah moi : Why are you opening a savings account?
Me : o.O
Mum : O.O
Me : I beg your pardon?
Stupid ah moi : Why are you opening a savings account? (She has this bizarre shocked look on her stupid face)
Me : (With a very straight face) Answer me honestly please. What ELSE can you do with a savings account??!
Stupid ah moi : Errm... transferring commission you earned or something?
Me : How the hell does that make your question relevant??! Can we open the #$%#@ SAVINGS account or what?
Stupid ah moi : Yes of course.
Me : Then ? What's your problem?

My mum chastised me for answering the lady so rudely. The point is, MY POINT is.. what the fuck is she asking? Of course you open a savings account to save your money. Doesn't the name implies that?? What other fucking thing can you do with it? Fuck it with money?!

Really. I can't believe the ways those geniuses think. They must have short-circuited or something. Kanneh. This is like asking people "Eh, why do you breath ar?" Oii tolol. If I don't breath I'll die what. Kanneh. Where's your fucking brain? You eat shit and you shit rice is it???!!

--------------

The above incident reminded me of my experience with the stupid bankers in UK back in my Uni years. One of them is this:-

Me : I want to close my savings account. Here are the documents.
Stupid moron banker : Do you want to take out all your money?

And he proceeded to stare at me lovingly. Which sent my blood boiling over 100 degrees. And all hell broke loose. Volcanoes erupted and the goddamn jerk was blown into thin air.

Me : OF COURSE I'M TAKING OUT ALL OF MY MONEY. WHO WOULDN'T WHEN THEY CLOSE THEIR BANK ACCOUNTS? ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? YOU FUCKED UP OR SOMETHING??? ARE YOU HIGH ON DRUGS?????

I remembered myself asking him those questions very very loudly and that earned me surprised looks from all the people inside the bank.

Stupid moron banker : Hey chill. I'm just asking okay...
Me : That's a FUCKING STUPID QUESTION okay! Do I look like an idiot??! Do you even know how to do the paperworks? Are you qualified to handle the job??!!

That embarrassed him no end. His face brightened to a shade of red brick and his supervisor was on his way over when he hurriedly went over and convinced him that everything is under control.

Shit.

Seriously. I believe they grow up eating shit, and when they shit, they shit out gold. What a wonderful world!

2008-04-07T13:22:00.003+08:00

Friends normally call their friends by their names. Mine calls me by my surname. Most if not all.

It doesn't matter how many times I told them to call me by my name. It applies to colleagues as well.

They always ended up calling me by my surname.

To be more precise, they call me "Miss [my surname]".

I've given up wondering why. I got fed up with it.

Am I unfriendly?

What? My name doesn't suit me?

Why is it so hard for them to call my name?

Am I so unapproachable?

Do I bite?

Damn.

My Perfect Major

2008-04-07T13:08:00.002+08:00

I find it hard to believe, but heck, I scored a 100% in Engineering. Does that mean I'd somehow, chosen the right path years ago?? >.<

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Philosophy

You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence.

Engineering

100%

Philosophy

100%

Mathematics

83%

Linguistics

75%

Anthropology

75%

English

75%

Psychology

75%

Theater

75%

Journalism

67%

Art

67%

Sociology

67%

Dance

58%

Chemistry

58%

Biology

50%

Catching up or not??

2008-03-18T08:21:00.002+08:00

Yo! Just popped in to tell you all that I'm still alive and kicking. ^_~

And yep. I do remember my promise on updating you guys on what happened during my absense. I'll just start writing and relate to them once in a while, okay?

And gosh! It's Tuesday already! One more day and it will be Public Holidays.

I can't wait for the holidays to arrive. With Thursday being Prophet Muhammad's birthday (did I get this right?) and Friday being a Good Friday, followed closely by Saturday and Sunday spells good news for me. Four straight days off work. I really can't wait.

I need my rest. Preeetttyyy badly.

I know I work too much. Too hard. Non-stop in fact. One flip of my diary and you'll notice that I have the entire month of March marked black, blue and red with pens and highlighters. That sounds bad enough? No it's not. I had it worse with all the bloody last minute cancellations by damn shitty clients. Cancellations, postpones, rebooking and all the hassle of rescheduling.

I beh tahan anymore.

Yesterday, I literally exploded over one petty issue. Yes. It's a petty issue. I won't dwell on the details, but the fact is, I can't stand ppl messing up on petty issues. It's so simple, there's no hassle, the person doing it doesn't have much work to do at all, and tell me please, how can they messed it up?

I can understand it if they messed up due to work overloads, but trust me, this fellow just sits there swinging her feet from side to side 7/24. I'm frigging amazed that she managed to screw up. And there she was, in my room, seeking empathy.

Guess what I did?

I opened fire.

Don't get me wrong ppl. If I empathized her, that won't be the last of it. There shall be 2nds, and thirds and more and more after that. I can't afford it, really.

Besides, whatever she does, it's slowing my progress and dragging me down. I hate that the most! I don't want my performance to be stalled by an incompetent fool who's wise enough to mess up especially at such a vital moment!

Aside from that, I had quite a good day yesterday. It was somebody's birthday and we ended up getting free lunch and dinner. The good food somehow calms me down emotionally but alas, in the dieting department it's really a big NO NO.

Oh by the way, have I told you that I managed to slim down? I'm not as fat as I used to be, but I still haven't reached my ideal weight and waistline of 2 years back. Gotta do more exercises.

Although I'd like to rant more, I guess I can't because my work is piling up. I'll probably peek in again tonight if I feel like it and my mood is good.

Till then, you'll have to go by with just these as updates. Have a good day everyone!

Happy Golden Rat Year

2008-02-10T17:27:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year everyone! *burns firecrackers*

So, how's your CNY celebration this year? Meriah or not? Got lotsa Ang Pows or not? NICE or not?

Me? Sorry people. I've totally vaporized from the Blogosphere for close to half a year. Just one month short and it'll be cun cun half a year. Do you miss me? Did you? Hmmm... It's good to have one less person who complaints as much as I do in the world, right? At least, it won't spoil your mood at all. See? I played such an insignificant part in this world. *sigh*

But but but...!! I've decided to continue complaining/blogging again.. Ain't that a bad news? Hahaha!

I'll tell you what happened during my absence from the Blogosphere but let's save that part for later okay?

Till then, please enjoy your CNY. I'll blog more some other day.

Ciao!

no blog posts for a while

2007-10-02T12:35:00.001+08:00

Hello everybody. This shall be a short announcement. I have decided to stop blogging for a while. I dunno for how long though. It could be days, weeks, months. It could be years.

Reasons being:-

- my gastric has worsened to the point that if I'm given a choice to make over life and death, I'll choose death
- I'm battling my overweight problem
- I'm tired all the time
- I can barely keep up, AND
- I'm hitting depression mode

So yeah, there won't be any updates for a while.

Not until I fixed myself.

*Runs all over the place hunting annoyingly noisy stray dogs and cats for massacre*

Ahhh... that feels better! *evil laughs*

Sorry for making you guys wait.

And thanks for your support all these while.

May God Bless Ya.

Amen.

JFPN 2 : Day 2

2007-09-24T20:48:00.000+08:00

Minna san! Here's what I had today!

Breakfast
- 2 half boiled eggs
- 2 pcs of toasted bread with kaya & butter
- milo

Snack
- coffee bun

Lunch
- white rice
- steamed "fu gui" fish
- pickled vege (lak chai)
- stir fried cabbage

Dinner
- white rice
- steamed "fu gui" fish

Desert
- 2 pcs of red Dragon fruit

Snack
- 2 pcs of swiss roll
- half glass of Full Cream Milk

Ummm... I do eat too much eh?

-___-''

And umm... I did tell my mum yesterday that I'm gonna eat vege only cause I wanna jien fei but today she prepared fish for me instead of the normal meat cause she said fish won't make me fat wor. I relented because I have a weak heart and the fish meal just looks too tasty to be ignored and my nose was wreaking havoc in my mind.

T_T

I was really drooling by then. Awww... the flesh and blood is indeed very weak. Help me GOD!!!

JFPN 2 : Day 1

2007-09-23T18:40:00.000+08:00

Muahahaha. JFPN 2 stands for "Jien Fei Project Number 2"!

Here's the list of food I ate today!

Brunch
- red wine mee sua (kampua style)
- 2 hard boiled eggs

Snack
- 3 pcs of Garlic Bread
- half glass of Full Cream Milk

Dinner
- white rice
- preserved bean curd
- omelette with onions
- chicken soup with mushrooms
- ladies fingers

Jien Fei Project Num 2!

2007-09-23T12:34:00.000+08:00

I've decided. I'm going on diet. Is that how you guys put it? Hn. I'll shed those fats no matter what. Those stubborn fats that has been bugging me for months! I can't stand them anymore!

So, I'm jien fei-ing. Direct translation from chinese means "cut fat". Equivalent to shedding fats. Slimming. Keeping fit. What ever you wanna call it. I'm getting my old shape back!!!

I know I know. I've tried to jien fei before. It failed miserably. So, I'm gonna try new methods since all my usual methods aren't working their charms anymore.

New methods:-
- No meat consumption for 2 weeks
- Only have 2 meals per day
- Take more fruits and fibre based food eg vege and etc.
- Walking or jogging for 1 hour everyday!!

My food intake shall only consists:-
- veges
- fruits
- liquids

For veges I guess I'll stick to corns, baby carrots, green beans and potatoes.

I'll only take bananas and apples for fruits. Heck, I can practice apple peeling too. (Y-E-S! I can't peel apple skins even if my life depended on it okay... so wat?)

Liquids? Hmm... soup and drinks count, right?

Nyah!!! I'm cutting down on carbohydrates too. Serves me right for abusing my food consumption. I'll never do that again!

Start date : 23 September 2007
End date : 7 October 2007

And to make sure that I keep to my project, I'll post on my food intake on daily basis. So if I'm not sticking to my plans, you guys can all bash me with whatever weapons you want!

Last but not least, wish me luck! And don't forget to pray for me! =.=

Ajiten's food getting lousier and lousier...

2007-09-23T09:21:00.000+08:00

I brought my whole family for a full Japanese dinner at Ajiten last night.

The food was a disappointment.

The price went up.

The services went down.

Food portion was smaller than usual.

No more refill for green tea as well.

Even though they have just renovated their establishment, I don't think I'll go there for a long long time.

Yuck.

does my blog lack anything?

2007-09-22T21:15:00.000+08:00

You know. Occasionally, question like this jumps out of nowhere. I can't escape from it. As much as I don't mind, this question never fails to amuse me. Yeah, I guess curiosity kills the cat. But I'm not a cat, so does that apply still? Haha...

I went to the Mdm. Tang cafe for a lunch gathering with a couple of my friends today. Well, we're supposed to have 6 peps (including me) but well, the other couple couldn't make it cause they were sick (or at least 1 of them was sick, is sick...) and the other one had to go back to Sibu. Although it's just the three of us, we had a nice long chat from everything to anything. It was great. I miss a good talk with fellow friends. It's a good form of stress relief.

They even teased me to take pics of the food that we ordered so that I can post them up in my blog. I know I know. My blog is really kinda dead. Quite dead.

My digicam was perched somewhere in my room. Collecting dust. My passion in photography died quite sometime ago. Hmmm. I wonder what killed it?

They even gave me a hint : Pictures! Post more pictures!! That's the only thing your blog lacks of!!!

-_-'' I don't know why guys, and I hate it but it seems that I'm the only one who has the utter misfortune AND inability to access blogger.com be it to post new writings or just upload pictures. Sometimes, it took me days just to access my account and by the time I managed to do so, I've totally forgotten what I wanted to write cause I was so pissed off.

And I hardly get comments because most of my readers have such horrible experiences trying to comment on my posts (they told me themselves... ;_;). I guess that's another turn off eh? *sigh*

Besides, I haven't been blogging as much as I'd have preferred.

I just realized that I've worked too hard. I travel too much. I'm too tired to be able to do anything once I finished my tasks. I've used every single cell in my brain to memorize, to remember, to adjust and re-adjust all the activities, rescheduling and keeping track of all the shits at work. I've sapped my stamina and energy dry by worrying about trivial matters that won't earn me even an extra cent. So much so that I hardly have time to socialize. I hardly have time to blog. I hardly have time to stop and chat, to know what's going on around me. I hardly have time to go shopping. I hardly have time for anything fun or relaxing.

I miss the time when I had the chance to play badminton with my friends. I miss the outings, I miss the yam cha sessions with them. I miss the chats. The gossips!! Going to cinema for a movie. Taking a brief walk in the garden. Gatherings and gatherings and more gatherings. With friends, colleagues, ex-colleagues, old friends and etc etc.

Gosh I feel like a zombie. I sound as if I don't have a life. I sound so dead and mundane. Now, who the hell would want to read my blog the way it is?

Are you sure you are reading what I'm writing? You didn't come here by accident? Like you really come to check out on what I write?

Awww... thanks. Whether you genuinely care for me or you're just dropping by cause you're kaypoh and you want to find out the latest news and gossips, whoever you are, tenkiu.

Now now. Are you pissed that you read all this nonsense just to get me saying thank you to you? Be grateful now okay! At least I said thanks!!!

Aaaa... gomen. I'll think up of something. It appears that I need some adjustments to my own life. So gimme some time to put things back the way I want them to be. If you decided that you like my kinda crap, then come back often. You don't have to tell me who you are. The numbers of visitors are sufficient enough.

Thank you.

*bows low low*

recovering

2007-09-16T19:46:00.000+08:00

Yo! I'm making slow progress, but I'm recovering from the food poisoning.

Will post more once I feel better....

food poisoning..

2007-09-14T13:29:00.000+08:00

Gasp! They poisoned me! They did! They did!

Who else but the Philippines... gosh!

I was feeling extremely uncomfortable after having lunch with them at 1.30 PM yesterday. The assault started full swing at 4++ PM. I had diarrhea and vomited non-stop since 4.45 PM yesterday till 4 AM this morning. Wah lao eh!!! Talk about drastic fat-riddance. It's a good thing I'm made tough, unlike some sotong out there. But still, it's taking its toll on me.

I'm sleep deprived. I haven't taken anything since lunch at 1.30 PM yesterday till 10 AM this morning. To tell you the truth, I was actually starving but I stopped myself from eating anything because I know all of them will ended up in the toilet bowl. The food will be churned in my stomach (making matters worse for me) and then dumped out of my system thru diarrhea (more time in toilet) or vomit (also more time in the toilet). If this goes on for 3 days in a row, I'll definitely see my dream slim figure pretty soon.

But NO!!! I can't stand that! I won't have this! This is PURE torture! I'd rather be fat than suffer through this. This countless lau sai episode is killing me! It seems like I spent more time with the dang toilet bowl than in the bed! Heck, I'm starting to smell like toilet itself. Ewwww!!!! Pui!

I woke up at 6 AM today and the first thing I did was rush all the way to the toilet. Lau sai again. Wah piang eh! Die lor like this.

I kept doing that till 8.30 AM. Even as I checked out from hotel... even after putting all my luggages in the car... I rushed all the way back to the hotel to lau sai. UGH!

Sped all the way to the pharmacy and bought the chinese medicine to stop the diarrhea. Took two bloody sachets of them and guess what? The medicine is marvelous. I've stopped lau sai all together!

Awesome!

By the way, I flew back to Kuching this morning. It's a wonder that I didn't vomit inside the plane.

Now, I'm back at home in Kuching. Hugging my soft fluffy pillows. Sinking myself in MY nice comfy bed. Breathing in the scent of home sweet home and being pampered silly by my mum.

It's good to be home! Healthy or not, it's ALWAYS good to be home.

AAAaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

psssttt : I'm not going to the office later on. Pah... ;P

losing respect in guys, especially engineers

2007-09-12T17:44:00.001+08:00

I just got back an hour ago from a site visit. The very much promised site visit with my company's constractor. The moment I reached the site though, I felt nothing but a pang of disappointment. I totally lost respect for the Engineer (let's call him EJ) who's supposed to man the site there.

What? I've gone to take care of other sites (fully relieved that the EJ is going to take care of the site here) for two weeks and I came back to a total ruins.

The things (some called it Scope of Work) that EJ's supposed to cover on the site has been totally neglected.

The site looked worse than before. Before that it looked okay. Acceptable. Now? *shakes head*

And a reliable source reported to me that EJ has not gone to the site for close to a week.

I confirmed this too because whenever I called him for the past few days and asked him where was he, the answer is always "At home...".

Either that, or he never answers my phone calls. Never replied my sms.

*rolls eyes*

I asked him why didn't he go to site or office and I get the silent treatment. No explanation. No excuses. No reasons. Just silence.

THAT's one of the reason why I can't accept Engineers as my boyfriend (not that I want him to be my bf, he's old, he's dark, he's ugly, and he's married . As friend (to a certain extend) yes, but boyfried - no. Potential husband? BIG NO NO!

MOST of them are NOT gentlement in ANY way. They excelled in being totally irresponsible and can score 101% in cheating, lying and boasting competition.

Number 1 male chauvinist pigs. Yeah they are always right. Yeah nobody can prove them wrong. And yeah, they have the ultimate say.

*S-P-A-T!!*

If they are none of the above, then they are plain plain stupid.

Only a precious 3% of them are the kind, nice, gentlements that they are. Fully responsible, friendly, easily adapting to surroundings and very cooperative...

Back to reality though,...

AND he dares to tell everybody that it's my job to be full time on site. He stated ever so loudly that HIS job is to sit in the office.

O.o

OMG! OMG! OMFG!!!!!

Guys. Tidak tahu malu punye binatang (translate : animals who know no shame). So bloody thick faced.

Should I send him back to Philippine?? Because other than lazing around, boasting and pushing reponsibilities to every possible directions, I don't see him doing anything worth mentioning. At all.

*breathes in deeply... deeply... deeper still...*

Oooo... a challenge eh?

*evil grins*

It's about time. I've been bored half dead without any interesting "happenings".

Hn. I'm contemplating two things :

1) write formal letter to his boss and cc to mine, or

2) write a full length report and submit them to my boss and his boss and then cc to anybody else with enough perks / interests to read...

... spicy... should be. Right?

It's HIS job to take care of the site. Transfer of technology so as to speak. He knows all the specification. Supposedly. I've been told he's the expert. He's supposed to help us setup the site. So, how can you setup the site by being absent from it?

My job? My job is to check on him. To make sure he's not slacking off. That he's really giving us the very much needed input. My job is to tell him the norms of how we get things done here. The procedures. The proper channels to go for in order to get things done. The various government departments and agencies involved. My job is to prepare the countless paper works and frigging documentations needed to get the goddamn things done.

His job? Providing input. And he has the audacity to tell people that I should be on site? Do I need to be on site if I can't give input? It's his job! HIS job! To teach my underlings how to get things done. To train them. My job is to monitor them!

Fuck him. All of them got their priorities wrong - including his moron of a boss and his colleagues. They got their pictures, their BIG PICTURES painted upside down!

I'm sooo tempted to start a full fledge war. It'll be interesting to see their reactions. I can't wait. And even as I'm typing now, I can't help but thinking and considering the things that I should put in the report. *giddy*

Yeah. I'm bad. That much I admit. So don't fucking mess with me!

p/s : An advice from me to all guys out there. If you don't know how to do your things, don't act as if you know. And even if you know your stuffs, don't EVER end up bullying girls. Because only low life losers and filthy sscums do that. Where's your honor as a man huh? Where the fuck is it?! Fucking losers. Yeah. You're one mother fucking loser if you've ever done any of those stuffs mentioned above. Pushing responsibilities away. Lying. Cheating. Double standards. Biased. Acting that you're always right. Never admiting your mistakes. (Gosh!The damn list is endless! Grrr..)

school days : naughty moments...

2007-09-12T10:50:00.000+08:00

Hahaha. I'm browsing through my own blog just now and gosh! I've written so many angry and angsty posts. They sounded miserable and yep, I haven't done anything fun in quite a while. So, I'm thinking about writing something funny, which is, at the same time, downright honest and true. Memories... Ah! They surely bring me back to those good ol' times that I miss so much. Hahaha

So, which ones should I write about? Hmmm... how about my naughtiest moments in school times? *giggles* HEhehe, I DO have many naughty things to confess. They are nothing serious,... or at least I think they aren't..heheh

Zeng zeng zeng zeng!!! Ladies and gentlement,

I present to you, my naughtiest moments in Primary school... mwahahaha!

!) My Maths teacher once knocked my head with his knuckle cuz I was slow in solving the Maths problem in class. That was in Primary 4. I was furious! How can you expect me to give you answers in 2 seconds time! I got my revenge the next day when the teacher came to school with a swollen and totally yellow tainted right butt. He had a nasty "boil" growth (also known as furuncle) and the yellow stuff is actually the iodine. I stabbed his butt AT THAT PARTICULARLY YELLOW PLACE using my mechanical pencil (yeah, OUCH!) and then ran around the classroom with the fuming teacher chasing me all around! Muahahaha!

boil² (boil) Source of Ref.
n. A painful, circumscribed pus-filled inflammation of the skin and subcutaneous tissue usually caused by a local staphylococcal infection. Also called furuncle.

2) I loved to twist two pieces of staple's bullet to form this nasty protruding wire that pricks you when you sit on it. I made heaps of them and then place them on the teacher's chair. Our hypothesis that she's a dinosaur was confirmed when she sat on it and didn't suffer anything. Later, we checked the chair and saw that all the wires I placed there was totally pen-chek. Totally flat!!! It was confirmed then that she has butt as coarse as elephant's feet and that her butt somehow exudes "chi". Awesome.

3) Me and my classmates (several naughty ones lar) played hide-and-seek with the very same Maths teacher I mentioned above. The only thing is, we hide the rotan (translate : rattan. It's used to beat students to make them behave themselves) instead of ourselves. And we're very cooperative too. We won't tell nor give away the location of the rattans even after minutes of interrogation and persuasion. The teacher got so mad, he went next class to borrow theirs. *sigh* wasted effort.

4) I used to put a little bit of colgate on my palm for the teacher to can. The colgate helps to ease the pain. You hardly feel painful when they canned you.

5) I used to "copy" during Chinese tests. ONLY in chinese tests!!! My chinese sucks big time okay! My Primary 3 chinese teachers always warned us "Don't copy or you'll get 0%!!" Alas, all the students sitting on the same table with me got 100%!! We copied faster than photostating machine the very moment the teacher turned his head away! Hahaha!

6) I played "seremban" while my Pendidikan Moral teacher was teaching in the class. I was challenged and I couldn't resist it. I threw the "stone" too high and in the end, almost failed to catch it. But hor, I stood up and jumped to the front to catch it just to prove that I could do it. The moment I caught the stone though, my Moral teacher was screaming "What are you doing!!!" at me. I won the challenge but teacher caught me on the spot. I was canned 10 times on each palms. Nyeh. Hardly even feel it. Blehhh!

Note : Seremban is a game consisting of those 7 little stones/biji dabai kids used to play with long long time ago. You can even use rubber seeds. All you have to do is pick one stone, throw it up high high, and then tried to grab the rest of the rock either one go or in a combination of numbers and then re-catch the one that you threw up earlier together. If you failed, you lose and have to wait your turn next.

7) I was a prefect in Primary 6 and I had this nasty look + death stare that can melt anybody with a weak heart within seconds. Pssstt. I was naughty and super bad tempered at the same time. Students were so scared of me that they cowered when I tahan them. I always coed to them "Sing me that song you sang just now. It's sooo niccceeeee..." *evil grins* Gosh. I was evil. Evil still. Kehkehkeh

8) Apparently, I was so nasty that students stopped running within 10m radius surrounding me. They cabut as soon as they were out of my range though. My friend once told me that they were afraid that I'd throw that stick in my hand and pierce their body through with it. Back then, I had pure brute strength and damn cun accuracy. -_-''

9) I shouted "She's ah bui, she's ah bui. You can beat her!!!" to my friend during a badminton competition with other schools. My friend was playing single and her opponent was this fat tall girl who delivers very powerful shots, long range and knows how to chua chi (makes you run up and down to waste your stamina). I was a great supporter to my friends okay. In the end, she lost but yeah, we enjoyed the game. By the way, the ah bui has grown into this lovely sexy soft spoken young lady and we're good friends now. Ahaks! Long story. Tell you in future posts kay. *wink wink* Yo! You know who you are yah! Kekeke...

When I graduated from Primary school to Secondary school, I thought that I would change. I changed from brute strength to foul mouthed. Cheeky. Here, my naughtiest moments in Secondary school...

1) I did my Add-Maths homework during Biology class and my Biology homework during the Add-Maths class. When both teachers caught me asked me why did I do that, I told themt that their classes are boring and I needed something "chee kek" to make my brain functions. Besides, the homework's due soon.

2) I played chess at the back of the classroom with the badass arrogant guy in our class while our stupid Geography teacher (we called him Cikgu Rojak) was teaching at the front. That was in Form 2. I challenged the arrogant guy to a match cuz the damn guy was screaming "CHECK MATE" while the teacher was teaching and since the teacher didn't care nor say anything, I joined him. After all, the teacher's a jerk. Oh yeah. That, and he taught us about "ubi kentang" for 4 days in a row (damn idiot forgot where he stopped at the end of each lesson and so, he repeated the same shits day after day until somebody in our class corrected him... duhhh).

3) I slowly walked ten rounds around our school's football field just cause the damn PJ teacher insisted on it eventhough I was having gastric. Otherwise, he'll fail me. See what cruel teachers we had back then? I made him wait whole morning though, he was so furious I could see him trembling by the road side. Hahaha! Pssttt... it was drizzling then too... Muahahaha!

4) I once argued with both my Sejarah (translate : History) and Geography teachers about the tests I did. As you might have known, in History, we learnt the ancient names of the places and then in Geography, we learnt the current names of those countries. Well, I mixed them up (cuz I was nervous and time was running out) and both teachers marked me wrong. I put Historical names in my Geography test and current names in my History test. My argument with the teachers was that both names are correct : One being their old name, and the other being their current name. And the location of those places hasn't changed. So, I know that the mineral was situated at that place. Old names or current names or not, the place I pointed out was correct! Hence, they SHOULD NOT mark me wrong! Both teachers were dumbfounded and in the end marked me correct just to rid me from further pestering them. I can be very persistent ya know. ;P

5) I was so lazy to bring the whole damn textbooks to school cuz they are heavy and more often than not, the goddamn teachers didn't even use it. So, I photocopied the textbooks (shrinked 2 pages on 1 side page, which means that there are 4 pages on just 1 piece of paper, both sided) and only bring the chapter that the teacher's teaching to school. I had trouble with my History teacher though. He wanted me to bring the whole real ORIGINAL textbook. I told him it's heavy, I was damn poor, I could't afford it, bla bla bla. In fact, I did have it okay. My creative answers bemused him no end and I ended up being called to answer his questions EVERY frigging time he was teaching in my class. He said that my answers intrigued him and it's a very good basis to study History. Pah!!!

He also said he'll kill me himself if I didn't get 1 in my SPM Sejarah. I scored 1. Phew. Which is the reason why I'm able to blog now. =P

Ahhh... memories... Such beautiful memories...

So, tell me wallies... are you entertained?! Haha!

gym or no gym?

2007-09-12T10:29:00.000+08:00

Good morning people. Rise and shine.

How's your day? Mine? As usual. Boring. I'm still waiting for the contractor to come and see me. I hate waiting. *drums fingers on the table*

While waiting for the Snailey (the contractor lor) to come, I dwelled in the thoughts of slimming down. Of course, there's no way I can slim down by merely thinking about it only. I need to do something and I need to do them fast.

Either I cut down on my eating, or I exercise. Starving myself to death is out of the question because I have gastric and that means constant eating, in small portions and on time basis. Don't get me wrong. I do like sweet stuffs, eg. ice creams, chocolates and drinks but I don't take them excessively. In fact, I can't stand taking too much sweets myself. I don't eat junk food such as snacks/keropok/cuttlefish and etc etc (apart from ice cream and peanuts) and I don't take sweets nor chewing gums. Exercise as in going to gym. I believe right now, I'm at the fattest stage in my entire 28 years of life here on earth. I have to shed those extra fat fast fast before I resort to cutting down on what I'm eating.

Why? I've tried cutting down on my food intake. To my utter horror, what used to work wonders on me is not working anymore! If before, I'll lose weight by merely cutting down on my food intake, now it makes no difference at all.

;_; I really really really feel like crying. So now I have to try gym. Gosh. I really dislike gym ya know. But I have no other choice. It's either I go jogging, or I go to gym. Should I try jogging first before I go to gym?

Aaaarrrggghhhhh... H-E-L-P!!!!!!

Helicopter ride in Sibu

2007-09-11T22:48:00.001+08:00

I took these pictures a while back during my last visit to Sibu. For those of you sua-pa-lang who has never been to Sibu/Sarawak, feast on.

We went to the Sibu Airport because the helicopter was "parked" there.

The VIP waiting room at the airport while we waited for the heli ride. We reached there in 2 groups so we had to wait our turns. ^_^

Uwah! My first helicopter ride in Sibu!!!

This picture shows the place further away from Sibu town. It's full of residential areas and the two enormously huge buildings (blue roofing) are actually the shopping complexes (Farley, the largest in Sibu, on top right of the pic and Sin Kwong, newly opened, at the bottom of the pic)

Ladies & gentlement, this is Sibu town in all its grandeur... \^o^/

A closer look as we approaches... The two tall buildings are Tanahmas Hotel and Premier Hotel. They are quite famous in Sibu, both in terms of services provided and also serving as landmarks.

When we flew past Tanahmas Hotel we circled this magnificent building called Wisma Sanyan. Most of the government offices eg JKR are located in this building. This is also the place to be if you're looking for CDs and DVDs to buy. Also housed the famous Korean dining area called Magna and the ever famous Chinese Restaurant called Blue Splendour at the ermm.. 4th or 5th floor.. haha.. my bad, I can't remember. =P

And... just to present to you the longest river in Sarawak, the Rajang River

Breathtaking isn't it? No??

We landed at the back of Wisma Sanyan. It's quite a walk away though. ;p

Now now... enough pictures already? So, how ketinggalan zaman are we Sarawakians eh? Not very much so right?

After this, don't go to any Sarawakian and ask the number 1 dumb question : Do you live in jungles, caves, trees? I'll tripple slap you!!! Macamlah we so damn advance, can live in caves and still log on to the net and post them pictures and update blogs huh? Where's your brain huh? Mana you sembunyi ooii?! Where?!

Ahahaha... I got a bit carried away. So if you wanna go to Sibu, gimme a shout! Draw you maps I shall. Hmmm...

drawing

2007-09-11T20:40:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you've drawn something? Doodles perhaps?

To be honest, I haven't drawn anything in a while. Sketches of site layouts, yes. Those are mainly 2-Ds. I used to draw lots of cartoon animals. Cute stuffs like Fido-dido too (bleh... used to be cute okay). Sceneries but never Anime. I didn't like Anime until the end of year 2001.

It's not like I started drawing Anime out of the blue. Nope. But I just had the urge to draw...something. Anything. After all those years, I do wonder how well can I still draw. Whether or not my skills have gone rusty. Maybe amu already. Don't even know how to draw properly.. Curious curious. Kakaka. So, what did I draw? The mineral bottle on the table next to my Laptop. My scientific calculator. Sketches of bridge designs. Some Anime characters. Their eyes to be exact. I don't know why but I find anime characters' eyes to be mostly fascinating. And lastly, my mobile phone.

So, so so... does it look like Samsung Z-240? Of course, the real phone is actually much slimmer but I'd be an artist if I can follow everything down to the tiniest details. Haha...

That's what happens when you've got nothing better to do. Ah. Correction. When I have nothing better to do. Oh dear...

My my. I've just remembered something. This is the first picture I've posted in ages! That's like what... half a year perhaps? Hahaha

stupid questions...

2007-09-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

My aunt called at 5 PM just now when I was sleeping in the hotel.

*mobile phone rings*

Me : Hello? *VERY sleepy voice*

Aunt : Hello?! Eh, where are you?

Me : In the hotel. Sleeping.

Aunt : Oh. What are you doing there?

Me : -___-'' Sleeepppiinnngggg...

Aunt : Oh. Why you didn't come today? You told me you'd come today.

Me : All my activities were cancelled. No transport. Can't go. I'll call you once I rescheduled everything, kay...

Aunt : Oh... Where are you ar?

Me : ....

Truth be told, I was sooo goddamn pissed. Annoyed. All of a sudden, I didn't feel sleepy at all. I was wide awake. Her questions pissed me off. I was sooo bloody prompted... no, TEMPTED to ask her

Wei!!! Your ears got stuck inside your assholes issit?!!! Why the fuck you can't listen properly??!

But no. Instead, I told her in a slightly annoyed voice ...

Me : Aiyahhhh... told you liao I'm in the hotel sleeeeping!

Aunt : Okokok. Bye..

You say lar. You say lar. Stupid or not? I fucking can't stand them. I hate answering stupid questions. Kanneh. I so wanna cut them fucking lines! Tiu niamah!

Boring day : Cancelled meeting, rescheduled site visit...

2007-09-11T17:56:00.001+08:00

Today sucks. The meeting's been cancelled. Even the site visit (my only survival hope from total boredom) was cancelled at the last minute too because the contractor went missing. I'm freaking pissed of calling anybody today. Most of my calls today either went unanswered or went straight into voice mails. Fuck voice mails. And fuck them for not answering. And fuck them for their busy tones.

And fuck blogger too. It took me two fucking days just to log on. Goddamn it. What the fuck is going on? Practically everything went wrong. Geezzz. Fuck!

There aren't any movies worth watching showing in the cinema too.

My friends are all busy busy busy. Working. Jaga anak. Traveling. Attending courses.

For those who aren't busy, I'm damn paiseh in calling them out. Later on ppl salah faham. Then all hell break lose. Tiu.

So, with my blood boiling all over my body, I went to bed. Slept myself dizzy. Until my aunt woke me up, with a stupid phone call. Asking loads of stupid questions that irritate me further.

What's the matter with people nowadays? And what's the matter with me? Have I gone nuts?

I'm bored out of my life and I simply can't stand conversing with total idiots. They ruin my day. They fucking ruin my day. AND... talking about idiots, I had the miserable misfortune of talking with a downright jerk last week. The conversation goes like this:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me : Help me to buy two cartons of milk. Got special offer now. RM2.99 per carton. Normal price RM3.20.

Idiot : What flavour?

Me : Milk. Fernleaf. Yellow box. Neh, the ones I bought together with you that day one aaa...

Idiot : What flavour?

Me : ... Milk lar!

Idiot : I know. What flavour you want? Got two flavour you know.

Me : Of coz I know! The other is chocolate. I want milk. MILK!

Idiot : What flavour??

Me : KNN CCB you fucking moron!!! I told you I want milk. MILK! Which part of that you didn't fucking understand?!!!! Are you of the Ma decendants or what? MCB why the fuck are you so stupid!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have many many many experiences with idiots. Dunce. I'll write and post them up if blogger behaves later on. Go and find them up at Dialogue. If you want to read them that is.

For now, I'll just stay in the hotel and eat cheese cakes, drink lotsa heavily caffeined coffee, watch the stupid box, listen to jerks screaming their lungs out and try to sleep.

Conclusion of today : Sucks. Horrible. I've had better days. I've seen better days. Geezzz...

tired, lazy and bored...

2007-09-05T19:30:00.002+08:00

That's right. Lately, I'm tired, lazy and bored.

I get tired of working (too much pressure, too high expectations, too many impossible AND unnecessary demands... TOO be tahan)...

.. too lazy to wake up in the morning (not enough sleep + it's raining and damn nice to sleep in)...

.. too bored (because I've finished all the stuffs I need to take care of and left with nothing else to do in the office)...

Don't get me wrong. Of course, I can do other things. Things like chatting, bullshitting, go yam cha, gossip gossip, lepak here and there, go out for breakfast, lunch, go shopping and yeah, surf the internet, reading manga, downloading anime and bla bla bla yadda yadda yadda... (endless list)

To be very frank here, I've been sitting in the office reading manga online for two whole days while waiting for further instructions from my boss/top management/whatever you call it.

The meeting is tomorrow. Traveling has been postponed and rescheduled SOOO many times (this better be good!).

*prays*

I hope I won't be sent to travel this week. I've had enough! Enough! I wanna sleep in my own bed! I wanna laze around and be in my own house, in my own room, hugging my own pillows, stuff toys, sleeping in my own bed and eating my mum's special home cook meals!

Grrr...

I'm in a somewhat restless-moody state.

B-E-W-A-R-E!!! I Bite! (whenever I feel like it)

*sigh*

Awww... another senseless post from me. Bear with me please. I'll get over this soon enough.

weird pronunciations...

2007-09-02T19:10:00.002+08:00

Have you ever noticed the weird pronunciations some people use when conversing in English? Especially those from foreign countries? I've had several encounters but what baffled me the most are the pronunciation of Philippines. No matter how highly educated they are they always, ALWAYS pronounce certain words differently. And man, they always baffle me. Really.

Examples of their pronunciations:

Example 1
What they said : Let's fuck them!
What they really meant : Let's fax them!

Hint : They were talking about faxing the letters to a certain somebody.

O.O'' Don't believe me? Really. They pronounced fax as fuck. I got the shock of my life when they said that in front of me. I looked at them and asked "Excuse me?! Who do you wanna fuck??!"

They roared in laughter when they realized what I was thinking. Geez!

Example 2
What they said : Where's your bug door?
What they really meant : Where's your back door?

Hint : They were actually talking about exit doors. I nearly banged my head to the nearest wall because I look like a total idiot staring at them, asking them again and again what was it that they really want. In the end, I made them spell the damn word out. Grrr...

Well, it's sad to say that I'm always exhausted after talking with them for long hours because I'm worried that my pronunciations will go haywire. Normally, I'll try talking to other people in English (with proper pronunciation) just to get rid of the stupid Philippine accent that somehow contaminated my system. I'm worried sick that I'd end up with pronunciations like them! Aaarrrggghhh!!!

boring longgg meetings!

2007-08-29T20:21:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired! Those meetings! Bloody meetings! My job for the past two days has been limited to just one activity - attending meetings that last whole day through. Yes. Through lunch hours (noon time) and past my normal dinner time (5.30 PM). Damn meetings started from 9 AM till 6.45 PM. Non-stop!

I nearly cabut just now. I don't care anymore. Really be tahan! I yawned countless of times inside the conference room because I can more or less by-heart every details and information conveyed during the meeting. Those info has been repeated again and again and again. It actually feels like I've gone back to the blardy school days whereby the teachers voice keeps droning (no matter how interesting the subject is and no matter how excited a voice they use, everything just sounds like the same boring stupid things being repeated over and over again like a broken casette player) till I kept yawning and had troubles keeping my mind and eyes awake.

-_______-''

I'm praying that tomorrow there won't be any meetings to attend because I can't stand it. I hate dressing up smartly and nicely and neatly for the meetings. I hate the awkwardness of having to sit through the long hours in total discomfort of my clothing attire. I felt weird donning those formal office wear (executive suits). I felt like a different person. Maybe, just maybe I should wear them more oftenly so that I get used to it? I don't like the idea but perhaps I'll give it a try.

I did say many a times over that I wanted to change right? Yupe.

And the boots. You know, those ankle high boots worn with slacks and suits or whatever particle of clothing that suits them. Remember my fractured right foot? I'm having difficulties wearing boots because of the slightly highly extended heels which forced me to exert more pressure on the fractured part of my right foot. My foot felt numb each time I took off the boots after I reached home at 7 PM. Huhuhu... my poor foot!

Anyway, I'm totally exhausted. I fell asleep early last night eventhough I had planned to blog about the meeting. Thinking about it now, I guess it's safe to say that I've totally forgotten about the stuffs that I planned to write last night. Oh well. If it comes back to me, I'll blog about it. If not, then let it be. It's not really important.

Oh yeah. Back to topic. The meetings. After those miserable long hours spent inside the conference rooms, the conclusion is : I need to travel to West Malaysia with a group of Engineers from another company. I'll probably leave next week and duration of travel is currently still unknown to us. The only thing I'm sure of is that we have to go to several places all over West Malaysia to collect samples and survey the sites.

*sigh*

Sounds tiring huh? Well, tiring is better than boring. At least I can fall asleep without much tossing at night. And time somehow flies each time you have something to do or rush. Without actually realising it, one week may have gone by just by the blink of an eye. Time really waits for no man. Err... woman. Errr... anybody, in fact.

*yawns*

I'm tired tired tired. I'll just spend some time watching anime and then I'll call it a night. How's your days folks? Man. I feel like I've been blogging to walls. Haven't got much feedback in a while. You guys still alive? Arlow??

crapping...zzz

2007-08-28T00:56:00.002+08:00

Right. I'm posting craps. It makes me feel better. So bear with me a bit.

*looks at watch*

OMG!!! It's so late already! I better go to sleep now! Meeting early tomorrow morning!

I'll wake up early tomorrow and post something.

Good nite!

meeting tomorrow!

2007-08-28T00:15:00.002+08:00

I'm going to attend a very important meeting tomorrow. I hope I'll just be an observer though. There's no way I could have given them any useful input that they can use. Heck, I'm not even qualified to do that (pssttt I'm being humble here so start praising me already! Ahaks!). So, I'll just be guai guai and observe what's happening and commit the information to my memories for further detailed processing at home.

What's scaring me though, is that the meeting will probably lasts 5 days. 5 days! Having to attend a meeting on weekly basis is tedious enough for me and this..this...this!!! Meeting for 5 days continuously! I better bring my pain-killers, anti-depressent pills and lots of drugs to pull me through.

Haha. Just kidding lar. I don't do drugs okay! It's just an expression. Chill ler. Dun call the cops ler. I'm no druggy okay. So no need to report me to the authority. I dun like being famous one. I don't like to masuk suratkhabar or TV3. Kuat bahaya ler wei. I cannot take it. Really heart attack lar!

Aiyo! What to wear for tomorrow's meeting? All my slack cannot fit in my current waistline! I'll just have to stuff myself into one (my biggest sized slack) tomorrow and pray that it won't koyak in the middle of the damn meeting. At least I have a button-up collared shirt that I can wear. It's XL in size if memory serves me right and I bought it from G2000. Really love the shirt but haven't wear it yet. I guess tomorrow is the right time to wear it then. *sigh*

Wish me luck folks. I mean it. *points daggers at readers* You BETTER wish me luck and pray for me with all of your heart! If anything happens to me, you won't have anything to read! That's a threat! Start praying now!

Muahahaha. I need the wishes okay. It won't kill u to wish me luck lar. Don't be so kiam siap (translate : stingy) ler. Quick quick wish me good luck liao!

changes changes

2007-08-27T23:10:00.002+08:00

I changed my template colors. I'm a little edgy recently so I prefer something dark and moody. Perhaps it reflects my mood. Perhaps I just want a change. Changes are good, no?

I've just came back from one of those dinner treats (reads special dinner that I had with my boss and his contacts). All the VIPs are there. I feel a little out of place and insecure. Just a tad bit. I wonder why...

Maybe it's because I wasn't properly dressed? I just wear T-shirt with jeans. No make ups. No fancy hair-do. Or style. I look plain, simple and childish. In fact, I look younger than I actually am in age. Which wasn't good at all when it comes to "first impressions". My contacts always told me later (once I knew them better and vice versa) that they actually underestimated me cuz of my LOUSY first impressions. They either think I'm dumb (I wear outdated glasses and I don't talk much. I only talk when I'm talked to. Otherwise, I kept my mouth shut and just observe); or a klutz (I'm clumsy whenever I get nervous. Like knocking things all over the place or spilling water here and there, stuffs like that..) or I'm bluffing (most of them think I'm bluffing cause they dun believe a kid that has a face like mine actually know tat much) or or or... I dunno. They just have these weird expressions on their face when they look at me.
Maybe something's wrong with my face. I find it hard to smile and I always believe that I look like a total jerk when I smile. Maybe a brocolli got stuck in between my teeth??!
Maybe it's because I kept quiet all the time? I'm not much of a talker (I only talk with close friends) and I actually prefer to be a listener and observer. I don't mind if nobody talks to me as long as I get the chance to study other people's facial expressions and listen closely to their topic of conversations. Their intonations. Their vast knowledge of life. Those are so intriguing.

But tonight. Tonight, I didn't quite enjoy what I used to do. I feel awkward and I don't know what is wrong with me. Something's definitely wrong with me. It has been bugging me for a while now. I always feel out of place and that I do not belong here.

Am I being too sensitive?

One of my friend thinks I'm just over-stressed. Am I?

I think it's time to change. I want changes in my life, but I'm not sure which direction I should be heading to. I guess I'm fed up with what I've been having up till now cause it feels like it's getting me nowhere. What should I do? I'm not even sure what's going on anymore. I'm confused. I don't even know what I'm feeling or wanting anymore. Nothing matters.

Oh gosh. I need help. Seriously. I need emergency help. Taskete kudasai! Tolong! Help! Jiu ming ar!!! Kiu miang ooo!

Ok. Seriously. Here's a small quiz. Do you know what language is "taskete kudasai" and what does it mean? How about "tolong" and "jiu ming ar" and "kiu miang ooo"? Hahaha. Give it a try. Cookies are up for grabs for those who got it right!! ^___^

10 Reasons why I didn’t blog

2007-08-27T22:44:00.002+08:00

Hi again. Sorry for the long absence. I didn’t feel like writing. On top of that, life’s busy and demanding and well, I just didn’t feel like writing. Here are the 10 preciousss reasons that I came up with for not blogging. Read and enjoy. Or read and be pissed off. Whatever.

I’m too busy. Job’s calling me, my boss is calling me, his wife is calling me, my manager is calling me, Sub-con is calling me, consultant is calling me, my friends are calling me, my mum is calling me, my dad is calling me… bla bla bla. Yes. I spent most of my time answering phone calls. See? That’s busy. And my ears! My poor poor ears! Chow tar liaooo! Listening to phone calls all the time. No wonder I’m having headache!

When I’m not busy, I became too lazy to do anything. What do you call that? Overworked? Overstressed? It’s a symptom that I used to have. Still having it now. When I do too much work, the next thing you know, I may not move at all. It’s like I just went kong or something. Snapped maybe?

The weather’s too hot. When it’s hot, I feel lazy. When I feel lazy, my brain won’t work. When my brain isn’t working, then my fingers won’t move (cause it receives instructions to move from my brain lar). When my fingers won’t move, I can’t type. If I can’t type, I can’t blog. Got it? Haiya. No brain no finger how to blog? No activities what!

The internet’s down. This ar, I tell you, is my number ONE reason why I didn’t blog. Potong stim aje I tell you! Damn tu-lan. Especially when I have the best inspirations, best topic to blog on and best mood to blog, then the blardy internet connection sure went down as if it was shot down by missiles. PUI!!!!!

I’m sick. Huhuhu. This is the paling kolien part. When it comes to the sakit topic ar, my most famous sicknesses are :

GASTRIC – till I ended up in the Emergency Room and scared my mum shitless
WINDY STOMACH – keeps farting like I’m leaking or something
NAUSEA – feels like vomiting all the time lor…like pregnant lady.. tu-lan nye!
LAU SAI / DIARHOEA – best friends with toilet bowl (sien)

Surprisingly, I don’t get flu or fever THAT easily, and even getting those do not necessarily render me useless. Unless I have high fever. Now, that’s scary!

I hate uploading pictures. I hate waiting for the pics to load. That’s why most of my posts are without pics. I hate losing my patience over some stupid pictures that refused to load no matter how long I waited. Once, it took me hours (days even) just to upload one small picture. I was so freaking pissed that I nearly tossed out my desktop! No point getting pissed mad for not being able to post pictures, right? So, I either posted without the pictures, or I mah dun blog lor.

I’m worried sick! What am I worrying about? My weight! My waistline! I can’t wear my normal clothes! Fuck, I can’t even button up my shirts or wear my blouse without worrying that it’ll be torn to pieces. I can’t wear my jeans! Goddamn, if I’m so worried about my food and waistline and diet and exercise and all those bloody time consuming shits, do you think I’ll have time to blog, har?!

Negative feedback, negative feedbacks! My sisters told me that my blog is very sia soey (memalukan which means shameful) because it contains too much vulgar words, too many cuss words, too many angry remarks, too impolite/rude, too low class. Un-educational and totally useless to read! *sigh* There goes my self-esteem. Everything down the drain liaoooo… you say lar, where got mood to blog ler? Ai…

I don’t feel like blogging. Totally no mood lar. How?

No thrill. No thrill man! No adrenaline! I mah no want to blog lor. Can barely maintain the blog’s pureee English. How lor like tat? Better close shop hor?

Last but not least, tenkiu for reading my craps. *bows low low*

*runs off to write another post*

50 raunchiest Malaysian blogs

2007-08-21T22:45:00.000+08:00

I was reading Michael's blog when I came across this. It's quite outdated (cuz it was posted in June 21, 2007) but what the heck. I'll post anyway. Here's my rating.

NC-17 which means that NO ONE 17 AND UNDER ADMITTED. So you. Yes! YOU! If you're under 17 and you're here reading my blog, shoooooo now!

Pssssttt.. But if your parents aren't watching then by all means, just read lar. I need all the support I can get man!

But truth be told hor, I can't believe my blog can make it through. Then again, if you take into account the amount of swearing I've spewed here, then off course, I'll be pissed if I didn't make it through!

*slaps forehead*

Hey Michael! Please include me to your list!!! I couldn't post comment on his site just now. Guess I'll just wait till I managed to do that. *sigh*

off to kapit

2007-08-16T07:02:00.000+08:00

Yo. I'm going to Kapit today. 10.30 AM flight. Then gonna catch an express to Kapit at 12.30 PM gua. I'm not sure cause my BigBoss's wife arranged the express tickets.

Anyway, there won't be any updates till I came back on Saturday. Unless I managed to online there in Kapit. Chances are quite slim and I'm not really looking forward to it.

I'll just spend my time there writing reports, reading E-Books and watching Anime and movies.

Cya all on Saturday!

how terrible is your job?

2007-08-15T21:23:00.000+08:00

I came across this "Employee beware" article this morning when I browsed for something juicy to read. Actually, it's the only morning (in 2 weeks time since I last goyang kaki) when I get (haha lucky me!) to surf and read something before starting my job full swing.

To all those employees, click on the link and go read the article up and determine whether you're one of the unlucky employee or not. If you are, then too bad. If you're not, then dang it you're one lucky damn person. Stay faraway from me. I'll be so tulan if you're nearby!

Anyway, here's the summary of the sub-titles and my verdict (of myself lar okay, not you!) :-

1. You dread going to work.
Hmmm... To some extend, yes. I dread going to work. But not to the point where I refused to go to work. It's like a love hate situation. You love it, and yet you hate it at the same time. You don't wanna do it, and yet you can't live without doing it. In my case, it's 50/50 lar. My work sucks but sometimes, I love doing it. That's part and parcel of life. Nothing is perfect. Even if you can't accept that, life still goes on. Time waits for no one babe, especially you! Haha!

2. You get no enjoyment from your day-to-day responsibilities.
Enjoyment from my day to day responsibilities? Hmmm. I like the idea of being able to do impossible things for my superbly impossible boss who always asks for impossible targets. Heck, anybody would feel good if they managed to accomplish the impossibles, no?

I have to admit though, that sometimes, when the going gets tough, and everything, practically just everything went wrong, you'd feel like you're dreaming and that everything would just go away once you open your eyes and wake up. Those are the days when you feel like eating panadols (loads of them) the size of hamburgers. *faints*

3. You are uncomfortable with the company culture and environment.
Company culture and environment? Let's see. No dressing code. Anything goes as long as I don't turn up wearing a bikini or swimsuit. Flexible working hours. You can come in super late, or leave super early, or come in super early, and leave super late or whatever as long as you get the jobs done. Damn flexible eh? Hahaha. And they have great working environment. Decent office equipments, leather chairs, fully equipped with air-conds, stationeries, endless beverage supplies, pantry with microwave oven, rice cooker, gas stove, gas tank, refrigerator, complete cooking utensils, slow cooker, kettle, everything! Hahaha. I simply love that. Now, how many companies can have that???

And I can't sit still in a chair without moving, or going outside. Since all the jobs I've done requires traveling, I'm pretty much a happy bunny. I can do management and traveling and site visiting at the same time but pullleeezzzzeee : No office work for 1 week straight. I'll die of boredom. And no site work for 1 week straight. I'd get so bloody restless I'll kill anybody within the radius of 10m from me! And pulezzzeee no traveling for 1 week straight too. I'd be so tired I'd just spend most of my night time sleeping instead of working!

Conclusion : I like my job now. It's a rojak. With a little bit of everything. Spices of life. Niceee...

Point of the day. Just bloody perform. Accomplish your tasks. You can bitch about it later on. I always bitch halfway through though. Sometimes even before I started the works to reach the targets. Bad habits are hard to kill ya know. ;P

4. Your relationship with your boss is turbulent.
Eh, I don't have problems with my boss. The only thing I can't stand is that he nags too much, always talk dirty and keeps repeating the same thing over and over and over again. He only does that when he's losing money. And he cuss a lot too. And he's a bloody liar. I still can't comprehend why I believed what he said in the first place. To think that he might have changed after all those years? Silly me. Aaarrrggghhhhh!!!!!!!

5. You see no opportunities for career advancement or enhancement.
Job training? Professional development? Pah. Nonsense. I'm trained every single goddamn minute I'm working for him. Need further training meh tiu! Professional development? Let's just say that I don't intend to become an Engineer for the rest of my miserable life. As long as I get good pay, and as long as THAT's done through job performance, the rest I just don't care lar, aiyo!

Hmmm... I think I'm doing fine there doncha think? In that case, does that mean that those who aren't doing well should steer clear and faraway from me? Least they feel tulan with me. Muahahaha!

So, how terrible is your job? ;P

oh no!

2007-08-15T20:44:00.000+08:00

I'm going to Kapit tomorrow for 2 days. I managed to book a hotel room for 16 Aug but not for 17 Aug. All the hotels there are fully booked on the 17 Aug. By the ministers.

I can't believe it. I really can't believe it.

Hello!!! We're talking about Kapit here okay. How the heck can the hotels there be fully booked? By ministers some more. Damn. They must be having some kinda function there.

My flight back to Kuching is on the 18 Aug. I bet the flights on 17 Aug are all fully booked as well.

Crap.

This leaves me with nothing but one choice.

To stay at my BigBoss's house.

I don't like that.

*bangs head to the wall*

Cause that means zero freedom.

*bangs head to the floor*

And also more stress. Unnecessary pressure.

-_____-'' Uwahhhhhh!!!!!!

;_; I don't wanna go traveling tomorrow!!!!!!!! Waaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*******************************

Latest update...

I was scolded by my BigBoss's wife for booking a hotel. She expects me to stay at her house. =.= I hope it's good. I'm praying that it'll be good. Cause I've heard stories... *gulps*

rainy days...

2007-08-14T20:10:00.000+08:00

It's raining again. Haven't rained in a while. Maybe that explains why it was so difficult for me to climb out of my bed this morning.

You see, I have the tendency to procrastinate the most when the weather's cool. And yes. That includes rainy days.

Was it raining this morning? Nope. There was no rain this morning. I simply felt super lazy to wake up. As if my body knows that its gonna rain. Hahaha...

Man. That felt good. I miss the rain kinda. But raining also means that the work on site would be delayed and that my Vivic would be totally drenched out there. Poor him.

And yeah. While we're talking about cars, I hafta tell you guys this. I'm so relieved that I wasn't driving my Vivic just now. If it were him, I don't think I'll let the damn kid off the hook that easily. I'd have cooked him for dinner right then and there!

To make a long story short, I had a slight accident just now while driving my Mum's Unser. A young man driving a dark green coloured sedan rammed to the right side of my Unser's rear bumper at the T-junction while I was on my way to collect my buah cempedak.

Me and my mum went down to inspect the car. Actually, my mum's to inspect the car, me? To rough things up with the other fucking driver.

Me : Shit! *horror looks on* Look at that! How the heck did you drive???

Dumbass : Sorry sorry! I didn't see you...

Me : Great. My Unser is SO BIG and it's fucking RED in colour and YOU can't see it?!! YOU CAN'T SEE IT??!

Dumbass : I'm sorry. I was looking at the other direction. I thought that there was no car in front. I wasn't looking. I'm sorry. I really am.

Dumbass was mumbling and rambling sorry sorry sorry all over. I checked my rear bumper and it was scratched but not badly damaged. Slightly dented but my mum still can live with that. What with her being such a nice, compassionate and considerate person. My mum is SUPER NICE okay!

Unlike me though, you dented my car, I'll have your head for snack!!!

I took one peek at the guy's car and man, it was dented all right, starting from his front bumper all the way to his front door. That's a long scratch + dent.

Meanwhile, my mum checked our Unser and sensing not much damage, she just said "Nevermind lar"...

SIGH.

If my mum says nevermind, then what more can I say right? The car is hers.

I climbed into the car (surprisingly without much cussing) and drove off. End of story.

Anyway, I think the guy's gonna get a beating or by the least, his ears gonna fell off its perching place by the time he gets home cause he didn't inspect the damages on his car and he drove off thinking that he didn't sustain much damages. I bet his parents will chew his ears and meat out.

And I'm telling you the truth when I said that I was relieved that it wasn't my Vivic out there just now. My dear dear Vivic definitely can't survive a bump like that. What with him being a Perodua Viva (which reads milo tin car), with a bump like that, I bet I'll be changing the whole rear bumper and that can easily cost me thousands of ringgit. No kidding!

It's nice to have rainy days sometimes. But accidents ALWAYS happen during rainy days too. Without fail. Is this a written law that must happen each time it rains or what? Haiya. So ma huan!

But I love my bed. During rainy days. That's without complain off course!!!

Kurama's Voice Artist!!! Megumi Ogata!

2007-08-12T21:01:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! I was watching Claymore episode 15 and I noticed something awesome to my great delight!!!

It's Kurama's voice!!!!! I'm sure of it! I'm ecstatic!!! I'm on cloud 9! I miss his voice so much!!!! That rich, deep, sexy, mysterious, worth dying for voice!!! I haven't heard it in years!!! I'll recognize it anywhere! Anytime! Yay!!!!!

Clare!!! Oh Clare! She lengthened her vocal chords to make her voice sounds deeper in her guise as a guy and it turned into Kurama's voice!!! I love Megumi Ogata! She's the voice artist for Kurama of the Yu Yu Hakusho Anime. She shot to stardom in her first debut role, staring as Youko Kurama aka Minamino Shuuichi in Yu Yu Hakusho back in the year 1992. Before the airing of Yu Yu Hakusho though, there were many protests from fans all over Japan. They didn't agree to the selection of a female Voice Artist to play the role of Kurama who was considered one of the important character in the Anime. Their protests turned into great admiration and approval once they heard her voice as Kurama. It's so captivating and no one can do it better than her!!! From then onwards, she continued to become the Voice Artist for various famous/popular Anime such as Sailor Moon and Magic Knight Rayearth (just to name a FEW).

OMG! I'm in crazy mode now. I kept repeating that part where Clare said the most sentence using Kurama's voice. *melts*

unbelievable 2

2007-08-12T20:35:00.000+08:00

Hello again.

Finally dragged my ass here and checked my stats after finished watching and re-watching my Anime (I haven't checked it in weeks). It's not much, but hey, I actually have readers. Readers! And I do have a steady flow of readers, even if it's not much. But gosh!

I mean Good Lord, people are actually reading the craps I spewed out. My craps. My life!

Wow!

To all my dear readers out there, I have absolutely no idea why you keep coming back (care to tell me why? *wink* *wink*) cuz personally I think my blog sucks and since I don't get much feedback, I don't quite know how well I'm actually doing in the blogsphere... but but but!!!

THANK YOU!!! *muaks*

Thanks for your support, for your loyalty, for just being here. I appreciate it. Somewhere, somehow, there are people who reads about my life, knowing what I've been through and all that. At least, I won't feel THAT lonely. Haha...

Well, I've just thought of the stuffs to post in my blog. Remember my helicopter ride? I actually took some pictures, so yeah, I may upload it here. Haha.. It's not much, but it's better than nothing, right?

I hope I'll be able to blog more next week. I may move to Sibu as well, so there are lots of preparations to do. Heck, I may be going all over the place, since my BigBoss changes his mind every goddamn seconds or so... So confusing. So tiring. So sien. *sigh*

I hope I'll be able to breath still. I hope I'll lost weight. I hope I'll slim down, back to my previous slim waistline. I hope I'm still 18 years old.

I hope I'll be happy. Contented.

I hope I won't be disappointed. Ai...

out of idea

2007-08-12T13:45:00.000+08:00

Howdie folks. It's been ages since I blog.

I haven't been blogging regularly recently. It's like I totally ran out of idea on stuffs to write. And I'm short on blog titles as well.

The last few weeks had been extremely hectic. Work sucks because I had more than I can handle and my boss has a goddamn high expectations of me. Most of his expectations start with the big letter I (which denotes Impossible).

And I refrained from writing because I realized that I've been spewing so much anger lately. Heck, I got fed up with them myself. All I've ever felt is anger, anger and more anger. Gosh, is something wrong with me?

When was the last time I felt really good? Free of anger, free of worries, free of troubles?

I can't remember those times. And I don't want to. It feels so stupid to be missing the good ol' days when nobody else involved miss it. Get what I mean? Awww.... it's complicated.

I'm feeling restless without knowing the reason why. I'm feeling helpless without any comprehension at all. I'm tired, empty and sad. As for why am I feeling this way, the answer is : I don't know.

The truth is, I didn't put in much effort in my work lately. I didn't feel like blogging, I didn't feel like socializing and I just didn't want to do anything. I should be doing my best (especially in my work) and yet I'm not. I've always felt that, no matter how hard I worked and tried, at the end of the day, it would have meant nothing because I have no one to share it with.

Life seems dark and empty and meaningless when you put it that way, no?

All I've ever felt now is boredom. And the fact that I get bored easily doesn't make it any easier. Life's the same everyday, every week. Every goddamn second and minutes of the day. You wake up in the morning, get ready for work, eat, work, eat, rest then sleep and the whole cycle repeats itself the next day and the day after that and the day after and after... So boring.

As for my anime, I've downloaded and watched all the Anime that I'm after. And I'm stuck here now, waiting for more new episodes from Claymore, Kekkaishi, Naruto Shippuuden, Bleach and D.Gray-man. These are my favs at the moment.

And I'm still waiting for the Gundam Seed Destiny movie that mother fucker Fukuda promised to release in 2007. It's postponed to 2008 now. Bloody hell.

I watched Ratatouille last nite. Amusing movie about a rat named Remy that learns to cook. A rat that can cook. Now I feel worse cause I can't cook even if my life depended on it.

I'm worse than a rat. Great feeling, eh?

I need something to distract me from all these miseries.

Should I write Anime reviews? Would you read them? Hmmm...

Bad day...

2007-08-08T22:15:00.000+08:00

Today is one of those days most people dread the most. At least, I do. Dread them days like this.

It started off beautifully. So beautiful that you'd think to yourself... I love being alive...

Then, bad things started pouring in one after another. Nah, it's a beautiful day. I don't mind one or two bad things.

Then more and more shits started pouring in and it's actually aimed at your face. Fuck *starts to lose patience*

Next came the biggest, worst, slimiest shits you'd ever imagined in that slimy small tight head of yours. Then you'd go OMG... fuck fuck fuck

Fuck (multiply that by 1000 to the power of eternity)

I felt like I've just fell down from the top of Mount Everest and landed on a huge pile of cow dung. Ugh!!!

Ok ok. The story is this. I accomplished something major tasks today and I felt good about it. I was on cloud 9. I felt useful. I felt great. Awesome.

Before I had enough time to soak in my accomplishments though, I get one after another weird calls. All meant trouble. Suddenly, problems just popped out of nowhere and they kept coming in fast.

I didn't have enough ears to listen to the laments of these poor souls and of course, I don't have enough mouth to calm or soothe them or provide solutions for them and DAMN RIGHT I only have one brain and I can't think or listen to 3 phone calls at the same time, process all the frigging problems and come up with a solution for each of those goddamn problems as if I'm some awesome professor working at one of the most prestigious Universities in the world.

WHAT . A . FUCKING. DAY.

I'm beat. I feel totally useless. I wish I'm Superman or Wonder Woman. Just so I can fix things on my own without needing any other assholes help or support or cooperation. Fuck team work!

I hate works that need team members. I hate depending on people. I hate those goddamn mother-fuckers who dunno their roles and can't differentiate a dick from a boob.

I hate morons.

AND...

I hate today.

unbelievable

2007-08-03T20:47:00.002+08:00

I want to believe that I'm strong. Tough. I travel a lot and I never have dizziness problem. Whether I travel by air (plane or helicopter), water (express, speed boat, sampan, long boat, ferry) and land (car, bus, lorry, u name it). Sounds like I'm invisible huh?

Well, I do get dizzy. You wanna know what makes me dizzy?

You're so not gonna believe this.

Lift...

and...

excavator.

*slaps forehead*

I'm ashamed of myself. *runs to hide* Sheesh!

total bullshit

2007-08-03T12:37:00.001+08:00

I've just experienced the most unbelievable crap of the day.

I went out to survey the price of furnitures, electrical appliances and other facilities needed to setup houses for the PMT (Project Management Team). Guess what I found?

Bullshit number 1 : The taukeh in charge at the first furniture shop I went to refused to give me quotation!
Reason given : We never win any of the quotation given out. Give quotation = no sale!
Verdict : Fucking asshole. He can as well close his bloody shop cause obviously he doesn't know how to conduct business. If your price is competitive, why worry? And trust me, with that attitude of his, he'll be chasing away more customers than making them buy from him.

Bullshit number 2 : The taukenio quoted all right, but with tonnes of craps and bullshits too. She said she can't specify the brand name, but can quote the price. I went O.o and gave her a wtf look. How can you simply quote without stating the brand name? With no details whatsoever? She said if she gives me too many details then I'll be comparing her price to others. I was in the 'wtf' mood the entire time I was in her shop. I'm so not in the mood to deal with her. Fuck man.
Verdict : Fucking asshole number 2. She can go sell her body and become a whore or something cuz obviously she's got no brain. Niamah! Where the fuck got people do business like that one? Kanneh betul.

Do you guys see what I see? Fucking world is turning upside down. Geesh!

stay in Sibu

2007-08-03T10:32:00.000+08:00

My stay in Sibu is... how should I put it. Tiring? Yeah. Although I hate to admit that, it's true. Tiring.

I spent whole day at the site, or outside, running all over the places.

That includes flying. On a helicopter. Sounds cool? Yeah. Cool. In between the heli rides and dining at expensive exclusive places, being able to order absolutely anything I want at whim, and getting to know all the VIPs out there, it amaze me how upset still I am.

I'm still upset that they haven't given me the laptop and mobile phone and car that they'd promised me.

As angry and pissed as I am with this, I still manage to suppress my anger somewhat (miraculously) because I found out the reason why they were unable to do that. My God. *slaps forehead*

Everything is in such a mess. No wonder they are willing to hire me at such high price. They expect me to just swing my wand and poof! All the problems are solved. Gone into thin air. Vanished!

Ma-deh. As if that is possible. And to think that I have to give 3 months notice to resign. To be honest, I'm close to resigning. Again. I hate this miserable "chess" game. Either you lose or you win. Such bloody tiring game.

Patience. Patience. I need them now. Patience. Loads. More than you can imagine.

I'm wee bit close to calling my boss and bombed him this morning. Yeah. Those of you who knows me in person KNOWS that I'll do that whenever I'm pissed and that I won't give a fuck who's at the receiving end. And yeah. I woke up at the wrong side of the bed. I woke up angry. I woke up upset. And super pissed after making several important deciding calls back to HQ in Kuching.

FUCK! The first big four lettered foul word of the day. It's my word of the day.

Kanneh comes 2nd.

Cheebye comes 3rd.

As much as I want to curse, I hate to admit that my vocabulary on foul words are super limited.

Conclusion is : I'm not even good in cursing. Loser. Lame. Tiu.

So, instead of going to the site, I've locked myself inside the hotel room, enjoying the air cond, the coffee, the tv, the music, and the joy of surfing and blogging all in one go. Oh, with great Sibu town scenery too.

Have I mentioned that I bought a laptop? It's mine. Not the company ones. I've been wanting to buy one for quite some time now. Finally got it. Everything's fabulous. Except the bloody keyboard though. It's not responsive. I can't repeatedly type two continuous letter at one go. The letters just won't come out. So it's kinda annoying for me cause I type super fast. Average 70-80 words per minute. If the keyboard is nice and to my liking, I can easily reach 90 words per minute with 100% accuracy rate.

You don't believe me? Think I'm bluffing? Ask my friends. They'll smack your head and tell you "What? You don't fucking believe her? Try and have a competition with her then you MORON!"

*double whacks*

The speakers are awesome. The display is splendid. Oh. It's an Acer by the way. Aspire 4520. Cheap and fast unit. The shell is black in colour and after a while staring at it, I begin to like it. I didn't like it at first. The shape's slightly different. A little on the oval egg shape. Has curves on every corner. Everything's good and dandy. I've always liked Acer for a while now. Compared to Toshiba and NEC and Twinhead. But this unit has lousy keyboard. Fuck. Everything's good except the goddamn keyboard. Do you think I can have the keyboard changed? Better still, I'll go get a good keyboard. Kanneh.

I know. I'm babbling. Rambling. Ranting. Whatever.

I'm not in the mood to work. I'm bored. I'm pissed. I'm upset. I'm dizzy. The combination of all these produces:-

bored + pissed + upset + dizzy = bad mood

When I'm in a bad mood, it means I'm suicidal. Aggressive. Super sensitive. Every little thing is wrong for me. Right now I feel like flinging the 21" tv set in my hotel room out of the huge window panes behind me.

It'll be fun to watch it crash all the way down. It'll be better if the damn stupid box managed to claim some lives down there.

I miss my water gun. If I have it now, I'll fill it up with acid and go about on a crazy shooting spree. I'm on high mood to do some massive torturing activities.

That way I'll feel better. If I feel better, I'll cool down. If I'm cool, I'll calm down. If I'm calm, then perhaps, I'll be normal. Yeah. Right now, I'm far from normal.

Looking back, I've always been in angry mood. Way too frequently. At the rate I'm going, I won't be able to make it past 35. I'll be dead before I reach mid thirties.

I'll go out for a quick survey. Then I'll come back to brood further. Maybe I'll write more later too.

First helicopter ride...

2007-08-02T21:21:00.000+08:00

I had my first helicopter ride today. We (me, my colleagues and my big Boss) had to go some unreachable places and heli is the only solution.

It was so much fun!!!

Now I totally envied those pilots. They have so much fun. It really feels like a bird flying in the heli.

You can practically see everything!

I wanna be a pilot! It should be as fun as driving a car, no?

Actually, I took pictures but am not able to load it up.

*sigh*

And I don't feel like writing much. Maybe I'll write but not much.

Hey. You get to read some updates. Be happy about it.

Stop complaining bitches!

Just for once, I wanna stop being nice.

Maybe I should drop the goody two shoes act. Going bad all the way out makes me feel good.

*yawn*

Gtg. Later!

closing up...

2007-07-30T21:35:00.000+08:00

I have a weird thought.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I wanna delete this blog.

.
.
.
.
.

Weird eh?

.
.
.

Space outtttt...

*sigh*

the great juggle

2007-07-29T19:43:00.000+08:00

Dear all,

I haven't got my Laptop so blogging while I'm traveling will be a pain in the butt. It's not the problem with internet connection. The question here is whether I'll manage to find the time to blog or not. Photo posting is totally out of the equation.

While I'm still capable of taking pics via my mobile phone, the very thought of transferring each photo via bluetooth to my pda and then uploading the pictures from my pda to my blog is pure misery. I'm not even sure whether my pda is up to those tasks or not.

I own a Dell Axim x50 and to be frank, it's quite outdated already.

Stable but outdated. Sheesh.

The point is : I'll still blog. But my post won't be long. It'll be short and precise (how long can you write using a pda??). I think. And it'll be quite boring. Just bear it. Okay?

And gosh. I'm gonna so miss my Vivic (I named my car so yeah go laugh your heads off!!). I drove all the way to Serian yesterday just for the heck of it. Wanted to drive my Vivic so badly that I'm just finding excuses to drive it all day long. I won't have much chance to drive it once I start traveling tomorrow. I'll be super busy tomorrow all the way till evening. I'll probably use the last flight to Sibu and then go to site early Tuesday morning to fix things. Depending on the situation, I could be stuck in Sibu for 2 weeks (best scenario) or for the rest of the month (the worst scenario is being stuck there for at least half a year). That sucks!!

I'm still considering whether to bring my Vivic to Sibu with me or not. You see, I park my Vivic outside (under the rain and sunshine) cause there wasn't a place for me to park here in my Kuching house. If I bring it to Sibu, then I shall be able to at least park it under the roof (full shed and all that) and then just take good care of it.

However, the long longggg drive from Kuching to Sibu dampens my thoughts. Not to mention the terrible horrible road conditions here! Potholes the depth of 2-3 feet bla bla bla.

I'm so worried!

Besides, I have my work schedules to worry about.

My head is about to explode liaooo. Aiyo. I haven't juggle stuffs in years! I'm out of practice. I need luck. Lotsa them!!!

Any tips??? How do you guys juggle your stuffs? Between work and your personal life? Amacam?? ;P

Good date to buy stuffs...

2007-07-29T14:56:00.000+08:00

I've noticed something weird yet interesting lately. It has to do with the number 27.

You see, I always buy stuffs on the 27th. Mobile phones mostly. Digicam. Anything important and costly, I always buy them on the 27th. It's just such a coincidence. Or maybe it's not?? Hmmm...

I bought a new mobile phone on the 27th July 2007. It's a Samsung Z240. Looks normal and so so on screen but when I saw it on display in the phone shops, I went Ohhhh Ahhhhh Waahhhh!!! I bought it on the spot. Muahahaha!!!

And just in case you're wondering, it comes with extra 2 sets of coloured casings. I got the dark blue, red and white. Niceee!!!

I can give you a brief review if you want it. I'll make them simple though. ^_^

Pros :
Very attractive color casings - Take one look and your eyes are glued. At least mine were. Haha ;)
Superb camera even for a 1.3 MP - Frankly I don't really give a damn after experiencing several lousy phones which claimed that they have 2.0 MP. Liarsss. Trust me, this 1.3 MP can easily beat other 2.0 MP phones out there
Nice sleek surfaced keypads - How should I put it. Hmm, it has this nice elegant feel when you run your fingers across it. And the buttons are widely NICELY spaced so that you won't press on the wrong numbers
Very loud ringtone volume - Good for alarms and those deaf peps out there
Very user friendly calculator - Trust me with all your heart on this one. So far, Samsung has the best calculator feature. I know cause I've used Nokia, Sony Ericsson, Panasonic, Samsung, Philips, Alcatel, NEC & Siemens. Kyocera even. =P
Nice mp3 player - Of course, I'll be modest in this category. The sound is okay, but it still can't beat Sony Ericsson walkman series. There. But it's definitely better than Nokia.
Nice flipping sound - You know the thing with flip phones is that whenever you close the lids, they always give you that sounds that makes you cringe and worry that it's gonna break or crack. Samsung gives you a nice soft closing sound that soothes and convinced you that it won't break nor crack. No matter how many times you close or open it.

Cons :

Lousy battery life. Ptfff. *slaps forehead*

AND I got my new car on the 27th July 2007!!!!! Waaaaiiiii!!!!! I couldn't get a good snap of it cause it rained practically everyday since I got it on 27th, so you'd have to be satisfied with this:-

It's snatched from paultan.org. ;)

I'm so happy with my car. I love it. It's fast, sleek, cuttteeeeee and simply awesome. YAY!!!

Be patient...

2007-07-28T22:39:00.000+08:00

This shall be my last post today.

I've taken pictures and will load them up tomorrow.

If you wanna see pictures, stop by tomorrow.

By now I'm so sleepy I just have to hit the bed.

Good night to all those who made the effort to stop by.

Luv ya all!!!

*muaks*

I'm back!!! Updates!

2007-07-28T22:03:00.000+08:00

Yo everybody! I'm back! I'm back!

Anybody miss me??

Haha. Maybe yes. Maybe no.

Anyway, here's an update after ages. Sit still!!! And read. And stop complaining. At least I made the effort to write you know!!! So just come back and read and BE GRATEFUL that I write!!!

Ok ok. I've been busy. Travelling all over the places. Basic places are Kapit and Sibu. Went to the sites and offices. Attended site meetings, briefings and all sorts of activities. Progress assessments, planning, trying to meet the targets and all those stuffs.

In the middle of all the hustle and bustle, I stopped and realization hit me with a huge bang.

I realized that I've been trying to do everything - all at once!

And damn. All those shits sound like the scope of work for a bloody Manager. AND I'm not a Manager.

-_____-''

I feel sooo cheated.

And I'm under a lot of pressure to perform due to the nature of the jobs eg. BigBigBig boss(es) come from overseas and their expectations easily surpass Mount Everest.

Simultaneously, I have to meet the expectations from my Boss, my Boss's big boss, my Boss's big boss's big boss, and all their other bosses.

Trust me. My name was quoted and referred to in every goddamn meeting.

[my name] can do this.

[my name] can do that.

[my name] will see into it.

[my name] is preparing the plan.

[my name] is handling them [those frigging problems] now.

[my name] is assessing the progress...

[my name] will see to it...

bla bla bla

Somebody hand me the damn oxygen tank. I have difficulties in breathing.

I'd be suffocating soon.

Why?

They believe I can do the impossible. That I can turn the impossible into possible.

The picture they want me to paint is totally dark though. Ruined. Read : cannot be saved.

Slim chance.

How to turn a totally ruined-charcoal-black picture into a nice piece of paper with rainbows and stars painted all over it??? You tell me lar. How? HOW??!!

I'm so dead.

2 weeks from now, I'll have arrows and gun holes all over my body. Right now, instead of preparing the plan on how to save every shit, I'm preparing the plan for myself. They are:-

Plan A : I'm praying that God will help me. Give me miracle. I so need one right now. Anything is fine with me. As long as I don't lose the job!!!

Plan B : Start finding a new job. And God please deliver a job straight to my doorstep!

I knew I've been recruited to take care of shits. I knew I'd be dealing with lots of shitty stuffs. I knew that situations were bound to be terrible, unbelievable and downright dumb.

But this one, totally swept me off the ground. I'm not given ample time to SOLVE the problems. Too many unknowns. Too many vague shits. And no answer at all.

If I managed to pull through, I'd be one frigging wonder woman. And damn, if I manage to clear all those shits, I may as well set up my own damn company.

Life's tough. Miserable. Full of ups and downs. It's a love hate relationship. I love life. And yet I hate it too. Ironic huh?

off to kapit!

2007-07-18T07:37:00.000+08:00

Hn. I'm going to Sibu today. By plane. Then gonna catch an express to Kapit around noon time.

I'm coming back to Kuching tomorrow. Phew!

I hope the journey is all right. My first time there.

Also my first site meeting. First site visit.

Not to mention the fact that I have to travel with 3 total strangers. One of them 50++, one 40++ and the other just 1 year older than me.

I'm not in the mood to talk at all.

I hope they are niceeee.

Sigh.

Today is going to be a looonnnngggg day.

days gone by...

2007-07-17T21:40:00.000+08:00

Have you ever missed your childhood days? Like, have you ever really stopped and think back? Reminisce...

I miss being able to sit by the window panels during rainy days. Watching the rain falling from the sky above, seeing the rain drops on the windows, watching intensely as it glides all the way down from the top, slowly gaining speed and size. Till now, those droplets still mesmerize me.

Deep down within me, I'm still a child.

I miss watching the clouds as they slowly drift from one place to another. I miss guessing and imagining the forms that they took place as they moved, ever so oftenly.

I miss watching the stars at night time. I can stare at them whole night until I fall asleep.

I miss being a child. So care free.

I miss the innocense. No worries.

I miss the state of not knowing much. I miss not knowing money, not knowing knowledge, not knowing the truth.

Truth hurts. More than anything else.

I miss my grandma too. I miss her kam pua. I miss her smile. I miss her voice when she talks. I miss the moment when I was able to play the organ, and my grandma would comment from the next house about how I've improved.

I miss my grandpa too. I miss playing badminton with him.

I wish I could travel back in time. I'd never change a thing. But I just miss them so much. No matter what, I'll still be that naughty, cheeky kid. I'd still run and get hurt and in the end, get scolded.

I'll never regret the fun that I had.

mister again...

2007-07-17T11:58:00.000+08:00

Got a phone call 2 mins ago. Another dumbass called :

Dumbass : Hello?

Me : Hello.

Dumbass : Is this Mr. [my full name]?

Me : (irritated) It's a Miss. MISS not mister!!!

Dumbass : Oh. It's Ms. [my full name] ar? Miss not Mister ar?

Me : ... Yes! Where are you calling from?
(I swear if she's in front of me, I'll strangle and shake her!!! I don't even sound like a guy!!!)

Dumbass : From the hotel they book for you. You're coming tomorrow, yes?

Me : Yes.

Dumbass : Ok. Thank youuu.

Somebody kill me quick. This world is not worth living in. It's full with idiots. First, the sub-con my Manager introduced to me called me Mr. [my surname].

Then, some of the staffs here accidentally called me Mr. They said tersasul wor.

Next, my air ticket was booked as Mr. [my full name].

Now, the fucking hotel dumbass called me Mr. [my full name] to confirm my bookings.

FUCK!!!!

always a Mr.

2007-07-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

I got my air ticket to Sibu today. As usual, they made this one goddamn blardy mistake which I hate the most. They put Mr. instead of Ms. Other than that, everything else is right. Surprisingly, they managed to get my whole name's spelling right too. Except the Ms. part though.

Ugh...

Not only that, I'm always invited to wedding invitation. But the thing that really put me off most of the time is the title they put on the wedding cards. Encik/Mr.

Ma-deh.

I may act like a tomboy but I look like a gal okay! With boobs and all that.

And the stupid gal from the travelling agency dared to ask me this morning when I called her to complain about the title mistake:-

Stupid gal : Har? You're a Miss ar?

Me : Hoi! Do I sound like a guy to you? Huh? HUH?!!!

Stupid gal : Now that you ask me, no. You don't sound like a guy. Hihihi...

Damn gal has quite a cute voice so I couldn't stay angry at her for long over the phone.

But still... ugh!

Stupid conversations...stupid people...

2007-07-16T12:58:00.000+08:00

I hate stupid conversations. AND those people without brains. With ALL my heart. Here are some examples :

Case 1

Me : Where do you wanna go for lunch?

A : Anywhere lar...

Me : What do you wanna eat?

A : Cincai lar...

Me : ...

Hello???! What's the point of talking here? It's the same as if I didn't talk/ask at all...

Case 2

Me : How much is this item?

B : RM900 something...

Me : RM900 something??? How much exactly???

B : RM900 something lar...

Me : Umm... RM900.90 also RM900 something. RM999.99 also RM900 something. So your RM900 something is how much EXACTLY ??!!!!

B : ... RM900 something lor...

Me : Do you REALLY KNOW the price OR NOT???

B : Errr... I go check

Me : ....

It doesn't make a difference whether I asked or not. I still don't get the answer to the questions I posed. What's the point of asking?

Case 3

Me : When do you want me to send you to airport?

C : Before 12.30 PM lar...

Me : ... *SIGH* Be more precise please...

C : Anytime before 12.30 PM is okay lar... (how the fuck is that more precise???)

Me : Fuck! 5 AM also before 12.30 PM. 12.29 PM also before 12.30 PM. Just gimme a fucking precise time is that SO HARD??? Do you remember that I work from 8 AM - 12.30 PM??? What the fuck is wrong with you people???!!!!

Case 4

I walked past the make-up section (or whatever shitty section you guys call it) inside a shopping complex. And I totally despice those sales promoters. They'll all come swarming you, asking you to buy their products lar, promotion that lar, this lar. There are only two scenarios for me when it encountering them.

First scenario

Sales promoter : Miss, what products are you looking for? Body shampoo? Lotion? Perfume? Hair shampoo? Lipstick? We sell everything you need here. Got promotion bla bla bla...

Me : I'm just passsssing by... (walked by without a glance)

Sales promoter : ......

Second scenario

Sales promoter : Miss, what are you looking for?

Me : I'm looking for [brand name]. Do you have it?

Sales promoter : Oh. We have the same product by different brand which is on promotion right now. Do you wanna try? It's very good bla bla bla (goes on to praise the goddamn product)...

Me : DO.YOU.HAVE.[brand name].OR.NOT? Yes or no will do!

Sales promoter : Err... nope.

Me : Fuck. Waste of my time.

Sales promoter : ...

Case 5

At a petrol station...

I was using VISA card to pay. Once I got the receipt from the petrol kiosk, I showed it to the person in charge there in order to get the Entry Form for their promotion/competition right now. Each RM30 of fuel pumped gives you a Form in return. I pumped RM70 so I'm entitled to two of those Entry Forms.

Me : (showed her my Visa receipt) I'd like to have those Entry Forms please..

Stupid gal : Oh... (scribbled hastily on a receipt and handed it to me)

Me : ...

Stupid gal : You want receipt right?

Me : No. I want those Entry Forms.

Stupid gal : Oh... ok. Here (stared at my receipt for a minute before she gave me two of those Forms)

Me : ...

If she listened, REALLY listened, she would have known what I said. It's like you're asking for a plate of chicken rice, and they give you a plate of satay instead. Totally bizarre.

Are they stupid or just plain ignorant? And I'm so bloody pissed because I see and talk to such fools on everyday basis. It's wrecking havoc with my nerves!!!

late shipment...

2007-07-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

My mum called me this morning, telling me that she saw many new Vivas at the showroom where I ordered my Viva last month.

Mum : Maybe your car is here already!!! Quick quick check with your salesman!

Me : Really? Ok. I'll call him now.

I was really excited and so I called the salesman straightaway.

To my great disappointment, he told me that my Viva will start shipping on 20th July. Haiya! Shipping duration takes 3-4 days. Approximately 2 days for custom clearance. So, my best bet should be on 25 or 26 July lor.

One more week to wait. Haiyaaaa!!!

missing a meeting

2007-07-12T22:47:00.000+08:00

This happened several days back, when I was still having problems logging into www.blogger.com - hence, the lack of posts in my blog. I think they dun like me or was it really such a coincidence???

My lunch time is from 12.30 - 2.00 PM (Mon-Fri). I left the office at 12.30 PM, heading back to my home for lunch and then went straight to the office at 1.00 PM cause I was so pissed with my mum for talking and arguing nonsense with my Uncle over the telephone while her rice was getting cold on the dining table.

That Uncle of mine LOVES to call when you're about to eat : breakfast, lunch, dinner. Timing sucks all the frigging time. I HATE it the most when ppl disturb us during a meal, be it at the restaurant, house or hawker stalls. Especially phone calls. Also those annoying China pakku or damn youngsters come pestering you to buy their stuffs when you're eating. So annoying! Pesky flies! One death stare from me normally sent them scurrying off. But my mum. She's so nice and polite and all that. I got sooo bloody irritated at her!

Anyway, back to story. I reached office at 1.00 PM and stayed inside till after office hour is over. That's 5.30 PM.

The next day, my BigBigBoss came into my room.

Boss : You okay?

Me : Yeah.

Boss : You fine?

Me : ??? Yes. I'm fine. Why?

Boss : ...

Me : Hey, any work for me to do or not? I'm so bored! What do you want me to do exactly? Sit here shaking legs??

Boss : ! I've got work for you to do! We were discussing it yesterday in a meeting. I asked for your presense but you weren't in.

Me : !!! What?! I was in the office the whole afternoon yesterday! When was the meeting held?

Boss : 2.00 PM. I sent (col's name) to look for you but she said you're not in...

Me : Huh?! I was here. In this room. WHOLE afternoon!

The Boss looked at me for a while and then took off looking for my Manager. I was like wtf??!

I've worked for this Boss before and he knows how I work. Him checking on me indicates that he finds something fishy there. I'm so glad and thankful that he checked on me first before jumping into conclusions!!!

I think somebody's trying to get me into trouble. Either they don't like me or they are testing me. Frankly speaking, I don't like them too. Bitches!! Low life scums. Pttfff!

finally!

2007-07-09T21:47:00.000+08:00

My Manager gave me a briefing this morning about my scope of work, bla bla bla. I was actually quite relieved. I'm beginning to rust and am starting to think that I'm actually there for the sake of being there.

Decorative vase. How does that sound like to you?

Thank God. I'm not.

There are projects on 4 different categories. I'm SUPPOSED to cover ALL of them. *sigh* Talks about getting paid for shaking legs. And the damn sites are all over Sarawak. And when I mean ALL OVER, it really ISSS all over.

I'm scheduled to go to Kapit next Tuesday. Site meeting. Awesome. My first site meeting in this company AND also my first time going to Kapit. Heard it's a very sleepy rural town and kinda boring there. Internet connection through dial up lines are slower than snails and they eat monkey brains for breakfast. Ooooppsss. Just kidding there. About the monkey brain part. Kapit people, don't be offended, kay? ;P

I talked to my Manager about the laptop and he agrees. It seems that the only person who doesn't agree is blardy Edo. He's the culprit who has been halting the purchase of my laptop. This sucks. An enemy so early in the game. Crap.

I hope he gets tiao-ed real bad for trying to mess with me. Moron. Other than that, everything else is fine and dandy! =P

free food...

2007-07-06T19:30:00.000+08:00

Today I had ice cream (from Sunny Hill) + butter cheese cake (Mita Cake House) + bread as part of a birthday celebration for one of the staff in the office. They were celebrating his belated birthday. His name was Leo or Lei something something. I'm really not good in remembering names. Bad me.

Anyway, I learned some interesting company rules from some colleagues while eating with them.

Windy : Eh, which month is your birthday ar?

Me : Huh? My birthday month? Why?

Windy : The company has this rule lor. RM30 is sponsored as a way of celebrating the birthday of the staffs here. We use the money to buy some food and then we have a small party like this just to celebrate lor. Currently, we are missing August and October. None of us here were born in August nor October! So tell us your month of birth!
(She awaits eagerly. Apparently for her, eating free food is very important and her whole life sorta depends on it)

Me : Erm. Mine's August.

Windy : Really? YES! Now we can eat in August!! *giddy laughs*

Me : -___-''

Windy : Oh. What's the exact date then? Your birthday.

Me : 31

Windy : o.O

Me : What?

Windy : WHAT?!!

Me : 31st lar.
(FYI, I was born on the 31st of August, the National Day of Malaysia. *grins*)

Windy : O.O *jaw drops*

Me : Look. Are you disappointed cause you won't be able to eat due to the public holiday???

Windy : Haha. We can always eat earlier!!!

Me : ...
(Believe me. She has fast recovery rate. And of course. We can't eat later than that cause that would means September. Wasted. *sigh*)

~~~~~~~~~~~
Minutes later...

Me : Hey. If you have 3 people having DOBs in August, does that mean you get like, RM90? RM30 per person right?

Windy : Nonono. My boss won't allow it. Just RM30 nia. If more than 2 persons, then maximum is RM50 lor. He's stingy. Doesn't count per head oneeee.
(Her boss is Edo)

Me : Oh. Why not. It's just RM30 mar.

Windy : He says the number of people eating is the same mar. So RM30 is enough per month. Plus, he never cincai eat food one. Cheap stuffs like these, he won't touch oneee. Very high class lar him.

Me : How high class?

Windy : Last time hor, we bought some type of beverage, white in colour lar. I can't remember the name. I think it's called White Lady or something. When we gave one glass to him, he won't even try it! And he sniffed on it some more. Haiya! Scared we poison him meh haiya!

Me : *incredulous look mode on* Sniffed??? He sniffed it?

Windy : He always say we spend too much buying food. When it's his turn next, we're going to buy the cheapest food available out there for him to eat!

Suddenly...

Everybody else : Yayaya!!! Let's buy bla bla bla....

They then proceeded to blurt out a long list of cheap, terrible food to buy for him to eat during his birthday month. The list got so long, I totally lost track. Employees can sometimes be so mean. *shakes head*

Personally, I think it's very good that the employer made the effort to sponsor a little bit of money as a form of appreciation for their staffs. RM30 is better than nothing, right? We never had this practice in my ex-company. The only thing they have was the staffs themselves forking out money to celebrate the birthday with you. Either way, you'd feel as if you belong some where right?

I guess I'm right about Edo thought. Seems like I'm not the only one who doesn't like him. *sigh*

ps : I swear the ones I wrote and LOST in the goddamn Gmail draft was much much better than this. Still very pissed at farking Gmail. Tulan! Ptui!

CHEEBYE GMAIL!!!!!!

2007-07-06T18:45:00.000+08:00

I AM SO TOTALLY SUPER-DUPER-GODDAMN-FUCKING-
FRIGGING-UNBELIEVABLY PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT APPEARS THAT GMAIL IS PRODUCED BY MOTHERFUCKERS RETARDS OF THE MILENNIUM ASSHOLES+MORONS+JERKS+GODDAMNRETARDS!!!

THEY CLAIM THAT YOU CAN USE GMAIL TO SAVE STUFFS. BLOODY EFFECTIVE.

WELL EFFECTIVE MY ASS!!

I JUST LOST MY ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING DRAFT!!!

CUZ I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED DISCARD. THE DAMN DISCARD BUTTON WAS NEXT TO THE SAVE BUTTON. GRRRR!!!

NORMALLY, YOU'D BE ABLE TO RETRIEVE WHATEVER SHIT YOU ACCIDENTALLY DELETED.

I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO FIND IT IN TRASH THEN.

IT'S NOT IN THE TRASH. IT'S A PERMANENT DISCARD. PERMANENT DELETE. AND NO FUCKING POP UP MENU WARNING YOU THAT IT'LL BE DISCARDED PERMANENTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CIBAI LANCIAO GMAIL GO FUCK YOURSELF SILLY KNN CCB.

MADEH!!!!!! PUUUIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new colleagues...

2007-07-06T18:10:00.000+08:00

After having worked in this new company for a week, I'm still a bit blur as to the names of the colleagues. Up till now, I only know a selected few of them - those I see only on daily basis and that's about that. I never make it a habit to approach their working desk if I don't know them too well. I'm worried that I may distract them from their works. If the new boss found out about this, my reputation would be stripped. Gone. Burnt.

I don't want that to happen. But I'll tell you what I know lar.

First is the guard who works here. Everybody calls him Bai. I'd known him way back in year 2000 but I never know his name - cuz I never stopped to ask. I just call him pakcik . At first, I thought they were calling him Boy. He's so old already so it couldn't possibly be Boy. That is sooo out of place, ya know? So he's Bai.

Bai's nice. Informative and helpful. He remembers me as that little girl who used to drive super fast, walks super fast and do things super fast. He has aged considerably since I last saw him. Nevertheless, he's happy to see me. And I'm glad to see him too. =)

Next is Merry. Previously we (me and my ex-cols lor) used to call her the 'toilet lady' or in Hokkien "jaga jamban eh lao zhar bor" (translate : the old lady who guards the toilet). Hey, I used to work in this company before, ok. Before the company moved into the new place where we call office right now, she sat just right in front of the toilet room at the old office - with her desk and partition and all that. She had this sad, forlorn look which was always accompanied by tightly sealed lips. Maybe she thought it gave her some sort of professional look but I beg to differ. It only makes her look older and all boxed up.

The summary is, she's one of those old hag that everyone hates. Period. I once had such a huge fight with her, the entire office cheered when they learnt that I did the impossible - I destroyed her prized paper works. Of coz, I only do that after obtaining permission from the BigBigBoss. Who asked her to step on my tails. You think I'm simply anybody whom you can step step step on ar? Duhhh...

Now? She sits right outside my room. That makes her looks like my personal Secretary. -___-'' But she's been treating me nice niccceeee ever since I returned to this company. I later found out why. Her only au piak sua (translate : strong supporter behind her back, someone with great influence in the company) is no longer here. Gone. Out. Not part of the company anymore. But mine are still here. Muahahaha. I have 2!!! Muahahaha! I'm sooo bad. If she remains at peace with me, I mah have mercy on her and spare her lor. If not,... nyek nyek nyek. Oh dear. I'm evil. *paiseh*

Next is Windy. Don't get me wrong. She ain't windy or anything. She ain't pretty as well. She's 30 yrs old (I thought she's in mid 30s), has shoulder length long hair and is quite talkative. Currently, I'm still neutral with her. She's a Finance clerk or something like that.

Next is Edo. He's Windy's boss. Finance Manager. The first time I saw him, I intantly didn't like him. Don't like him still. I have this sixth sense - which is always right. I trust my sixth sense 101%, wokay?! There's something about him that I don't like but I can't pinpoint what, yet. Guess I'll find out soon. He's skinny, tall, a bit hunchback, has old fashion hair style and his nose holes are huge! I bet it can fit 2 adult flies in each hole. Yuck!

That's all for now lar. I'll write more about them once I have collected all the necessary information. Tee hee!

fallen trees...

2007-07-06T17:48:00.000+08:00

I drove home from office last nite only to come across rows upon rows of fallen trees. Some uprooted. Some are just massively huge tree branches. There's even a fallen street lamp post! It rained so heavily yesterday afternoon that the whole stretch of road was filled up with fallen trees, tree branches and amongs them, a street lamp post.

What is happening to our weather? My office was totally blackened out yesterday afternnon too. No electricity. I thought it was struck by lightning! The thunders and lightnings were unbelievablly scary. And frightening.

Now I'm worried that if the same scenario happens while I'm driving my newly bought Viva, I would have been lifted off the ground and perhaps landed on the rooftop of some nearby shophouses.

o.O

Tell me that's not gonna happen. CONVINCE me that won't happen. Pretty please?!!

new car 2

2007-07-05T20:48:00.000+08:00

Called the salesman for my car this morning. He confirmed that my loan has been approved and that they are waiting for the next shipment of vivas to reach Kuching. Something like that. I asked him how long is that gonna take?

Probably one to two weeks time. Their closest estimate would be mid of July.

I hope I can get it next week! Before my entire family went off for holiday. Leaving only me behind. Huhuhu.

I guess I can take pics of my car once I get it. But then again, simply pasting the link of how a Viva looks like sounds easier eh?

Ok. For those non-Malaysian/outside Malaysia, Viva looks like this.

Go check it out. That site gives great automobile information. Cuz I maybe too lazy to take pics of my car once I get it. I'll be too busy driving it around the city! Oh hyuk! =D

Oh yeah. My car colour is Glittering Silver. ^-^

I also told my salesman about my request for the car plate number. I won't be choosing any numbers. Just get me any number except 4. Yeap. No number 4. I'm fine with any number but NOT 4!!!

Take 5454 for example. Looks nice? Do you know what it means in Chinese? It means : I die I die. Or Starve to death starve to death. Depends on which dialect you use lar.

Now who the fuck wants a number like that?

Or 2754. It means : You go I die

Ptfff. Rule number 1 : Not a single number 4 in the car plate. Anything else is fine.

How hard could that be? Right? RIGHT??!!

fourth day at work

2007-07-05T18:43:00.000+08:00

Today's the fourth day I started working in the new company.

I'm still shaking legs.

Surfing.

Reading newspaper. Borneo Post. The Star.

Then followed by CNN, Channel News Asia, BBC, New Straits Time (nst) etc etc.

I nearly read Utusan Malaysia and Beritan Harian. I said nearly! If I did, I'll kill myself.

I was so bored I nearly went bonkers. FYI, I have very low tolerance towards office works. I only sit in the office when there are paper works to be done. The rest of the time? I'd rather spend them outside the office - site works, meeting people, dealing... those stuffs.

My mind raced to find an excuse to go out! You know. Go out. Do something. Instead of sitting there, shaking legs! I'd finally decided to go to the bank. Needed to check whether my existing bank account with Maybank is still active or not. Otherwise, I'd have to set up a new account for my boss to bank in my monthly salary. I went to the 7th Mile's MayBank.

They treated me like a child. Just because I look like one. Fark them!

The damn counter officer made unnecessary remarks about my totally outdated AND closed account. Tried to LECTURE me for not updating my bank book.

I gave him a warning stare, and told him that I've just came back from abroad. With a heavy English accent. Okay. I lied about the 'just came back from abroad' story. So what? My account was already closed after I graduated and came back from UK. It's partly true! That shuts him up. Bloody asshole who looks like a cross breed of a mouse and a nerd.

With my account totally closed, I was forced to open a new one. Initially I thought I could reactivate my old account just cuz I like the account number. It has lotsa 8's in it. But no. They won't allow me to reactivate my account. Cuz it's CLOSED already. They said that they closed my account cause it has less than RM100 in it. If it has more than RM100 in it, they would have retained my account. Which means, if I had RM99.99 in it, the bank would have taken the money and closed my account anyway! I checked. I had less than RM2 inside. Muahahaha. Nevermind lar. Pity them. Let them have the money lar. Pathetic.

The bank officer who processed my application was a weird man-who sat next to the damn nerd mousie. With weird accent. And strange attitude. I totally don't understand him. He made a fuss when I couldn't provide him my company address. Acting cocky and arrogant and all that. Damn. I haven't got my name card. What does he expect? For me to memorise them?

He gave me some forms to fill. I called the office while filling in the forms, asking for the damn address. Gave it to him when I submitted the forms to him and guess what? He talked differently now!!! He said he's already got the address already. He called my office. And then he's all nice and good with me. After he called my office.

o.O

Do you see what I mean when I say they treated me like a kid? Damn.

And his efficiency doubled after THE call to my office. What does that tell you???

I hate pigs like that.

Which reminds me of my encounter while updating my bankbook, at the same bank. That was sometime in year 2000. The lady at the counter actually looked at the figures in my bankbook, stared at me, looked at my bankbook again, and asked me incredulously "Are you really working in this company??! This is your salary??!"

I rolled my eyes exasperatedly and asked her "What's YOUR problem??"

She smiled sheepishly and said "I just found it so unbelievable. That's all. Don't be angry yah".

Tulan.

Anyway, that's the bank story for today. Will tell you guys more bank stories next time. My other hobby includes frying bank officers for snacks. I stir fry them. I grill them. Why? They pissed me off greatly with all the stupid remarks that they made. I'll blog about it some other time though. Stay tuned!

first day at work!

2007-07-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

I reported for duty at the new company today.

I'm working in Kuching at the moment. The environment here is nice. They give me a huge room as my office (unlike my previous company, I didn't even have a room in Sarikei, all lies, empty promises, fcuk them). From my rough estimation, the room measures at least 12' x 12' in size. It was fully plastered (ceiling) and carpeted. I have my own telephone line, desktop, internet connection, air-cond, bookshelf, table and chairs. These may sound common but hey, after being deprived of even basic necessities such as these at my previous company, right now I feel like a dang thirsty human getting the taste of the first drop of water.

It was great!!!

I was then given a 1.5 inch thick document to read. It's the company rules book or something like that. I skimmed it through and somehow managed to remember the stuffs I may need during my stay in this company. No biggie. I can deal with that.

What I'm worried about is that I won't be getting my lappy! Cause they gimme a desktop and all that.

=(

I want a lappy I want a lappy I want a lappy!!!

Oh well. Screaming and wailing won't help. I submitted a requisition for it already. Hope they approve.

*pouts*

OMG! What if they don't??? I'd feel so CHEATED then!!!

*prays that THAT won't happen!!!*

The day went by uneventfully. I tried getting used to the room I've been given. Once in a while, I went out and chatted with the rest of the colleagues. I only tried surfing later in the evening, about 2 hours before office hour was over. I can do that everyday. Yeap. I can.

I don't like my Manager though. He reminds me of Mr. Mouse. Nothing similar physically speaking, but the way they behave... *slaps forehead* ... it's like they are twins. Haiyo.

Since my salary here is more than double of what I used to earn, my level of endurance should have doubled, right?

I hope so. Really. Honestly!

connection problems

2007-07-01T14:48:00.000+08:00

At times like this, I totally hate pcs and modems and Streamyx.

Cause I can't online.

And I don't really know nor understand why.

I'm totally blur like sotong.

I don't know for sure what are the causes. Is it my pc? Or my Dad's pc? Or my sister's pc? Virus attacks? Network problems? Modem? Or tat dang Streamyx. Or the bloody phone line?

I'm totally clueless.

I have 3 desktops and 2 laptops at home. Initially had 3 laptops but since I resigned, I've returned one of the laptop cause it was supplied by the company. All of them wifi connected. ALL the desktops have problems connecting into internet. ALL the laptops can connect without problems.

I hate desktops. Ugh!

I'm so miserable. 1 week without internet connections = no downloads = no anime to watch = no manga to read = no msn to chat = no movies to watch = no mp3s to listen to = no hope = no life

I'm as good as dead.

Just forked out 200++ bucks to buy a new wifi modem yesterday. Sent the modem to my friend for emergency CPR but apparently it's gone bonkers. So, I bought a new modem.

='(

With the new modem, I managed to surf a tiny wee bit. And to download stuffs.

That was last night. This morning when I woke up and tried surfing...

... I still have the same problem. WaaaaaaaAAAAA!!!

The desktop in my room can download stuffs through BitComet but can't surf at all. My sister's desktop downstairs can surf but can't download stuffs through BitComet.

Now, both of them can't even connect.

And I always get this warning/menu/message box/whatever you call it.

This connection has limited or no connectivity. You might not be able to access internet or some network resources. For more info, click this message.

Ugh! *sob* *sob*

The message doesn't help cause I'm a sotong.

=(

Initially I thought it was just a simple ISP clashes case. Apparently it's not.

Something evil is at work here. Damn.

I'm trying again tonight. See how it goes. Hope it's not a virus messing up things. Aiyoyo!

write more lar

2007-06-28T10:22:00.001+08:00

Okay okay. Straight after the previous post, I logged into my gmail and read several e-mails from friends and readers asking me to blog more often. *grins*

I love you all! Ok lar. For your sake, I'll write more lar. Happy? But hor, you guys only read read read nia, seldom comment one. But then again, I know lar my comment box like coffin, so difficult to open, like it's cursed or something. Aiyo.

Nevermind. Me very understanding one. I've got appointment at 10.30 AM but I'm still here typing away. Later on I speed all the way there lar.

I'm arranging for the loan stuffs later on. Hope no problem lor. Unless they think what I earn is way too little lor. Aiyah.

So, will post more after this lar. I'll charge my digicam's batteries later on lar. Will camwhore away lar.

Happy?

But hor, make sure u come back and read my blog ar. If not, I hunt you down sampai ke lubang cacing ooo!

=P

new car!

2007-06-28T09:57:00.000+08:00

Gulps.

My blog is quite dead, ne?

*paiseh*

What to do? My home pc's internet connection is quite messed up. *sigh*

And the speed is like okui (translate : tortoise).

So what do I do when I'm stuck at home till I start working at the new company on the 2nd July?

I shop.

Just bought myself a car yesterday.

It's a Viva. Glittering silver. Cheap cheap. 38k only. Cheap right?

I had a test drive yesterday too. Tried its auto transmission 1000cc and also its manual transmission 1000cc. The auto transmission is very swift and smooth. You can't feel the transition from 1st to 2nd gear and so on. I was quite impressed. And the manual OMG. It's close to Kelisa's feel and I like the difference in power between its auto and manual transmissions. Much better than Avanza (sorry Toyota, no offence but the truth is, most of your recent car products sucks and I'll always be a Honda fan but damn! Honda soooo expensive! I totally bolui to buy lor, tiu!).

Straight after the test drive, I sealed the deal. Upon reaching the showroom. Crazy hor?

I never expected Viva to be as roomy as ... being able to accommodate 5 ppl one go. With vast leg rooms. Soooo unexpected.

I remember asking for a test drive when I first saw Viva in one of the showroom here in Kuching. That was ages ago. No test drive allowed then. Stupid salesman. If I test drive then I would have booked the car there and then!!! Stewpid.

Oh well. I bought one in the end. Salesman told me I'll be getting it in 2-4 weeks time. Hope it's true. The last I checked, I had to wait 3 months.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen much Vivas on the road in Kuching either. I hope it's not a problematic car. I'd bang my head to the wall if it turns out to be. Aiyah.

i'm still alive!!!

2007-06-23T13:47:00.000+08:00

Howdie folks. Sorry for vanishing into thin air just like that.

I have the tendency to that recently. =P

I don't think you're upset over that, rite? RITE?

I just went to get a 'breather'... that lasted longer than I expected.

The breather here refers to:-

Eating (breakfast, lunch & dinner + morning snack + afternoon snack + midnite snack) everyDAY
Cruising (went cruising all over Kuching, stretched all the way to Samarahan too!) whole day
Shop shop shop
See look see look

After all that ler, I had a huge health problem at home lor. Every nite I lausai till I be tahan. Early morning also lausai for at least 3 times. But in the afternoon I'm just fine wor. Aiyah. Pek Chek.

Have I told you guys that my last day in the OLD company was on last Wednesday? Oh boy, I never thought I'd be so relieved to be gone from THAT company. I'll post up a separate story once I get to write it. It has to do with that "such a mess" post I did previously.

I had dinner with my ex-colleagues last nite. Seafood. Food only so so lar. But the gifts!!! Oh the gifts!!! I love them. Ehem. *giggles* There are 2 gifts. I'll post the pics up later tonite too.

I'm quite lazy lar. So pin tua wanna take pics and load them up. Even when I did have the pics, then I feel double lazy to load them up lor. Aiyah. How hor like this? Tsk tsk tsk.

On top ot that, I have an extreme case of temper fluctuation which may HARM my readers, both directly and indirectly. =P

I'm also having problems with my ISP at home (meaning I can't stay logged online for more than 5 minutes without having the fucking thing turning on and off, on and off, on and off. Ptfff!!!)

But but but!!! That doesn't mean I'm dead lor. I'm very much alive ler. Just that each time I reached home, I'm so beat I ended up in bed, snoring in a matter of minutes. Like an old worn out mother pig lor. Aiyoyo.

Bad influence ler?

*looks into the mirror*

And I look fat fat too. Aiyo. How?

Ai. Nia mind lar. I'm still alive mar. Good or not? *grins*

I'll try to kick myself to upload all those piccies and write post about them tonite lar. You say lar wookay or not?

*listens*

Wei? Wei? wei? wei?!!

=^_____^=

such a mess

2007-06-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

This is my 1st attempt posting through my pda, so it will be short.

I heard a very disturbing set of rumors this morning that sent my internal alarm bells off.

It's such a mess. I'm troubled. Why can't I just leave in peace? AAAaaarrrggghhh!!!

I'M HOME! YAY!!!

2007-06-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

I'm home I'm home I'm home!!!!!!!!!

It's so good to be home!!!!!!!!!!

*HUGS PILLOWS*

Had dinner with family and relatives. Then went cruising the town and bought lotsa ice cream for desert.

Now I'm full and sleepy and soooo contented I don't wanna do anything else! Except sleep.

*climbs into her bed to sleep*

Awwwww... I'll post more tomorrow. Really! Till then, oyasumi nasai!

ZZZzzzzz...

busy!

2007-06-14T19:44:00.000+08:00

Thursday really saves me! LOL

I've been very busy today. Fixed everything that I could. Packing starts at 6.30 PM.

I know I have lots of stuffs to pack, but never this much! Gosh! I am messy! I hope I'll be able to get enough sleep tonight!

I charged my digicam batteries while packing. I'm hoping to snap some Sarikei photos before I left this place for good tomorrow morning.

And nope. I won't miss this place. At all. That I can assure you. Muahahaha!

Ok. Time to continue packing. I've taken enough rest already.

=T_____T=

I've also been sneezing non-stop but the thought of going home somehow tones down my misery. Wakaka

I can't wait to go home!!! =D

bad mood

2007-06-13T20:54:00.000+08:00

I'm in quite a bad mood today.

It rained very heavily this morning and afternoon.

The weather's so cold my wounds (from my blasted fractured right foot) ache non-stop.

Every little thing pissed me off.

People riding on a motorbike while listening to their handphones INSIDE their helmets.

The idiots who drove 20 kmh in front of me + On a straight main road some more!!!

Those darn dogs that howled and cried non-stop in the frigging rain. Maybe they'd just been castrated and were looking for their balls in the middle of the fucking rain?

The fact that it's so hard for me to open my own comment box sends me in a fit of anger.

Streamyx on and off, on and off, on and off the very same way human breath in and out, in and out, in and out. TU-LAN.

Government servants salary raise up to 30% or was it 35%? Why the fuck do they get raises when they give lousy services to us taxpayers (remember the black, sour, long faces WITH NO SMILE AND arrogant retorts and comments to our queries), who paid their fucking salaries with our HARD EARNED tax money??? Not to mention the fact that they are so damn bloody I N C O M P E T E N T in their works, thus causing queues as long as dragons in every possible counter??? On top of that, they get house loans, car loans, loan this loan that. Pui!!! (Ok ok. Not all of them, but MOST of them are like that!!!)

My mum who NEVER gets what I'm talking about, and when she DOES GET what I mean, she's more worried over trivial things instead of the fucking BIG PROBLEM looming over me!

Why can't mothers just SEE the big picture?! Instead, they spotted the tiny speckle of dust near the bloody frame and fuss over that. Yeah, dusts that can be wiped off and be gone just at the snap of your fingers.

I'm contemplating the very idea of staying mute for at least one month. I'm fed up of talking. With morons. Especially! And I'm fed up of repeating myself over and over and over and over and over and over... *infinity loop*

Maybe I should get those punching sand bag and a pair of gloves. Each time I'm pissed I'll just go beat the pulp out of that bag.

I'm also thinking of how nice it would be if I could just get a baseball bat and send the stupid irritating dogs OUT OF FIELD. Or maybe out of life seems MUCH BETTER.

Have I mentioned that I hate kids/toddlers who cries and cries and cries and cries...

KNN. How the hell did they do that? Crying WHOLE DAY long. I hope they grow up blind from the excessive crying that they had. They so fucking deserve it. Cheebye kia.

If that damn kid is in front of me, I'll slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap his face till he stops crying. If not, I'll feed him lots and lots and lots of chillies till his lips are totally swollen. He likes to cry mar. I'll let him cry PUAS-PUAS!!! And if he screams so much till I damn tu-lan, I'll just slit his throat open wide wide and sapu lotsa salt onto his wounds and end his bloody misery. There. Habis cerita. End of story. Game over. Cipet.

Today is just so fucking lame. It's worse than Mondays. *cradles head*

Thursday please come quick! I need Thursday to save me!!!

Disclaimer : No child was harmed in the production of this post. The same applies to the dogs too. Whatever stated here was merely a fraction of the writer's WILD and totally DARK imagination which has NEVER BEEN PRACTICED in reality.

weird phonecallsss...

2007-06-11T19:22:00.000+08:00

I've been getting lots of that lately. Weird phone calls. Weird sms. Almost everyday. And at the most annoying of times.

Some of them started off like this:-

Cayang, I manyak cinta sama u. Why you tdk reply I sudah. U tak cayang sama I lagi ke?

Or this:-

Wei, why you treat me like that? You don't remember me? Neh, I'm the cute cute one in Miri here jek. Continues to make moaning sound.

Eeee!!!! You know what? All my hairs stand up straight straight listening to calls like that!

See char bor!
Chao char bor!
Gong char bor!
Siao char bor!

I really mou ngan tai. It's obvious the guys ditched you all stupid gals already and here you are, calling my phone number, moaning like some goddamn cheap horny cats by the alley. I siram you with hot boiling water baru you tau!

The worst is the second caller featured above. She's a chinese (you bring shame to chinese gals I tell you!!!) from Miri and she kept calling me (like so blardy rajin like that) continuously and especially when I was busy at the site until I hafta bark into the phone :

How many times do I have to tell you that you got the wrong number you siao char bor, gong char bor, you see char bor you!!! I'm a gal lar wei, not guy lar cipet you! Ki-si-lar lu! Chao ku liu! KNNCCB!!!

If she called me again I'd put up her phone number on those porn sites and have those horny guys screw her to death! Damn tulan I tell you!

Another Malay gal also kept calling my number not so long ago. She called and called and called and said all those nonsense. In the end, I took revenge by answering ALL of her phone calls and entertained her to the sound of wind howling, radio blasting and strange farting noises. It satisfies me immensely to learn that the silly bitch is actually wasting her money by having me answering her calls. Muahahaha!

She never called me back since then.

And today, I got another weird call. Don't get me wrong. It's not one of those si anu anu, but this person, I sort of know her cause I've dealt with her several times over the phone. Today, she sounded so frustrated and was so whiny and all that. So much so my eyes nearly fell out when I heard what she said. Here's part of the conversation. She's red. I'm blue. ;P

Miss. xxx, I've been trying to call your office in Kch for so many times and nobody answers my calls. Why?! Why?!! WHY?!

O.o ... -_-'' .... *silence*

I called your xxx Department also nobody answers the phone. Is your receptionist on leave or something happened or what? Is she dead?

Erm... who are you trying to reach?

(Totally ignoring me).. I've also tried again and again to call your PM (Mousie lor) but how come he never answers the phone oneee?!!! Why isn't anybody in your office answering my phone calls???! Why?! What's going on?!!!

=.='' Hey, I answered you... Just...

(She cuts me off) But it's so frustrating you know! I've been wasting all my time trying to reach all of you and you..... bla bla bla bla bla

Hold on hold on. Allow me to explain, ok? FYI, our company is currently moving to a new office so the telephone line's probably still not up yet. What with renovation and all those stuffs. *pause*

.......

As for my PM, he's ALWAYS like that. He hardly answers any of our phone calls. Probably scared of phones gua... *pause*

......

As for the people you're trying to reach, just tell me the names and I'll give you their phone numbers if I have them. If not, I'll give you other direct lines where you may be able to reach or get hold of them. If you still can't get them then gimme a shout and I'll fix that for you. How does that sound like to you?

Wonderful!!

She then proceeded to give me the names of the people she wanted to contact.

Weird or not? Either she's been under tremendous pressure or she's getting the Monday blues just like Garfield.

The last weird call I can handle. No problem. But not those from horny gals who definitely needs spanking. Euuu!!! So gatal!

I'm so blardy tulan when I get those calls. How do you deal with them lar? Any good ideas or not?

packing

2007-06-11T07:18:00.000+08:00

I have to start packing today.

I'm going back to Kuching this Friday.

Will hand over everything to my Kuching HQ office on coming Monday.

My last day is probably either on next week's Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.

Can't wait for Friday to come!!! ^___________^

But 1st, I gotta clear my room room and office here first.

-___-''

Lotsa works lei. *sulks*

accidents everywhere

2007-06-10T18:23:00.000+08:00

I've just came back from Sibu. I drove back on my own from Sibu to Sarikei. Halfway through though, I came across a terrible accident.

The white Kancil was upside down (not like overturned turtle, more like its lying on its side) and the passenger(s) were out. On the road.

I didn't really look or stare or anything. I tried to divert my eyes and pretended nothing was there.

The truth is, there were close to 10 cars stopping by both sides of the roads to get a better view. 2 fully loaded buses too. Yes. They stopped their vehicles, came out and walked all the way to the scene to check things out.

Gross!! Why the fuck are people so kaypoh one?

And then I noticed a reporter. With my trained eyes, I can easily spot those busybodies/fucking reporters even before they flash out their goddamn cameras. The way they hurriedly walked/jogged to the scene, eager faces, hands always on their bag/pouch or whatever shit it is that housed their cameras.

A woman was lying on her side (her back facing me when I passed by the scene). I also noticed some by-passers digging out stuffs from the overturned white kancil and then piling them up on top of her.

Does that mean she's dead?

I bet other passengers have been sent to the nearest hospital. The woman lying there could not be the driver.

How do I know? Through my 6th sense lor. You choy meh? If wrong mah wrong lor. No need to die one!

Before reaching the scene, I saw 2 very long, black, fresh tyre tracks on the road. Skidding marks. Kinda like those stuffs you see on CSI series. It means the car was traveling super fast and then suddenly braked and skidded off the road. And then overturned and all those bla bla bla shits. Otherwise you wouldn't see those tracks on the road.

I'm glad that I watched CSI and can sorta guess what happened earlier. The scene and everything. On the other hand, I'm not as glad cause the imagination is scaring me so much I refused to look further or any longer just now and I cowardly just eased off, putting more distance between me and the accident scene.

And to those damn toto/big sweep/number buyers - NOPE. I didn't even notice the vehicle number.

This incident reminds me of the accidents that I saw last few weeks. It was the recent trip I took back to Kuching and as usual, I boarded a bus. And choy choy choy! I saw 4 accidents along the road. Well 3 accidents actually. The other one is just a car breakdown.

Here's what I remember about those accidents:-

One involving a red Hilux which tried to overtake the car in front of it without realizing our bus which was overtaking at the same time too. The Hilux driver was so shocked upon noticing the bus when he turned out that he made a sudden lunge to the left side and then wham! His whole car was spinning uncontrollably and ended up in the longkang on the left side of the road. Lucky for him it's only a drain there! The ravine is on the right side!!! He should thank whatever God he is worshiping BIG TIME!!!

Second one involves a Kancil (as well duh!). It was stuck inside the huge drain by the roadside. The whole car was INSIDE the drain! Apparently, the driver lost control of the car and somehow ended up trapped inside the drain. I noticed that they unwound the windows in order to climb out from the Kancil. They couldn't open the doors!

Third one was a nasty accident as well. I can't remember the details but a Kancil was involved as well (damn Kancil drivers). Half of its body was totally crushed like a matchbox. The tow truck was there to haul it back for repair. I doubt they can ever repair that piece of shit ever. It'll probably ended up being metal scrap. And I doubt the driver or passenger in front can survive. They're probably in the bilik mayat (translate : mortuary) by now.

Fourth one wasn't an accident. The car just broke down in the middle of nowhere. The poor driver. He should have checked his vehicle before traveling. *sigh*

Each time I traveled, I was so worried that I won't be able to make it safely back home! The way THAT particular bus driver drives, I'm never ever gonna take ANY bus from that company ever! Pui!

And each time I'm driving, it doesn't matter how safely I drive. I'm worried that other MORONS of a driver will ram their car into me! Or the damn trailer carrying those humongous kayu balak will somehow has a loose piece. Imagine those huge shits falling down from the fucking trailer onto you when you're trailing behind it. Fuck! You'd be a goner in seconds!

Damn lousy Sarawak roads and KNN drivers are everywhere! Aiyoh! No peace I tell you NO PEACE!!!

*slaps forehead*

Aiyoyo!!!

those neighbours again

2007-06-07T21:01:00.000+08:00

I

HATE

MY

NEIGHBOURS.

They have been singing dangdut shits for the past 3 fucking hours non-stop I'm getting dizzy just listening to their monotone and ever so lousy off-key vocals my ears feel like dropping down and close shop and I so wanna tembak them!!!!!!

I don't mind being deaf now.

Cipet.

Do I know you? - Part 2

2007-06-07T19:15:00.000+08:00

I got that today. Again.

Another guy looked at me happily, expecting me to remember him. Haiya, maybe I got a twins somewhere else hor? Eeee... wei, twin wei, you now this guy anot ar? *point* *point*

I just stared at him blankly.

He looks familiar but I can't recall.

*sigh*

Guy : Aik?! Tidak ingat ka? (translate : Huh? Don't remember?)

No. You're okay looking but not super duper hensem till I masuk longkang while walking so sorry lar, I can't remember lor. By the way, that's an old trick guys used to use on gals right? Hmm something's not right.

Again, I looked dumbly at him. *blink* *blink*

He stared at me in disbelief and I just left cuz I was in a hurry to do my tasks and time was running out.

Am I having amnesia? Or am I really that famous? Wakakaka. So many people know me and I can't even remember their names lar.

On 2nd thought... Muahahaha. Cannot be ler. Haiya. I'm definitely not famous. But the thing is, they got my name, title, working place and post all right. They even know the car I'm driving, where I'm living and the projects I'm involved in and places I've been traveling to. Sounds scarry? That's why I prefer to blog without any references to my real name lor. Aiyoh. Imagine the chaos when ALL of them found out about my blog. In reality, one would be enough. That's my doom liao.

I'd definitely be in TROUBLE.

Deep shit. Yeah.

Tsk tsk tsk.

So those of you who know me in person, keep quiet and dun tell anybody ar! Otherwise, I'll have no choice but to kill you!!!

I'm in trouble. Seriously. These amnesia of mine is scaring me bit by bit. I just remembered that I can't remember the names of the twins I had dinner with last Sunday. I only remember their surname and last names. But not their first names. Oh wait. I'm not sure about the last name of the other one either. OMFG!!! Taskete kudasai!!! (translate : Help please! ---> in Japanese)

*bangs head to the nearest wall*